Taking Chances
by ConflictedCalypso
Summary: On her first day of college, Bella meets the mysterious and compelling Alice Brandon. Bella doesn't know why, but she finds herself needing to know more about her. But is Alice so haunted by her past that she can't be helped? M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****So I got the idea for this the other day, and it didn't want to leave me alone. It's M for a reason. So don't like, don't read. Simple.**

**This is pretty short for me, so the next coup****le of chapters **_**should **_**be longer. Feedback is appreciated - so let me know if it's awful. I can take it. ;) **

**Oh, and I don't own the characters. ****I doubt Stephanie would approve. And I don't own the song. That's by Daughtry. **

I didn't really know what to expect. It was my first day of college – well, my first day _at _college. Classes didn't start until next week, but I wanted to get here early so I wouldn't end up lost. Plus, I'd been pretty damn excited about _finally _getting away from home.

Forks wasn't exactly the best place to live out your high school years, trust me.

But I survived Forks High, and I graduated with good enough grades to get me into …, which was my first choice. The day I got my acceptance I was so freaking happy. I think I scared Charlie, just a little.

That's my dad, by the way. He's been looked after me since I was fourteen and my mum passed me off to him after she got married again. At first I was reluctant to leave Phoenix, where I'd grown up, but Forks wasn't as bad as I thought.

I kind of grew to love the place, eventually.

I'm Isabella Swan, by the way. Bella for short – I hate people using my full name. I have for as long as I can remember, I don't really know why. But people have called me Bella for so long now that it takes me a while to respond to Isabella.

The room that I'd be staying in for my first year here at … was better than I expected, I guess. I didn't have a roommate, so I had loads of space, and my own bathroom. No shower though – those were down the hall. The joys of sharing a communal shower with the other twenty girls on this hall. Who were probably all freakishly perfect.

The door banged open then, the wood smacking against the wall loudly, making me jump up from where I'd been lying down on the bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, curious as to what the sudden commotion was.

But it was just Charlie – laden with so many bags that I could barely see his head, God knows how he navigated the three sets of stairs t get up here – and my best friend, Jacob Black, who was also carrying a multitude of my stuff.

I'd known Jake since I was tiny, and when I'd moved back we'd become instant friends. He was a year younger than me, and even though I knew that he had a _huge _crush on me I never mentioned anything to him. I didn't want to wreck our friendship, or make things awkward between us. His friendship meant a lot to me – there weren't many people that I could count on back in Forks.

I'd managed to piss of the majority of the female population of my year by snagging the hottest boy in the school. Edward Cullen. We'd started dating two years ago, and had been pretty inseparable since.

There was one thing though – I knew for a fact that he loved me more than I loved him. I don't know when I realised that, exactly. But I know it's true.

That makes me feel guilty, and I did try breaking up with him before we left for college (seeing as we were miles away from each other), but he was adamant that we could still be together. I just couldn't let him down like that.

And I did love him.

There were a few other people I could count on back in Forks – Mike had always been around, even though he seemed more interested in getting into my pants than anything else; and Ben and Eric were pretty awesome too.

But Angela was my best friend at Forks High. I was really going to miss her – she was miles away from me, too. I seemed to be the farthest away from any of my old friends. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

Jacob interrupted my inner rambling by sitting next to me and the bed and flinging an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him so that he could hug me to his side.

"I can't believe you're leaving me, Bells. I'm really going to miss you." He shook his dark hair out of his brown eyes – it desperately needed cutting again.

"Sorry, Jake, but I think my dad's got the worst end of the stick – he has to _cook _for himself for weeks. I don't know how he'll survive." I ducked out of the way of the pillow that Charlie threw at me, but I nearly failed because Jake _still _had his arm around me and it was beginning to annoy me.

Why couldn't he just accept that we were never going to more than friends?

Laughing, I shook Jake's arm off and stood up, which, of course, meant that he stood up, too.

"C'mon Jake, we'd better leave her to it. It's going to take you years to unpack all this, Bells. Did you actually leave anything in the house?"

"Damn. I thought it looked a little bare when I left." I stepped closer to Charlie and hugged him. This would be the longest that we'd been away from each other since I'd moved in with him.

"Right. Have fun kiddo. I'll call when we're back home." Neither me or Charlie were good with words, so I just left it at that, stepping back only to be enveloped by a different pair of arms.

"I'll really miss you, but have fun here." Jake pressed his cheek to my hair before stepping away quickly, as if knowing how uncomfortable it made me feel.

They left then, and I had nothing to do but unpack and explore. I got through two boxes before getting bored, so I gave up with that and left my room. There weren't many other people who had arrived as early as I had, so there weren't a lot of people about.

I decided to take advantage of that and pawed through several boxes before finding my shower stuff. Then I headed down the hallway, armed with extra clothes (I'd been travelling all day) and a towel. I double-checked before pushing open the door that there wasn't any steam creeping from underneath it.

There wasn't, so I figured that I'd be ok. The last thing I wanted to do on my first day here was be embarrassed. I breathed out a sigh of relief when the room was empty, but I still went to the opposite end of the room to the door, in the farthest stall possible. The hot water was relaxing, and I finished up quickly, eager to explore the campus.

And maybe meet some new people. I wasn't a total recluse – I did actually _like _other people.

My phone rang as I was putting my stuff back into my room, and I considered whether or not to answer. I let out a sigh before hitting accept call – if I ignored him he'd only call back and text me about fifty times.

"Hey."

"Hello beautiful. How's …?"

"I cant really say, I've only seen my room, which is nice enough. I was just on my way to check the place out."

"Oh, awesome. I still don't see why you couldn't have waited an extra two days before you left, though. We could have had more time together." I could practically hear the pout in his voice. Ever since we'd slept together the first time – about three months ago, now – he'd been obsessed with sex.

Sure, it was _nice _but it wasn't anything amazing. That might be because he didn't have a clue though, bless him. But I didn't see why he obsessed so much - I certainly didn't. In fact, I'd been thinking of ways to avoid it recently. I just didn't enjoy it that much. There were no fireworks, like you read about.

Nothing like that. Maybe there was something wrong with me. I knew for a fact that most of the girls at Forks would have killed to be in my position.

"You know me, always organised."

"Maybe I could come down there this weekend . . ." Couldn't he get the message that didn't _want _to talk about this right now? Obviously not.

"I don't think that's a good idea." My voice was sharper than I intended, but at least now he's get the message.

"Fine." Great, now he was sulking. Baby.

"Look, I have to go. I'll speak to you soon."

"Ok. Say hi to Emmet for me." Emmet was his big brother – older by two years. The guy was huge, but was a teddy bear when you got to know him. I hadn't expected to get on with him when I'd first dated Edward – the guy terrified me at first. But now we were good friends, and I was glad that I wouldn't be totally alone here.

"I will. Bye."

"Bye, I love you." I didn't say it back. Instead I hung up and threw my phone onto my bedside table. I didn't want to be bothered, not just by him, but by _anybody, _while I got to know this place.

It was something different, a totally new experience, and I was glad to be able to start afresh, make new friends, be whatever I wanted to be without people judging me because I changed.

That was what college was about. Well, for me it was.

I was probably going to get lost, but it was only two in the afternoon, so I wasn't in any danger of it getting dark. The grounds of this place were probably bigger than the whole of Forks, so I was going to have a lot to memorize.

I had a map, and even though I probably looked like a real tourist, I used it. I went over to the library first, mainly because I was majoring in English, and even if I wasn't I'd still spend a lot of time in there. I loved reading – if I had brought all of my books from back home I would've needed way more boxes.

As it was, I'd just brought my favourites. But hopefully I'd be able to find some new stuff around here.

Then I went over to the science building, but it looked a little too futuristic and sci-fi for me, so I didn't go inside.

There weren't many people about, but those I did see smiled and nodded, and generally looked friendly. I put the map away – the less attention I drew towards myself, the better. Being in the spotlight wasn't good for someone as uncoordinated as me.

After I went to the English department and had a look around (everything was spotlessly tidy – a change from back home, that was for sure), I just let my feet take me wherever they wanted to go, not caring where I ended up.

Me being me, though, as I was walking along a gravel path through some gardens, my foot got stuck and I went flying. I managed to use my hands to stop myself hitting the ground headfirst, but the impact stung my palms. Lifting them up I saw that I'd grazed the skin pretty badly.

Great.

They'd better be healed by the time classes started – I didn't want everybody _knowing _how much of a klutz I was.

"Hey, you alright? I saw you fall, it looked pretty bad." I glanced up to see a guy looking at me with concern. He had a subtle Southern accent. He was tall and wiry, but even under his sweater I could see that he had well-developed muscles on his arms.

His hair was honey-blond, and he ran a hand through it before offering it to help me up. I tried to decline (what with the blood and all), but he didn't listen and instead pulled me upright.

"Sorry, I kinda lack balance. Or coordination." Could I make a bigger fool out of myself? On my first day? God, I'm such an idiot. But he just laughed, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Why are you apologising? Are you alright?" He sounded so concerned. Bless him.

"I'm fine, honestly. This kind of thing happens on a regular basis. I'm Bella, by the way." He shook my hand even though there was still blood on it, not looking the least bit repulsed like I would have.

"Jasper. Nice to meet you. You new here?" He started walking, in the direction I'd been headed, so fell into step beside him.

"Yep. Majoring in English."

"Awesome. I'm more of a scientist, myself. I'm doing chemistry. Second year."

"Tough break." He laughed, still smiling. We talked about meaningless stuff then. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, I could see myself getting along with him well.

"Right, this is my stop. I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for back there, by the way."

"Not a problem. Saving damsel's in distress is why I'm here early." He winked, before adding: "Here. Take my number – call me if you want to hang out." I passed him my phone and he put his number in, before he waved and made his way into the building we were stood in front of. It looked like a dorm, but I had no idea where it was in relation to mine.

I continued walking, and after a few minutes I arrived in front of what claimed to be the arts department. I was curious (I'd heard a lot about this college being particularly good for the arts). So I went inside.

It was, like the rest of the place, state of the art. The theatre was huge, and posters covering the walls boasted performances – but most were from last year. That would be one thing on my list of things to do – go and see a play. They looked pretty good.

I hadn't seen anyone else near this building, so when I heard someone playing a few chords on an acoustic guitar, curiosity got the best of me again. I followed the sound of the music through several hallways.

It was a girl, of that I now knew, because she's started singing. I couldn't hear the words yet, I was too far away, but I could tell from here that she was amazing. Good on the guitar, too.

The room that she was playing in had the door open slightly, and I hesitated before starting towards it. I didn't know if she would be particularly welcoming to me if she saw me watching her.

I knew I wouldn't be.

So I proceeded with caution. I didn't need to, though, because even though she was facing the door, her eyes were closed.

She was beautiful, but not in a classical way. Her hair was short, and stuck out in every direction possible. Her features were small, delicate, just like the rest of her body. She looked so fragile, as if she could snap in one wrong move.

Her hands moved with an easy elegance over strings of the guitar - she must have been playing for years. Her voice was soft but powerful, and she was an _amazing _singer. She'd have no problem making a career out of it, I was sure. I didn't know the song that she was singing, but I could make out the lyrics:

_For the first time you can open your eyes_

_And see the world without your sorrow_

_Where no-one knows the pain you've left behind_

_And all the peace you could never find_

_It's waiting there to hold and keep you_

_Welcome to the first day of your life_

_Just open up your eyes_

She carried on singing, but I couldn't stand there and watch her for much longer. I didn't want her to see me, because I didn't know how she would react. I didn't want her to think that I was some sort of weirdo-stalker.

Now _that _would be just the type of first impression that I'd make.

But it was more than that, if I was being honest with myself. For some inexplicable reason, I also _wanted _her to see me. I wanted to know more about her. Why she looked so broken. Why she sang with such emotion in her voice.

And to be honest, that scared me. I mean, I didn't even know the girl, and I wanted to know more about her? That just wasn't me. I wasn't drawn to people so quickly. It took me weeks to get accustomed to new people.

Not seconds.

So I turned around and got the hell out of there. I don't know if she heard me leave. I didn't really care, though. She wouldn't see much of me. So she wouldn't recognise me if (when) she saw me again.

And I was planning on seeing her again. Just when there were other people around, so I wouldn't make a fool out of myself.

I considered calling Jasper, but it hadn't been long since we'd parted. I didn't want him to think that I couldn't get by on my own. Besides, I really should be trying to figure out where the hell my dorm was.

I wasn't lost.

I was just … adjusting.

While wandering around.

Quite possibly looking like an idiot.

But hey. That's just me.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the week passed by pretty quickly. It didn't take me long to get my bearings, and I was really looking forward to classes starting on Monday. I didn't have a roommate, but the girl next door had introduced herself to me the other day. She was called Eve, and she seemed nice enough.

On the Sunday, Emmet asked me to meet him and Rosalie for coffee. Rosalie was his girlfriend – I'd never met her before, but she made Emmet happy, so she couldn't be that bad.

I didn't get lost on my way over to the Starbucks, which was quite an achievement for me. I paused in the doorway - it was crowed and I didn't want to wander round like an idiot looking for them.

But I saw Emmet stand up and wave from across the room, and made my way through the shop over to them.

"Hey, Bella!" He hugged me, and when he released me I saw the other girl sat at the table, looking at Emmet with slightly raised eyebrows. She had perfect, glossy blond hair and emerald green eyes.

And oh, yeah. She was absolutely stunning. As in, model gorgeous. And totally _not _the type of person I was used to being around.

"Bells, this is Rosalie. My girlfriend." The girl smiled and stood up as well, and shook my hand. So far, so good. She seemed nice.

"Hey. Call me Rose for short. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah, you too." We all sat down then, and Rosalie went to get us some drinks, leaving me and Emmet alone.

"So, what do you reckon?"

"She seems . . . nice."

"Well, she's more than nice. Seriously. You'll see."

"I guess I will."

"So, you like it here? Not regretting leaving Eddie boy behind?" I laughed, mainly because I knew that Emmet didn't like me and Edward together. But not in the 'you're not good enough for my brother kind of way.'

No, it wasn't like that at all. Instead, Emmet thought that _I_ was too good for Edward. They weren't especially close, Edward and Emmet, and I didn't really know why. I presumed it had to do with a girl, though.

I don't know. But I knew that if I broke up with Edward, Emmet wouldn't shed any tears. He'd still be a good friend to me, just like he always had been. I was glad that me being with Edward had led me to being such good friends with his brother.

Most people were put off by the sheer _size _of Emmet, because he was _huge_. But it was good for me, because if anyone messed around with his friends, he'd do something about it.

It'd meant that I hadn't had to worry about anyone messing me about for the last two years. It didn't matter that he was away at college for most of the year – he'd do anything to protect the people he loved.

That was just one of the things that made him so awesome.

Rosalie came back then, and we chatted about anything and everything for a few minutes. I hadn't really looked around the coffee shop, being too preoccupied with the conversation, so when there was a lull I cast my eyes around.

There were still a lot of people in here, so it was significantly warmer than the chilly air outside. Everyone looked relaxed and happy, which I guessed would probably change when the workload started.

The door had a bell above it, so when it rang I automatically glanced over. And then completely blanked out on what Emmet and Rose were saying.

Because it was her.

The girl that I'd seen singing. I hadn't seen her since then, but she was unmistakable. The hair and the features set her apart from everybody else in the room. Her eyes flickered around once, before coming to rest on my own.

They were the brightest blue that I'd ever seen before, like the ocean, and I wanted nothing but to keep looking into them all day.

But I couldn't do that.

No matter how much I wanted to.

So I ripped my gaze from her face and onto the table, praying that she'd just get a drink and leave. I didn't know if I could handle her being in the same room as me without me doing something stupid.

When I risked looking up again, she was standing in the queue, leaning against the wall with her hands buried in the pockets of her black skinny jeans. Rosalie and Emmet hadn't noticed that anything was wrong, but I needed to know her name.

Maybe if I had that then I'd stop obsessing over so much.

Hopefully.

"Um, guys? Who's that girl? I, um, heard her singing the other day and she was really good." I tried to keep my voice as nonchalant as possible. I don't think they noticed. Rose looked up and glanced in the direction I was looking. She frowned when she realise who I was asking about.

"That's Mary Alice Brandon. Prefers Alice." Her mouth twisted when she said the girl's name, which only made me curious. "And yeah, she's good. But you don't want anything to do with her, Bella. Trust me."

"Why not? Is there something you're not telling me?" It was Emmet that answered.

"Yeah. She's bad news, Bella. She's into some pretty bad stuff ... she's definitely on drugs, and God knows what else she does."

"She was in the same class as me last year." It was Rose who was talking now. "She didn't want to be there. She tried to drop out, but her parents wouldn't let her. So she did enough to scrape by, but that was it. She would have flunked out if her daddy hadn't been paying a huge amount of money to the board here."

"They weren't happy when she didn't get good enough grades, so apparently she's being forced to repeat the year. You should stay away from her, Bella. She hasn't got the best reputation, and she … she managed to turn one of my best friends into a druggie who had to drop out because she spent all her money.

"You don't want anything like that happening to you, do you? So stay out of her way and she wont bother you."

I had to admit, I was more shocked than I let on. But at least now I knew how she'd been able to sing with such emotion in her voice, and why she'd looked so sad.

If I was being honest, I think I knew there and then that I wouldn't be able to stay away from her. But I'd been warned, so I could be more careful than that other girl that they'd told me about.

I hoped.

Alice had gotten her order by then, and I lifted my eyes to watch her walk out, trying to be inconspicuous about it. I'm pretty sure it worked. We carried on talking about crap, then, and I was just about to announce that I had to go when Rosalie waved a hand over her head, trying to get someone's attention.

"Jazz! Over here!" I turned around to see who she was talking to in time to see a familiar head of blond hair making its way over to us.

"Jasper?" I'd spoken without realising it, and both Emmet and Rosalie turned to look at me in slight disbelief.

"Bella? Hey! How do you know my sister?"

"Your sister?"

"Yeah, me and Rose are twins." He slid into the chair between me and Rosalie, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

"Oh, cool. And I only know her because of Emmet – he's my boyfriend's brother."

"Oh, Edward? I've heard some stories about him."

"I bet." I turned to Emmet, who just smiled at me a little sheepishly. I was still a little surprised that the people I'd already met knew each other. Must be a small college.

"So, how do _you _two know each other?"

"Well, I saw Bella fall over the other day and went to help her up."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I stuck my tongue out at Emmet – he knew well how much of a klutz I was.

"Haven't seen you around much, Jazz, where've you been? Not moping in your room, I hope." Rosalie sounded a little disapproving, and I wondered why Jasper would need to be 'moping'. He had seemed happy enough when I'd met him.

"A little?" He ran one hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it already had been by the wind. An international sign of nervousness. _Now _I was interested.

"Jasper … You know he's not worth it, right?" Rose grabbed his hand before he could move it again, and shot a wary glance at me before turning her attention back to her brother. I was guessing that that had to do with the 'he'. And I was guessing that that meant that Jasper was gay.

She was probably worried that I'd be horrible to him. Which I'd never do. I was cool with that, and people that weren't were the one with the issues. Love is love.

"I know. But that doesn't change _anything _though, does it? I can't just pretend that nothing . . . that nothing happened. It'll just take me a while."

"Well, don't let it bother you too much. Okay? Tell you what; we'll take you out one night this week. Cheer you up. You in?"

"I guess so."

"Awesome. Emmet?"

"'Course."

"Bella?" I started a little. I didn't know Jasper _or _Rose that well. But I wasn't about to turn down their invitation. If they wanted me to go, then I would.

"Sure."

***

Monday passed by in a blur. I expected my first day to go quickly . . . but not _that _quickly. But I found all my classes ok, and all my lecturers were nice. I even made some new friends, so I wasn't sat like a loner at lunch.

It was a bit of relief to finish the day, though. Not that I actually had anything to do. I went back to my room and hung out with Eve for a little bit, because she was nice and I didn't have anything better to do.

But I decided to go for a walk after I'd eaten later on. It relaxed me in some way, and besides, the grounds were even more spectacular at night. And it looked totally different in the dark – it was like discovering a new place all over again.

I didn't meet anyone until I turned a corner by the library – I couldn't quite make out who it was, but there was definitely a figure up ahead. I slowed down, an automatic reaction, as I edged closer.

They were leaning against a lamppost, obviously waiting for someone, and as I approached them it was apparent that they were smoking. They looked up just as I was about to go past, and I nearly skidded to a stop when I realised that it was Alice.

She didn't react as I walked past her, even though I wanted her to. I needed help, I really did. I'd been told to stay away from her. By trustworthy people, yet I didn't want to listen to them.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Someone else was walking towards me, a guy that reminded me of Emmet purely because he was huge, too. His face was hidden in shadow, but I could see his head darting from side to side as he walked.

It made me curious. So I did something which I'd never done before. And hoped that I never did again, because it'd probably get me arrested if someone found out and didn't like it.

And by someone, yes, I do mean Alice.

I stepped off the path as soon as the guy had gone passed me, and with a guilty look over my shoulder I darted behind one of the hedges that lined the pathways. I crept back along it, suspecting that Alice had been waiting for this guy, and wanting to know what she was doing with someone like him.

I could guess, but I wanted proof. Maybe then I could bring myself to keep put of her way.

Maybe.

I couldn't make out their faces from where I was hidden, but I could hear their conversation perfectly. I could only hope that I didn't lose my balance and fall _through _the hedge. That would be a typical Bella-moment.

"I want the same as last time." I could tell it was her straight away – she sounded just as soft as she had when she'd been singing. Her voice, like everything else about her, was unique to her and _only _her.

"Money first." In contrast, the guy sounded gruff, and as if his throat had been but through a grater. I heard Alice sigh before she reached into the jacket she was wearing and pulled out a wad of cash.

The guy made a grab for the money but she stepped backwards easily, holding it out of his reach. He growled, obviously annoyed, but this time he was the one to reach into his coat, bringing out a bag of white powder.

They swapped at the same time, and without another word passing between them, they guy turned and walked away, leaving Alice where she was. She took another drag of the cigarette that she held in her hand before dropping it to the floor and stamping it out. Then she walked away.

I couldn't move. I didn't know why, but I couldn't. I tried, but my legs wouldn't respond.

So it was true. Alice did drugs. It shouldn't surprise me, but it did. And I shouldn't be bothered by it, but I was.

But _why_?

I knew people that had done drugs back in Forks, and I hadn't cared. They could do what they wanted to themselves, as long as it didn't affect anyone else. But shouldn't I be feeling the same about Alice?

I shouldn't care – I'd seen her three times now, and I hadn't even had a conversation with her.

And yet . . . I couldn't shake the feeling that on some level I knew her. Or that I _wanted _to know her. When I knew perfectly well that that just wasn't normal. Not for me.

Maybe it was just because I was in a new place.

But that was just wishful thinking on my part. Because in all honesty, I was scared. I was scared by how much I wanted to get to know her when I knew so little about her.

I was scared that I wanted to know her even when I new that she took drugs. I shouldn't be thinking things like that, not about anyone.

And especially not someone I barely knew.

And especially not a girl.

Fuck. I needed to get away from there. Maybe if I went back to my room I'd be able to think more clearly. Or I could at least do something with Eve again. A distraction would be welcome right about now.

Maybe I _should _stay the hell away from Alice. She was already affecting me badly. Surely the least logical thing to do would be to strike up a conversation with her.

If I stayed away, then I'd go back to being regular, normal Bella again.

I hoped it'd be as easy as that.

Otherwise I didn't stand a chance.

**A/N: ****Okay, so who saw that happening? ;)**

**Let me know w****hat you guys reckon about this. Or just generally the direction I'm taking it. 'Cause I wasn't sure what you'd think . . .**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Virtual hugs and cookies for all. You're awesome. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****Ok, so I got a few reviews about the whole Alice being on drugs thing. And yeah, there is a reason for it, it's not just random, I assure you. :)**

**And thank you to everyone who **_**did **_**review, or put this on alerts or favourites. You. Rock. :D**

By Wednesday, I was already swamped with work. I hadn't even though that it was possible to _have _as much homework as I did. I'd certainly never gotten so much in two days back home.

So after I finished my final class of the day, I went to the library. I hadn't been in before – so to say I was impressed was an understatement. It was probably bigger than my house. And it had three floors.

All the wall space on the floor I was currently on was taken up by huge bookcases, displaying more titles than I'd ever seen in my life. I could spend eighty years in here and never read all of the books.

Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one with the idea of starting work today – all the tables I could see were full, as were the computers. Sighing, I went up to the second level to see if I had better luck.

There was only one table that had any space. And that was right at the back, and one of the chairs was already occupied. And, just my luck, the girl sat there was none other than Alice Brandon.

Fuck. Me.

But she wasn't about to cheat me out of getting any work done, so, trying not to think too hard about it, I walked over to where she was sat. The rest of the tables were all far away, and I had no doubt that she had chosen this one because it was out of everyone's way.

It was certainly . . . secluded.

"Is this seat taken?" I was glad when my voice didn't waver. That was always a good sign. She glanced up from the book she was reading in surprise, and turned her head to face me.

"Nope." Then she went back to reading. Not willing to be put off by her cold manner, I sat down opposite her and took my books out of my bag, getting to work. She kept on reading, and after an hour of sitting in silence, and when I'd done three pieces of work, I decided to brave a conversation with her. It wasn't hard – I'd read the book she was reading a few months ago.

"Good book." I kept my eyes on the table, tracing the pattern with one of my fingers, but out of the corner of my eye I saw her look up again, but this time I couldn't tell whether it was from curiosity, irritation or just plain shock that I was actually talking to her.

I could barely believe it myself.

"You've read it?" She sounded sceptical, and for some reason that annoyed me.

"Yeah, last year."

"And you liked it?"

"Yeah."

"Really? You don't look like the type."

"What? There's a _type _for what books people read?" Ok, so I was going into debate mode. With a girl who I didn't know. And who scared me a little. Maybe more than a little, actually.

"Sure. People present themselves in a certain way. I'm generally good at reading people. First impressions and all that."

"Well, maybe sometimes you're wrong." _Like about me _was running through my head, but I bit my tongue so that I wouldn't say it. I didn't want to push her away when I was actually getting a conversation out of her. Something which I hadn't seen happen in the last few days.

Alright, so I'd been watching her. But not in the creepy-stalker way. Well, maybe a little. But I was just curious. Or that was what I was telling myself.

"Maybe. Most of the time I'm not, though."

"That doesn't mean that you can't be, though. No-one's infallible. And judging people is wrong. Especially when you don't know them." I hadn't realised it, but I'd been leaning over the table towards her, my head resting on one of my palms. She's been doing the same, but she noticed first and pulled back slightly.

"Oh, I don't judge people, sweetie. They judge me. I just have my impressions of them."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Nope. Not at all." She didn't seem inclined to say anything else, and I didn't know _what _else to say, so that was pretty much it for conversation. After a few more minutes, she put the book down and stretched.

"See you around." I didn't get a chance to reply, because by the time I'd glanced up and opened my mouth, she was halfway across the room. That girl moved _fast_.

And my eyes were totally not following her until she was out of my sight. And I could totally keep my mind from straying to her while I finished my work.

And I didn't constantly re-run our conversation from before, over and over again in my head. And I didn't wish that I'd said a thousand other things.

And I wasn't lying to myself for the rest of the day.

Or week.

Fuck. This was all so messed up.

Why me?

***

So it ended up being not just Jasper, but me as well who had to be cheered up that Friday. I hadn't seen Alice again, save a few brief glimpses around the campus. I was pretty happy about that, if I was being honest.

I needed some time away from her, where I could think clearly. And I had been doing _a lot _of thinking. But it hadn't really led me to any profound revelations. Well, one, but I think I'd known it all along.

Just really, _really _deep down.

Because I was pretty sure that on some level I was actually _attracted _to Alice. As in, the way I shouldn't be. Not that I was against that, not at all . . . I'd just . . . never considered the fact that I might be gay.

I should probably talk to Jasper about it. At least there actually _was _someone who I could talk to. I knew that most people didn't. But I knew I wouldn't – not yet, at least. It was stupid, but I thought that by _not _talking about, by essentially ignoring it, if I didn't _accept _it, then it wouldn't be true.

And I could pretend that I was the typical straight girl with the perfect boyfriend. Stupid, I know. But I wasn't ready to deal with it right now. I was potentially falling for a girl who I barely knew, a girl who was all wrong for me on every level.

So I pretended that I wasn't.

And hoped that tonight would be enough of a distraction to get away from those thoughts. All I had was hope.

I had no idea where we were going, so I had no idea what to wear, so I agreed that Rosalie could come over early to help me get ready. And it made Emmet happy that I was 'bonding' with his girlfriend – how could I say no to that?

So even though I didn't particularly like wearing makeup or dressing up, I did it anyway. I let Rose pick out something for me to wear – I did have _some _slightly more . . . revealing clothes. But I'd never worn any of them.

Until now.

The black mini-skirt I had on felt too restricting, and it showed _far _too much leg for me to be to be comfortable, but apparently I 'looked hot'. Rose's comment, of course. And the black halterneck I had on was too clingy. But I was going to make an effort to enjoy myself tonight.

I didn't let Rose put me in heels too high, though. I was likely enough to fall over with _nothing _on my feet, never mind six inch death-traps.

So I settled for black flats, while Rosalie towered over me in five-inch heels. I wouldn't be surprised if she almost the same height as Emmet.

When we met up with the guys Emmet looked as if he'd never seen me properly before, and Jasper also looked a little surprised.

Huh. Maybe I'd make an effort more often. It had gotten me an interesting response so far.

We went to some club, obviously not one that I knew, and Rose was hitting the drinks straight away. She didn't get asked for ID, which surprised me until I saw how low cut the top she was wearing was, and that the bartender was a twenty-something year old guy.

How he managed to get pour her drinks without taking his eyes off her cleavage, I'll never know. I hope he didn't drool in any of the drinks, either.

I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight – getting hungover on my second weekend away from home was _not _my plan.

Emmet wasn't drinking, either, and I guess that was so we could get back to the dorm. We were quite far away from campus, I guess so that we'd get served. The club was busy – but nowhere near full.

We went and grabbed a table near the back, twisting our way through the bodies crowded around the dancefloor, which was dead-centre of the floor. I didn't trip once – quite the achievement, if I do say so myself.

Music was pulsing through the walls, the beat of the song pounding through my head. Rosalie tried to persuade me to dance, but that was just too much of a hazard so I declined.

Jasper stayed with me while Emmet and Rosalie went to grind on the dancefloor, along with the other kids. I watched them for a few minutes, but it didn't take long for it to go a _little _too far, so I looked away.

Jasper was silent beside me, staring into the bottom of his now half-empty glass. He must have sensed my gaze on him because he looked up and smiled at me. But it didn't reach his eyes. This jerk must have hurt him more than he let other people see.

"That's him, you know. Over there. Trying to have sex with clothes on. With that blonde whore." I glanced away from his eyes to see who he was talking about - it didn't take me long to realize. I was a little horrified by them – how were they even getting away with that in public?

I fought back a shudder and turned back to Jasper again. He was still watching them, and even though I'd only really been around him three times, I could tell that the emotion playing across his face was anguish.

I could kill that guy, I really could. Jasper was an awesome guy – he didn't deserve to be treated like this.

"He broke up with me because 'I was getting too involved'. And he 'wasn't really gay'. Could have fooled me." He tore his gaze away from them, then, and a bitter laughed forced its way past his lips. He lifted the glass to his lips again, downing the whole thing.

"If he treated you like, then I'm sorry, but he's a bit of an asshole. Want me to kick the shit out of him for you?"

"Um, no offence Bella, but the guy was on the wrestling team for four years."

"And he claims he's _not _gay? What?" That got another laugh out of him. I hoped it was my superior wit and not the alcohol that was cheering him up. But I suppose either way was good. "I could take him, anyway. I'm stronger than I look."

"Sureeeeeeeeeee you are. And I'm secretly the Queen of Sheba."

"You never know."

"Want another drink? I'll pay."

"I'm good, thanks." When he'd gone back over to the bar, I examined the guy he'd been talking about before. He was attempting to pull the girl he'd been grinding on over to the door, but she wasn't playing along, so he got in a huff and stalked off.

What a prick.

Rosalie and Emmet had disappeared (I wasn't sure if I wanted to know where they'd gone), so I scanned the rest of the people in here. It was more interesting than staring at nothing.

That was when I saw her.

I hadn't at first because she looked so different. She was in heels (must have been pretty big, too), and she'd straightened her hair.

I kinda hated the fact that I thought it was a good different.

Damn me and my stupid brain. I was _not _watching the way she moved with the beat. And I totally wasn't mesmerised by oh, I don't know, _everything _about her.

God, I was so screwed. Why couldn't I just be happy with Edward? Fuck, I hadn't thought about him at all recently. I was such a shitty girlfriend. I should really break up with him . . . it wasn't fair to lead him on.

And yet, I didn't want to. Edward was head over heels for me, and I had a feeling that ending things would have a bad effect on him. I didn't want to be the cause of that.

Plus I was a little scared of what I'd do if I was single. I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to act on the feelings I was apparently having for Alice. I hadn't even really accepted them yet.

So there I was, lost in my inner musings, when I saw that Alice wasn't exactly alone. Or was that just some random . . .

No, she wasn't alone. And the person she was with wasn't of the male variety, either. Nope, it was some red-head. A gorgeous, tall, whore of a red-head.

But I wasn't jealous. Not at all.

Especially not when they started dancing slightly . . . suggestively. And I didn't want it to be me. I also didn't want it to be me when they started making out. Nope, totally not jealous.

Ok, so it was making me feel a little sick. Scratch that. I was probably going to throw up if I watched them for much longer.

So, coward that I am, I got up and went to find Jasper. He was at the bar, and the reason why he hadn't come back straight away was 'cause he was talking to some cute guy.

Aha. If I thought he was cute, then I wasn't gay, right? Or maybe I was bi . . . Or maybe it was just Alice.

Or maybe I was just really, _really _confused.

Yeah. That made a hell of a lot of sense.

I didn't go over to him. He looked happier than he had so far tonight, so I went to the opposite side. I still had some of my drink left, so I didn't order another one. Instead, I leaned out of the way of other people and tried to look as if I was waiting for someone so that no-one would speak to me.

It didn't work, though. By the time I'd finished my drink three guys had tried to hit on me, and I'd moved to a different place four times, because someone else was leering at me.

All in all, it wasn't a good night for me.

Jasper was dancing with that guy from before, and Emmet and Rose were _still _nowhere in sight, and I didn't really want to go looking for them. I'd moved myself nearer to the bar so I could order something else when I heard an annoying, high-pitched giggle from behind me.

I turned, partly to show my disgust, partly to identify the person so I could stay well clear in the future, only to come face-to-face with the red-head that had been dancing on Alice before.

And, at her side, the girl causing me so much distress, as of late.

Joy.

I turned back around again, fast, because hey, I'd had enough PDA for one night. Especially from those two. But I could still _hear_.

Which was almost as bad.

I heard Alice whisper something to the other girl, who giggled again (if I slapped her, it was _not _my fault. She was just annoying as hell), and then I heard them kissing.

Seriously. Why don't you just shoot me?

I couldn't move away, either, because I was kind of sandwiched between bodies and the bar. So I just had to put up with it. I didn't realise that one of my hands had curled into a fist until it was my turn to order.

I straightened it out as soon as I realised.

Now _her _and her friend were stood beside me. And she had her hand on random girl's thigh. And they were still whispering to each other.

I didn't care how much of a bad idea killing her was. I wanted to, so badly. The bartender was looking at me as if I was mentally handicapped, so I ordered the first thing that came to my mind.

Vodka shots.

What I said before, about not getting drunk? Yeah, that was until I needed to get out of my head for a while.

I'd regret it in the morning, sure.

But right now?

Right now it was the only thing that was going to stop me from going insane.


	4. Chapter 4

First thing that hit me the next morning was the headache. I felt like my head had been run over by a freight train.

A big freight train.

One that carried bricks.

Then I tried to sit up, and the sickness hit me. I dreaded the pain of running to the bathroom, but it was either that or throw up all over my bed. Which wouldn't be pretty.

Speaking of which, how the hell had I gotten in here?

Yeah, no time to think. Bathroom. Now. Sprinting across a room when you happen to be me is never a good idea, but doing so while hungover and sporting a mega-headache is suicidal.

I fell three times. I don't _think _I broke anything. I'd have to check when the room wasn't spinning.

I didn't throw up on the floor, though. In the bathroom was another story entirely. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I came around I was lying on the floor, sprawled across the tiny room, with my head next to the toilet.

I groaned and pushed myself into a sitting position. I felt like crap. My head was still pounding, and I was starving even though the thought of food was almost enough to make me sick again.

Plus I could remember a thing from last night. The last thing I remembered was Rosalie and Emmet coming back after I'd had my sixth(?) shot. And then Emmet had egged me on to have another one.

Yeah, that was right. God, I hoped I hadn't done anything stupid. Then again, it was me, so I probably had.

Oh, shit. I'd better not have said anything _about _or _involving _Alice. If I had . . . God, I think I'd have to transfer colleges. I'd never be able to look at her again.

Shit, shit, shit.

I needed to find someone who would know . . . Jasper had been drinking, so he probably wouldn't remember. So had Rose. Emmet hadn't, but I didn't know if he'd been around me for long.

Alice. She's been drinking, too. So, hopefully, if I'd said anything to her, she wouldn't remember it.

Please let me be right.

I tried to stand up, but it just made me feel worse so I slumped back to the floor, leaning against the wall and tipping my head back. The cold tiles were helping me to feel a bit better. My head was burning.

I only moved from that position when the door creaked open. I think I'd dozed off again, or was a least getting to that point. Eve poked her head through the gap and stepped inside when she saw that my eyes were open.

"Hey, you're finally awake. Feeling any better?"

"Nope. Still feel like crap." God, my voice sounded almost as bad as that dealer who Alice had been with the other night. Not good. My throat felt like sandpaper, too.

I was never drinking so much again.

Ever.

"Well, you look better than you did when I checked on you before. I brought you this." She handed me a glass of water, which she'd had in the hand on the other side of the door. I took it gratefully and drank most of it in one go.

"You are a Goddess, Eve, thank you."

"No problem. Emmet left me a note saying you'd be feeling pretty bad this morning, and if I could please check on you."

"Oh, God, I'd better let him know that I'm ok . . ."

"Oh, no you don't. I think you'd better stay in here for a bit longer, Bella. It's only eleven, there's plenty of time for you to see him. Right now you don't look well enough to stand up, never mind go traipsing across campus. Are you well enough to go back to bed or do you need to stay in here for a bit longer?"

"Um, I think I'll go back to my room." Trying to show that I _was _feeling ok, I attempted to stand up. I say attempted because I swayed and would have fallen on my ass if Eve hadn't darted across the room to steady me.

"Let me help you, or you're going to hurt yourself." She grabbed my hand all of a sudden and examined it closely. I looked down, curious; to see that I'd grazed the skin pretty badly. From when I'd fallen over before.

I just shouldn't be allowed out of the house.

Ever.

With Eve's help, I managed to navigate my deadly floor more easily, and didn't fall once. She got me some water and left me to change into some different clothes (I was still wearing the ones from last night. Dirtyyyyy. That's all I'm saying), and then I climbed gratefully back under the covers with a contented sigh.

She left me then, and I fell back into a deep sleep easier than I would have thought. At least drinking so much had achieved one thing – my mind was too preoccupied to think about _her _for long.

Mission accomplished.

I couldn't decide whether it was worth it or not.

***

I woke up at three that afternoon, feeling much better than I had before. I grabbed another set of clothes before making my way to the showers. One was much needed. To my relief, once again, there wasn't anyone in there, but I was still quicker than I would have been at home.

But I felt even better now. Scalding hot water tended to do that for me. I glanced at my phone when I got back to my room, to see that I had not one, but twelve missed calls. _Twelve_.

And all but three were from Edward.

I called my dad back first, assured him that my first week had gone fine, that all my classes were great, that I'd met loads of nice kids. And then pretty much repeated that conversation with my mom.

That left Jake and Edward. Tough decision – sometimes they could be just as annoying as each other. I ended up calling Jake back first. He wouldn't shut up for half an hour. That was when I made an excuse about having to work.

I loved him, but they guy could be a pain sometimes. And the hints about how he felt about me were still coming thick and fast. Frustrating. That was the perfect word to describe him.

That left Edward.

I sighed as I pressed the call button, which I knew was a bad sign. I didn't want to talk to him. It was probably cruel of me to string him along, but hey, maybe this Alice thing was just a phase, and soon I'd go back to loving Edward like I had sixth months ago.

Yeah, that was when my feelings towards him changed into something that I was pretty sure was something more platonic.

Ok, there was no excuse. I was cruel. But I just couldn't do that to him.

"Hey! Where've you been, babe? I missed you!"

"Hey, sorry, I've been so busy this week. Work and all that. And I went out last night."

"Really? With who?"

"Your brother and some of his friends."

"Oh. Cool." But it didn't sound like it. He was probably annoyed that I'd had the nerve to go out instead of having late night phone sex with him. What a shame.

"Yeah, it was. His girlfriend's really nice, as well."

"What, Rosalie?"

"You've met her?" I was a little surprised. He hadn't mentioned her before.

"Yeah. She's a bitch. He's only with her because she's hot. And good in bed."

"Have you ever actually had a conversation with her? She's nice, Edward."

"Whatever." Ok, so my better mood from before had totally evaporated. Wasn't speaking to your boyfriend supposed to cheer you up? Not the opposite. God, what was wrong with me?

"Look, I have to go. Speak to you soon."

"Wait, we've barely spoken now! Come on. I'm sorry. You're probably right about Rosalie. I'm sorry."

"Edward, I'm busy. I _have _to go, ok?"

"Fine! But don't plan anything for next week."

"Why?"

"You'll see. Bye, I love you."

"Yeah." Then I hung up. He called me back, but I didn't answer. I just sat there, staring at the phone in my hands for a minute, trying to fight the urge that I had to burst into tears.

I hadn't cried for months.

I hated it – I felt weak whenever I cried. Especially because afterwards I felt stupid about whatever I'd been crying about. I used to cry at anything. But not anymore.

Now though, all I wanted was to curl up in a ball and let the misery have me. I was so confused about everything . . . Alice. Edward. What it all meant for me in the future. Why, if I was gay, I couldn't have picked a better person to fall for.

Like, I don't know. One who didn't hook up with random girls. And one who didn't do drugs.

God, this was all so fucked up.

I needed to talk to someone. And I knew just the person, if he'd sobered up yet, too. I hoped he had, because I really didn't know who else to go to.

***

Jasper wasn't in his dorm when I went over there, so I texted him asking where he was, saying that I needed to talk to him. While I was waiting for him to reply I went for a wander through the grounds, not paying attention to where I was going.

When I next looked up, I was outside the arts department. I felt tears of frustration build in my eyes, and my hands curled themselves into fists again, my nails biting into the already bruised flesh of my palms.

The flash of pain cleared my head.

Luckily, it was about that time that Jasper replied to me.

_Hey, recovered then? __And I'm in the coffee shop, but I know a better place to talk. Meet me here in ten and I'll show you? X_

I sent back a hasty reply before making my way over there. Sure, I'd be early, but some coffee would probably liven me up. I could do with some, too. I opened the door with more hesitance than I usually displayed, conscious of the fat that I was alone and it was busy inside.

Jasper was sat at the same table that we'd been at last time, except he wasn't sitting with Rosalie and Emmet. No, he was with the guy from yesterday. They were sat close together, and weren't looking my way, so they didn't notice me.

After a second, the other guy looked up and saw me standing there, and said something to Jasper, who turned around and motioned for me to come over.

"Hey Bella. I want you to meet Alex." The guy grinned up at me and shook my hand.

"Hey."

"Um, I'm gonna go get some coffee, I'll be back in a sec." I didn't want to interrupt their date (cause I was pretty damn sure that that was what it was), and besides I really _could _do with some coffee.

When I got the drink I cradled it in my hands and wandered slowly back over to Jasper's table. I was sidetracked after a second though – I had seen Eve when I'd first walked past.

"Hey, you. You're looking a lot better."

"Yep. Feel it, too." She introduced me to the other three people sat at her table, and I spoke to them briefly for a few minutes before making my excuses and walking away. But then I spotted Emmet and Rose in the corner, and decided to let them know that I was ok, too.

"Hey, guys."

"Heyyy, Bella. Feel like crap?" Emmet winked at me while Rosalie caught me eye and smiled. She looked a hell of a lot better than me, that was for sure.

"Not so much now. I did this morning though."

"Yeah, you were out of it when we took you home. Had to carry you to your room. You can pay me later, by the way."

"Aw, thanks. I didn't um, do or say anything stupid, did I?" I wasn't sure if I'd get a straight answer out of him, but there was no harm in trying.

"What, you mean like stripping off and dancing on tables?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Emmet! Be serious for once, please."

"I am serious! You got some good moves, Bella. Didn't think you had it in you." Even though I was pretty sure that he was lying, I still blushed the most spectacular shade of crimson. I was going to kill him. I really was.

"Stop torturing the poor girl. You didn't do anything, sweetie. He would have mentioned it to me straight away if you had, don't worry." I threw Rose a grateful smile before sensing someone at my shoulder. I turned around to see Jasper stood behind me, grinning.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

"I could ask _you _the same thing. Who's that guy? Tell me _everything_." Emmet rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's behaviour, but mouthed 'later' to Jasper when she was looking the other way.

"Um, how about no? Bella? You wanted to talk, right? Let's go." He grabbed my arm and pulled me gently away from the table, leaving both of them raging with curiosity.

Jasper led me outside, into the grounds, and onto a path I hadn't been on before. We walked in silence. Me, because, well now that I was here, was actually going to talk about this, I was nothing short of terrified.

Irrational? Very.

Did that make me feel better? No, it did not.

And I think that Jasper sensed the tense and nervous waves rolling off of me, and didn't want to say anything to upset me.

It took us about five minutes to get to where we were going, and when we got there I had no idea that this place even existed. We were standing on the shore of a little lake, surrounded by a ring of trees.

The type of place that you could walk past a thousand times without realising what was on the other side. It was beautiful.

Jasper walked to the side and sat down on the ground, leaning back against one of two boulders. I went and sat against the other one, content to just sit for a while so that I could sort out what I was going to say.

"How did you find this place?" Yeah, so it wasn't the main thing that I wanted to talk about. But it'd help me relax.

"I was just out walking one day, and happened across it. Ever since then I always come here when I need to think. I've never seen anyone else here, so I know that no-one will bother me." He threw a curious glance at me, and I looked away.

"Why did you introduce Alex to the other guys?" I was getting closer . . . I think. Besides, I really _was _interested. Why introduce me to him and not the others? Who he'd known for a lot longer.

"Honestly, I don't know. I want to see how things go first. They get involved more than they should . . . It's just because they want me to be happy, after everything that happened with Jamie. But still. It's suffocating sometimes. And I knew that you wouldn't do that." I have to admit, I was a little flattered that he thought that way about me. Maybe I made better impressions than I firs thought.

"Come on Bella. What do you really want to talk about? I know you didn't ask me so that I could talk about my relationship issues. I told you enough about that last night . . . if you remember. But anyway, something's obviously bothering you."

I'd been fidgeting with one of my hands – pulling grass through my fingers, unable to keep still. His hand came down on top of mine, preventing me from moving it. I looked up, and there was nothing but concern in his eyes.

Concern for me. God, I didn't deserve such amazing people in my life. Ok. I could totally do this.

I think.

"Ok. How . . . when . . . when did you know you were . . . gay?" I hadn't surprised him, which surprised me. Interesting.

"I knew when I was four."

"Four?"

"Yup. I knew then that I never wanted a relationship with a girl other than friendship. I couldn't really explain why I knew that . . . I just did. And I figured out what it meant a couple of years later. And then I met the first guy I had feelings for. I was twelve. And he was definitely straight. But still."

"So you always knew?"

"Yeah. What's this really about?"

"I, um, think I might have feelings for a girl. But I don't know if I do. And I knew that you'd be the best person to talk to . . ."

"It's Alice, inst it? I can tell. The way you talk about her. The way your eyes go straight to her when she walks in the room. I noticed that last night you only started drinking after she was dancing with that girl."

My head whipped up so fast that I ended up smashing it into the boulder behind me. So not going to help my headache. I pressed tentatively at the point of contact – it wasn't bleeding, which was pretty awesome, for me. Jasper was still waiting for me to answer his question, though. I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding in a huge sigh.

He was a _lot _more observant than I gave him credit for.

"Yeah. It is."

There.

I said it.

I admitted it.

I, Isabella Swan, have feelings for none other than:

Mary.

Alice.

Brandon.

…

Fuck.

My.

Life.

**A/N: Sorry this took longer than other updates – college has been an ass lately with the amount of work I've had to do.**

**To everyone who reviewed/favourited/alerted, you are all lovely, amazing people.**

**Thank you.**

**3!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Some .. darker stuff in this chapter. ****Dunno how it turned out … I was going to go another way but decided to do this instead. **

**Let me know if you thought it worked out alright, or if you hated it. **

I ended up staying by the lake with Jasper for two hours. Just talking about everything anything possible. It made me realise that I had, in fact, just been denying the fact that I was attracted to girls.

But I refused to believe that I wasn't attracted to guys anymore, because of _her. _Even though Edward annoyed the shit out of me . . . I still loved him.

I think.

I hope.

Being bi I could deal with. On some level. But gay? From thinking you were straight and then thinking you were gay in the space of a _week_?

Impossible.

I refused to believe that.

But either way, Jasper helped me a lot. And when I returned to my room, I felt more at peace than I had done for a long time. I was unsure about meeting Alice again. Really, really unsure.

We'd talked about her, too. And about how she was all wrong for me. But also about how you can't help who you fall for.

Yeah, we talked about that little statement a lot. So all in all, today had turned out to be better than I would have thought this morning – what with waking up with the hangover and the confusion and whatnot.

Maybe now things would start to get better . . .

One could only hope.

***

The next week passed by quicker than I would have thought. I tried not to think too much about my 'realisation' (as I liked to refer to it) much. Or at all. Jasper didn't talk about it anymore, either. He must have sensed that I didn't want to.

The little thinking I'd done had been about me and Edward. I was starting to realise that I wasn't actually in love with him. But I thought (probably stupidly) that I could continue seeing him.

He wouldn't be able to come down from his college often, so I wouldn't have to see him a lot. I could deal with that. Besides, nothing was ever going to happen between me and _her. _

Ever.

I hadn't seen Alice again, that week.

Not even the briefest of glances as she walked by me. It was like she'd disappeared off the face of the earth. Or just the college campus. Either way, she wasn't around.

But the most frustrating thing was that I _wanted _to see her.

I wanted to see if there was anything different about how I looked at her, after I knew that I wasn't straight. I wanted to know if I was still attracted to her.

But most of all I just wanted to see her because I wanted her to notice me. Pathetic, right? But even so, I found myself looking up whenever I saw a flash of short black hair.

Or when someone who was smaller than me with black hair walked by. I just couldn't seem to stop myself from checking to see if it was her.

I'm pretty sure Jasper noticed my behaviour. But, bless him, he never commented on it. If any of my other friends noticed, they didn't say.

I was going out tonight, whether anyone would go with me or not. I needed a distraction from … from whatever I felt towards _her._ But I didn't really want to go out and get pissed again.

Sure, it'd make me forget, but I'd feel the effects in the morning … again.

I asked around Friday afternoon, but nobody was free. Emmet and Rose were having a 'night in' (I didn't want to know any other details), while Jasper and Alex were going on their first official date. They asked me along, but I didn't want to wreck it for them. And I didn't want to be a third wheel, either.

So I decided to go to one of the student bars on campus. Yes, I'd be alone. But I doubted I'd run into _her_. Plus, I could do with meeting some new people.

I dressed in a black and white dress that stopped mid-thigh, paired with black heels. They added a _tiny _bit more height, but I wouldn't fall over in them. I curled my hair and put on a little makeup, and was almost ready to go when I heard a knock on the door.

Confused, I didn't answer it. Everyone I knew was out, including Eve. But then they knocked again, and again, so I decided to open it before they hammered the door down.

I pulled the door open, already irritated, but I stopped short when I saw who was on the other side.

It was Edward.

And he was holding God knows how many roses in his hands. Red, too. He was smiling, and his green eyes were filled with nothing but love and adoration. For me.

I was struck by the urge to slam the door in his face. My hand _actually _twitched on the doorframe. But I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile, too.

"Hello, beautiful." He stepped forward and kissed me. I barely even made the effort to return it, but he didn't notice. He noticed when I stepped back when he tried to deepen it, though.

He looked confused, but shook it off.

Ok. I thought that I could continue a relationship with him. But I really, really couldn't.

I felt absolutely nothing for him.

That hit me hard, and I had to go and sit down.

He followed me, shutting the door behind him. It closed with a loud click. For some reason that sounded foreboding to me.

"Have you got something to put these in?" I'd been looking at the floor, so it shocked me when Edward's voice sounded close to my ear. I looked up, and he looked worried, now.

Which he probably should.

"Um, yeah, I'll go find something." He followed me to the kitchen, and after I'd put the roses in a vase and filled it with water, his hands were on me.

He kissed me again, pressing me back into the kitchen counter, one hand at me waist and the other trailing lazily up my leg. And under my dress.

I pulled back so fast that I nearly smashed my head on one of the cupboards behind me. He looked angry, now, and I had to think quickly of something to say before he got even more pissed off.

"Sorry, but I was planning on going out … and I don't want to get carried away." He seemed to look satisfied with that answer, and I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He stepped back and grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the other room.

"Where were you going?"

"Just to one of the student bars."

"Oh, cool. I'll come with you." I didn't want him to, that was the last thing I wanted, but I couldn't tell him no.

I'd let him have this night with me, before I broke up with him. Just one night. I could deal with that.

I think.

So that was how I ended up leaning against the bar, bored out of my mind, while Edward was getting lorded over by most of the girls in there.

He thought I was jealous.

But to be honest, I was a little jealous of _him. _

I needed help.

And I also needed to break up with him.

As soon as I could.

Getting his attention was impossible, though, and I was half tempted to just walk out of there. But I stayed. I was going in five minutes, though, if he didn't drag his ass back over here.

So there I was, minding my own business, when I felt, more than heard someone behind me. Sure enough, I turned around and there she was.

She was wearing a skirt shorter than the last time she'd been out, and a top even tighter. She was smirking, and God, I could deny that I didn't want her.

Because I really, really did.

I nearly made a fool out of myself, but I refrained. Barely. I didn't say anything, and neither did she. We just stood there, kind of lost in each other.

Well, I was lost in her. Not too sure about the other way around.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Her voice was different, tonight. It was lower, more sultry than it had been at the library. More seductive.

Then I realised why she here. She was looking for someone to take home with her. But she wasn't going to get to me that easily.

Sure, I wanted her like that.

But I didn't want to be the same as every other girl who she'd fucked and left. If I was going to be with her, it wasn't just going to be for one night. I wasn't settling for anything else.

So instead, I let out the breath I hadn't known I'd been holding and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"No, thank you." I saw surprise slicker across her face, and felt a brief flash of triumph at the fact that I'd done something that she hadn't expected.

Obviously Alice Brandon wasn't used to being refused.

She opened her mouth to say something else, and moved a step closer. Then she stopped, looking annoyed. I didn't have a chance to wonder why, because a second later I felt Edward's arm slide across my waist.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I was relieved that he hadn't kissed my lips. Alice was still there, but instead of focusing her gaze on me she was glaring at Edward with undisguised hatred.

Guess she wanted me quite a lot, too.

Her eyes lifted to mine again, and she raised an eyebrow. It was a clear invitation for me to leave Edward and go with her. Instead of doing what I wanted to do and follow her to wherever she wanted to go, I did the opposite.

I shook me head, only slightly, but I know that she saw. She looked at me in plain disbelief, but still didn't seem to get the message. So, even though I didn't really want to, I leaned further back into Edward's arms and leaned back to capture his lips with my own.

When I broke the kiss, she was gone.

***

I let Edward have his fun for a few more hours. He was a good guy, and he deserved that much, at least. I even danced with him a couple of times. But that wasn't influenced by the fact that _she _was still there.

I could feel her eyes on me on more than one occasion, and had to fight the urge to look around for her. That would tip her off to the fact that I _did _want her, and I couldn't have her thinking that.

Otherwise she'd be relentless, I could tell. And I could barely resist her as it is. So whenever I felt someone watching me, I'd just look at Edward.

But eventually I'd had enough, and I told him that we had to leave. He followed me out, his hand twined with me own.

I waited until we were in sight of my dorm before I pulled him to a stop. He looked down, confused, and leaned down to kiss me again.

This time I stepped back, pulling my hand from his grasp.

"Ok, Bella, what's the matter? You were like this before, and then you were fine. What is _up _with you?" He was annoyed again, but this time I didn't care.

"I don't think we should see each other any more." My words hung in the silence between us, and he just stared at me, clearly not thinking I was serious.

"What? Bella, come on. That's not funny. Don't joke around like that." He laughed, but it sounded nervous. I couldn't think of any way to get through to him apart from repeating it, again and again.

This was going to be a long night.

"I'm not joking, Edward. I don't want to see you anymore. I don't have feelings for you anymore."

"Stop lying to me. You love me. We're meant to be together." I had thought that he would start getting upset round about now, but no. He was just getting more and more furious, and I took a step back in response to what I saw burning behind his eyes.

"No, Edward. I don't. I'm sorry – I thought I could be with you, but I can't. I love you, but I'm not _in _love with you. I don't think I ever was."

"_Stop playing around! You're lying! You love me, you have to love me!" _I was worried that the volume of his voice would attract unwanted attention, and I nearly told him to quieten down.

But then I saw the fury still written in his face. Maybe having other people around wouldn't be such a bad thing. I didn't think Edward would hurt me, but he did _not _look happy …

"Edward, I'm sorry."

"_Stop saying that! _You're _not _sorry. If you were sorry then you wouldn't be saying this. I can't believe … I was going to ask you to marry me, Bella." I was the one who was stunned, now.

Marriage? He knew my views on that. Especially so long. Hell, he knew my _mother's _views on that. But then he started fishing in the pocket of his jeans, and he brought out a tiny velvet box. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even move.

"But now I see how naive I was. You were just using me, weren't you? You have no idea how many other girls would _love _to be with me. But no, I thought I had the most perfect girlfriend in the world. Now I see how well that turned out."

He laughed again, but this time it was bitter. His eyes were hard and accusatory when he looked at me again.

"It's not your fault, Edward. I'm sorry. You deserve better."

"Yes, I fucking do. I see that now, but that doesn't mean that I can jut not have feelings for you, does it? God, I was so stupid. I can't believe I fell in love with someone like you."

"I said I was sorry, ok? You haven't been the best boyfriend in the world, either!" One thing you should know about me – never, _ever _get me annoyed. I can go from nice to pissed off in about the space of two seconds. But I knew as soon as I said that that it was the wrong thing to do.

"What? I've been _perfect _to you. And you just throw it all back at me. Who's the other guy? I'll fucking _kill him before he touches you._" He's stepped closer, now, and his eyes were even more dangerous than before.

"There's no-one else!" I tried to step backwards, but he followed me, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to him. I was pressed against him, now and I didn't like it.

I didn't like what he'd become.

"Sure about that? I bet you've already fucked him, haven't you? Seeing as you don't give a fuck about me anymore. Well, I'll show you."

"Edward, what are you - " But my voice was cut off when he shook me, hard enough for my head to spin. Then his hands were gripping my hips, holding me in place.

There was something foreign in his eyes, something I'd never seen before and never wanted to see again, and I couldn't stop myself screaming for help. But he slapped me.

Now I was defiantly seeing stars.

I tried to fight back, because I did _not _want him anywhere near me, and I had an awful feeling that I knew what he was going to do next.

And I didn't know if I'd be able to stand it.

So I fought back, and managed to free myself. Then I turned to run away, but he caught my ankle, sending me sprawling to the ground.

Then he rolled me over and was on top of me, his legs holding my arms down.

"Edward, please."

"Please what, Bella? I know you want this really. You'll understand soon enough. You're _mine, _you see. And no-one else can have what's mine." I felt his hands on my skin then, under my dress, where they'd been before.

And I couldn't do _anything._

I was completely helpless, and he knew it.

So I closed my eyes, and I tried as hard as I could to think that I was somewhere else. That this was just a horrible dream and that I'd wake up and everything would be fine.

I still had my eyes closed, so I didn't know that there was someone else around until I felt Edward's weight above me disappear, and then heard his grunt of pain.

When I opened my eyes, there was another person stood in-between me and him. It didn't take me long to realise who it was – it was Alice, and she was _furious. _Even though I couldn't see her face, it rolled off her in waves.

Edward scrambled to his feet, and I could almost see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to think of an explanation.

"It's not what it looks like, I swear. She likes it roug - " She punched him, again, but this time he stayed on his feet. Then she kicked him between the legs, and he fell to his knees.

"Get the _hell _out of here before I start screaming for help." He managed to stand up and stumble away, and then Alice was beside me. She helped me into a sitting position, her hands warm on my now freezing body.

She shrugged off her coat and draped it around my shoulders. I was shaking, and I couldn't control it at all. One of her hands moved across one side of my face gently, and I winced when she touched where he'd hit me.

"That's probably going to bruise." She was so close that I could feel her breath on my lips, and regardless of what had happened, I was aware of how easy it would be to close the little distance between us.

"I'll cover it up." My voice was stronger than I would have expected, and I couldn't resist shifting slightly so that I was a little bit closer to her. She smelled better than I would have thought someone could, and I started breathing a little heavier without even realising it.

"You need to get back to your room, Bella. Come on, I'll help you." It was only later that I remembered that I had never told her my name before. But I didn't object as she helped me stand, her hands around me in case I fell.

Why had everyone said she was so bad again?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok, since all you lovely people asked me to update quickly, I decided to listen for once ;D**

**Helps that I've had a week and a half off college, too. But there you go.**

**(Don't own the song. Wouldn't complain if I did, though. It is rather awesome.)**

When I woke up the next morning it took me a second to remember why my face felt like it had that time I'd been hit in the face with a dodge ball. Then everything from the previous night flooded back.

I shivered, drawing the duvet closer around me instinctively.

I remembered everything, but I tried to block out what had happened before Alice arrived. At least now I didn't feel guilty for breaking up with him. And I didn't have to worry about him anymore.

Hopefully I'd never see him again.

I wasn't going to tell anyone what had almost happened. I knew that already. And I also knew that Alice wouldn't tell anyone, either.

The details of what had happened after Alice had brought me back here were hazy. I couldn't recall specific details. But I was pretty sure I hadn't done anything stupid.

I glanced in the mirror when I woke up, and was horrified by what I saw. One side of my face was a stunning shade of purple, and my eye was a little swollen. I was glad that that asshole would probably have a worse looking face this morning.

I wasn't sure if I could cover it easily, but I'd try my best. I needed a shower first, though. I could still feel him clinging to my skin.

It was five in the morning.

I could have only slept for a handful of hours. Then I remembered why I had woken up – my dreams had been filled with the sense of being followed, of dark alleyways and screams of desperation.

I shivered again and grabbed the first clothes that I touched from my wardrobe, and then my bag if toiletries. I crept down the hallway to the showers, trying to be as silent as possible.

The last thing I wanted was to wake someone up and be asked about my face.

But when I got the showers, I realised quickly that there was already someone in them.

It had two doors – one that led from the doorway and into a smaller room which had a couple of changing rooms and lockers and such (I wasn't sure why anyone would use them, but there were still there), and then there was a second door leading into the room that held the actual showers.

And there was steam rising from the tiny gap between this door and the floor. I paused, uncertain of what to do.

I didn't want anyone seeing me, but I desperately needed to wash the memories of last night off me, so to speak.

So I opened the door slightly, trying to gage how many people were currently in there, and whether there was enough steam so that I wouldn't be noticed in the first place.

That was how I heard the singing.

It was Alice, of course – no-one else had such a beautiful voice. The voice of an angel, that was the perfect way the describe it. And once again, she was singing with more emotion than most other people Id heard in the past.

It was a different song than the last time I'd heard her.

_Glass is sprayed across the floor, from the broken window_

_She can't breathe anymore, can't deny what we know_

_They're gonna find you, just believe_

_You're not a person, you're a disease_

_All these lives that you've been taking, deep inside my heart is breaking_

_Broken home from separation, don't you know it's violation? _

I didn't know what to do. After all, it was _Alice _who was in there – the only girl around who I actually wanted to have sex with.

And she was in here, and she seemed alone.

And she was (presumably, anyway) naked.

_Fuck. _

I hadn't ever considered her being in here before – I hadn't even known that she was in the same building as me, never mind on the same _floor_. But evidently, she was.

Taking a deep breath, I shoved the door open, hard enough so that it would hit the doorframe and make a loud-ish noise. The singing stopped abruptly, and I kept my eyes down as I made my way to the shower closest to me.

She didn't start singing again, and after a few more minutes of pure _torture _I heard the water shut off.

Ok, so I'd told myself that I didn't want just a one-time thing with her. But _God _I was itching to go into the stall a few doors down. I knew she wouldn't mind – she'd shown that from last night.

I didn't know if I could trust myself if she stayed in here much longer – I felt an overwhelming need to be close to her, to touch her, to kiss her, to throw her against the tiled walls and –

_Fuck, Bella. __No. Think about something else. _

Only I couldn't. I was breathing heavier than normal, and I hadn't even turned the water on, I'd been that preoccupied. I did so, then, hastily, desperate for something to keep my mind off the things I wanted to do to Alice.

She was still there – she was humming, I could just hear her over the sound of running water – and I hoped desperately that she was nearly done.

I stripped off my clothes quickly, and felt nothing but relief when I heard the other shower turn off, followed by soft footsteps. Then saw her feet pass my stall, the door opening and a blast of cold air rushing in.

I let out a breath and rested my head on the wall, the temperature of the tiles cooling my overheated skin almost immediately. So obviously I couldn't ignore what I felt for her. I'd tried, and it had failed.

Miserably.

But I couldn't pursue anything with her, either – she didn't exactly seem like the type to 'do' relationships. I'd thought about sleeping with her … but then I'd want to do it again. And as far as I knew, she only allowed one night.

So, that was out, too.

There wasn't really much else I could do, short of telling her I was falling for her and then scaring her off. But I didn't want to do that. Because regardless of what other people said about her, I believed that there was something else to her.

Something which no-one else knew, because she wouldn't let them close enough.

But I wanted to be that person. I might be able to survive if I could at least be her friend, someone who she could confide in. Besides, I had no other option.

And I didn't know if I could stand her not being in my life in some way.

Again, I _know _it's pathetic. I really do. But I can't help it. If I could, then I would _never _have these feelings for her. Because I still wasn't sure if she was really worth the trouble.

But apparently my heart thought she was.

As soon as I was feeling better, I shut off the water and pulled on the clothes I'd brought with me. I'd been in the showers for nearly an hour – it was now approaching six.

I didn't want to try and sleep again – the nightmares would probably come back – but I couldn't do anything else aside from sit around and feel sorry for myself. No-one else would be awake (apart from _her _and I'm not even going to list why that is a bad idea), and nowhere would be open, either.

So I climbed back into bed, not bothering to get changed again because I was sure that I wouldn't sleep for long. Then I shut off the light and closed my eyes, hoping that when I woke up I'd be able to put everything behind me …

***

I woke up at eight. At first, I thought it was eight in the evening, and was glad that I'd managed to get some sleep, but was wondering what I was going to do for the rest of the night.

Then I saw how light it was outside.

It _was _eight o' clock. Except it was _Sunday_ morning. I'd slept for a whole day. I was starving, so I went and made myself some breakfast, and while I was waiting for it to cook I went and got changed.

I examined my face in the mirror – it was still purple, but it wasn't as bad as it had been. I should be able to cover it up pretty easily.

Something leather caught my eye, reflected back at me – and when I turned around I saw that it was Alice's jacket. She hadn't taken it back with her. I picked it up – it still smelled like her – so I put it on.

I guess some people would say that that was weird. But whatever. It wasn't hurting anyone – _she _was the one who'd left it behind.

After I'd finished eating and was just lounging around my room, attempting to read a book, someone knocked on the door. I had a brief flashback of the last time that had happened, but shook it off quickly. I took the jacket off on my way over – no need for there to be awkward questions.

It wouldn't be Edward. He wasn't that stupid. And anyway, even if it was, I'd shut the door in his face and scream until he went away, or someone else arrived.

I didn't want to tell anyone what he'd almost done to me, but if he came near me again I wasn't just going to pretend that nothing happened.

I opened the door slowly, but it wasn't Edward. It was Alice, and I was immediately glad that I'd taken the jacket off – because, really, how creepy and stalker-like would I have seemed if I'd still been wearing it?

The answer was very.

She looked a little nervous, but I couldn't tell why. Maybe she didn't think that she should be here. I didn't even know _why _she was here. And I hadn't even said anything to her yet.

I'm such an idiot.

"Alice. Hey, come on in." I stepped back, allowing her inside, and she walked over the threshold tentatively, as if she was unsure whether she should be here or not.

I went and sat on the sofa that I had – the only other place available to sit was my bed. And I did _not _trust myself to be sat on a bed with her. She sat down next to me, folding her legs under her body and clasping her hands around her knees. She still looked nervous – it was emotion that I wasn't used to seeing on her face.

"How are you? I stopped by yesterday, but you didn't answer." Her voice was getting softer and softer each time I spoke to her. I was tempted to lean closer to her, claiming that I couldn't hear what she was saying – but I managed to stop myself just in time.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I only woke up about an hour ago – I slept all of yesterday. And I'm … I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. But I could be worse."

"Well, that's good." She cast her eyes around the room, a slightly desperate air to the way they were darting around. I wondered again why that was.

Did she not know how to act around me? Because if she didn't then that was a good sign. I think.

"I have your jacket over there, I'll get it for you."

"No, no. You can keep it, I've got loads." I'd been about to stand up, and she'd grabbed my wrist to stop me. This wasn't helping my mind at all – it was now occupied with thoughts about _other _places her hands could be …

And this was _not _helping.

I sat down again, trying not to let my breathing be affected by her now even closer proximity she was in. Not to mention the fact that she was touching me. Sure, it was in a friendly way, but still.

It was progress.

She dropped her hand after a few seconds, apparently remembering that there was no need for it to be there, and straight away, I missed the contact.

"Ok." I sounded like a retard. Yet I couldn't think of anything else to say. I could barely think straight around her in the first place, never mind when were very, _very _alone.

"Well, I suppose I'd better get going. I just wanted to check that you were alright. I'll see you around, Bella." I remembered, then – I hadn't ever told her my name. So, me being the idiot that I am, I asked her.

"Wait! How do you know my name? I never told you." She turned around to face me, and that smirk was back again. It was probably one of the sexiest things that I'd ever seen anyone do.

"Didn't you?" Then, just like that, she was gone. Through the door without saying anything else. And I was left there, wondering what the _hell _I was going to do about Mary Alice Brandon.

***

Jasper invited me to meet him and Rosalie and Emmet later that day. It was still pretty early, so when I got to the coffee shop (where else would we go?) there weren't many people in there.

I found them, easily enough. They were sat in their usual table, each holding a cup of whatever they liked to drink. I went and ordered a hot chocolate – I wasn't really a coffee kind of girl – before joining them.

"Hey, Bella. Where were you yesterday?" That was Rose. When I glanced across at her I saw her eyes regarding my face carefully. Damn it – I hoped I'd put my makeup on well enough to fool her. Otherwise I was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

"Honestly, I was sleeping. I woke up at five yesterday morning, went back to sleep an hour later, and woke up today at eight." Emmet laughed at that. He had one of those laughs that made other people look around – deep, loud and booming.

"Nice one. Why were you so tired?" Jasper, speaking from left, was looking at me appraisingly.

"Um, I was just … I had a long week of classes." He didn't look convinced. Why was I such a crappy liar?

_Why? _

"Oh, Bells, did Edward find you Friday? I thought he was staying the weekend?" I felt a spasm of panic and fear when I heard his name – irrational, but apparently unavoidable.

Jasper was looking even more concerned, now.

"Um, yeah, he did." It was probably better to be as honest as I could be without worrying them.

"So, where is he?" Emmet just wasn't one to give up.

"I don't know." I was probably being a little short with my answers, but I couldn't help it.

"What?"

"I … I broke up with him." Ok, now I had everybody's attention. Emmet was looking at me with disbelief, Rose with a little bit of concern, and Jasper with a knowing expression.

"Wow, Bells, what brought that on? Not that I'm not glad – he wasn't good for you. But still … two years? What happened?" I drank some of my hot chocolate so that I could formulate answer that was half-true.

"I just … couldn't be with him anymore. I don't have the feelings for him that I used to." Jasper was still giving me that knowing look, and trying to catch my eye. I met his gaze, and in answer to his raised eyebrows, I nodded. He grinned and I felt his hand squeeze my knee gently under the table.

I wish I'd had friends like Jasper back in Forks.

Emmet seemed satisfied with my answer, and went back to talking about football, or something similar. I wasn't really listening – my mind was elsewhere.

I didn't hear the door open, but I did notice when a head of spiky black hair walked past. Trying not to be obvious, I raised my head just enough to check.

Sure enough, it was her. But she wasn't alone. I didn't know the girl she was with – guess I'd been right in thinking that she only did one night stands.

This girl wasn't as pretty as the others I'd seen her with, and it looked like she didn't care what she looked like. I had the feeling that I wouldn't have liked her even if she wasn't trailing behind the object of my affection.

But she was, so I despised her by default.

So, Alice had been to check if I was ok this morning, then gone for an early-morning coffee with some random girl. There'd probably been an early morning fuck thrown in there, too.

I sighed, barely audible, but I knew that Jasper heard me. I saw him throw me a sharp look before glancing around. He must have seen her, because I heard him sigh, too. Then, he bent his head so he could whisper to me without the others noticing.

"She's not worth it, Bella."

"I know. Doesn't mean I can turn off what I feel for her." I needed to get out of there, then, because they'd sat down just a few tables away from us, and I couldn't stand it.

I don't remember what excuse I mumbled to the other two – and even though they looked concerned, they didn't follow me.

Jasper did, though. And he didn't go away when I told him to. He just walked with me, never saying anything. He was just … there.

And he was there when I started to cry.

He didn't even ask why – he just held me and let me wreck his shirt with my tears.


	7. Chapter 7

"Bella." I snapped out of the daydream I'd been having when I heard someone say my name from just a few metres in front of me. Glancing up, I saw my lecturer standing in front of my desk, a slight look of concern on her face.

That was when I realised that I was only one left in the room.

God, I can be such a retard sometimes.

"I am so sorry. I completely spaced for a sec there."

"Bella, are you ok? There isn't … anything bothering you, is there?" Yeah, actually there is. Just the fact that apparently I'm questioning my sexuality, all over a girl who I haven't got a hope in hell of being with.

Just the usual.

If it had been anyone else, I would have been pretty pissed that someone was asking me personal stuff when they didn't even know me. Especially when it was an authority figure. I didn't really appreciate it, and I could (and had been, in the past) be pretty rude about the whole thing.

However, Ms. Whatever-her-name-was (I have a lot of teachers names to memorise, give me a break), was, without a doubt, the hottest I had. By far. So I didn't get annoyed, but I didn't exactly answer her, either.

"Um, yeah, I'm ok. Just, y'know, new setting and all." I tried to fake a smile, but I don't know if it worked. I was a shitty liar.

"As long as you're sure. Hey, would you mind doing me a favour?"

"Um, sure, I guess. I don't have anything next, so …"

"Will you take this to Mr Hart please? He teaches in the arts department, do you know where that is?" Well, fuck. Of _course _I know where that is. I wanted to back out – I didn't know if _she _would be there – but I'd already said yes.

Why did I have to be such a sucker for hot girls?

"Sure." I fought back a sigh when she handed me the slip of paper and made my way out of the class. I was at the other end of the campus, and my dorm was halfway between where I was now and where I needed to go, so I decided to drop my stuff off first.

Then I made my way back outside. The weather had warmed up considerably in the last week, and it was a nice day.

I hadn't seen _her _since the 'incident' in the coffee shop, and even though on some level I was glad that I hadn't, there was still part of me that _ached _to see her again. I didn't know how to stop it, and I hated it as much as I wanted it.

I had been hoping that maybe it'd go away. But I knew that it wouldn't, no matter how hard I wished it would. So I was stuck, unable to change anything, with only one person to confide in.

Jasper was great, he really was, but I couldn't just go to him every time I had a little tiny problem. I couldn't burden him all the time – I just wasn't like that.

I preferred to deal with stuff like this on my own.

So even when I was surrounded by people, my _friends_, I felt, in a way, more alone that I had felt my whole life.

And the year had barely started.

I tried not to let myself get too preoccupied wit thoughts like that, because they did nothing but make me feel melancholy, and usually that brought other people down, too.

So I kept them to myself, until I was alone.

I'd lost count of the amount of times I'd cried myself to sleep.

I was had to stop with my inner musings when I reached the door of the arts building. I had no idea where I was going, and I didn't even know what Mr Hart _looked _like, but I strolled right in like I knew what I was doing.

As you've probably guessed by now, I don't like asking for help.

Seeing as I didn't have anything else to do, I wondered around the first floor before going onto the second. Some of the doors had signs on them, and I tried not to look too obvious when I paused beside each one.

The receptionist was giving me the eye when I went up to the third floor, but I still wasn't having any luck.

I wasn't paying attention as I was walking up the stairs, so I didn't realise that there was someone coming the opposite way until it was too late. I'd just reached the final step when I felt someone crash into me, and I would have gone tumbling backwards if they hadn't have caught my arm to steady me.

I already knew who it was – as weird (and maybe stalkerish) as it was, I'd recognised the scent. And the hands that were still holding me were sending _far _too much of a current through my body for them to belong to anyone else.

Alice.

She was looking at me with slight concern in her eyes, and I stepped back as quickly as I could because she was far, _far _too close. I could feel her breath on my face, and it was driving me insane, making it _so _tempting to just lean forward those few inches.

But I stopped myself, and I stepped away.

After a second, she released her hold on me. Just like the last time, I missed her touch immediately.

"Bella, are you ok? What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for someone."

"Who?"

"Um, Mr Hart. You know where he is?"

"Yeah, I just came from his lesson, but he's teaching now. Why do you need him?"

"I'm supposed to give him this." I waved the note in the air between us, feeling like an idiot straight away.

"Well, you can put it in his office, if you want. I was headed that way, I could show you, if you wanted."

I wanted to say no. I was still hurt after what had happened last time we'd spoken. Or rather, what had happened _afterwards_. It was stupid to be upset over that, I know – but I could help it.

She was … she was like an addiction.

_My _addiction.

And I didn't have a fucking clue how to make it go away.

And even if I did, I wasn't sure that I'd be able to stay away from her. That was how much power she had over me, and I'd had a conversation with her ... God, I don't even know. Less than five times.

But I couldn't voice the words to say that I could find my way on my own – I'd nodded without even realising, and then she was making her way back down the stairs, and I was following close behind.

She led me back down the corridor where I'd been on that first day – the first time I'd seen her, and the first time I'd heard her sing. She took me past that room, further along that I'd gone myself before, until she paused outside of an unremarkable door.

It was dark wood, and a tiny golden plaque sat in the centre, reading _Office of Mr. A. Hart. _She pushed open the door and motioned for me to go inside. I dropped the slip onto the already cluttered desk, and then back out again.

She was watching me, and the look in her eyes was … well, a little scary. I didn't know what it meant, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to, either.

"So, Bella. I haven't seen you around for a while. Are you still ok? After … after the other week?"

"Yep." She didn't looked fazed by my short answer – in fact, it just seemed to make her more determined to get a conversation out of me. But I didn't want to get any deeper into this than I already was – I didn't know if I could handle that just yet.

It was all so new.

"Good. All your classes ok?"

"Yep."

"What's the matter? Not in a talkative mood?" She was smirking when I was brave enough to turn to face her, and _God _she was too beautiful to be true.

"No, I've had a bad day." Which wasn't exactly a lie – but then again, recently, _every _dayhad been bad.

"Oh, really? Why's that?"

"It just … has." She'd come to a standstill again, and this time she was outside that room again. She pushed the door open without asking me anything else, and walked inside. She grabbed a guitar case from the corner and unzipped it carefully.

She pulled it out of the case and then set it on one of the long tables lining two of the four walls of the room. She didn't turn around, but I knew that she knew I was watching her.

And I appreciated the view.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't, because, really – how could I not? She was … well, prefect. She had the perfect everything – hair, eyes, body proportions, legs … ass (not that I was looking. I _totally _wasn't, I swear), just everything.

So not fair.

I could understand how she got all the girls – I imagined that even the straightest would consider a night with Alice, just to see what it's be like.

I had considered, in the beginning, if I was the same – if it had _just _been Alice, out of the female persuasion, that I liked. But it wasn't. I knew that much now, and the signs were obvious.

I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it earlier.

I couldn't believe that _others _hadn't noticed it earlier.

And now I was beginning to question whether I was even into guys at all anymore. Or if I had ever been in the first place – I mean, my feelings for Edward had been platonic for as long as I could remember, but I was only just beginning to see that.

I didn't dwell on stuff like that for too long. It confused me too much. I figured that I didn't need to label myself anything until I started telling people, and even then it would only be because it'd be easier calling myself gay than having a long-winded explanation.

Because 'yeah I didn't realise until I came to college and met this drop dead gorgeous girl that I even had _feelings _for girls, and then I broke up with my boyfriend and totally don't know if I ever even loved him in the first place' just didn't sound as simple.

When she finally turned around, I was just about ready to go, and I think she could tell. But then she started walking towards me, and there was that … _thing _in her eyes again, and right now I was terrified of it.

I stepped back as she brushed past me, and she smirked as she did so, a challenge written on her face now.

"See you around, Bella." She whispered my name as she passed by name, and I swear, I was about two seconds from following her down that hall. Because I knew what would happen if I did.

I knew that look. I'd seen it on Edward before, and that was why I'd recognised it. Probably why it'd made me back away, too.

Because it was the I'm-horny-so-fuck-me look. And sex with Edward had never been … well, pleasant. Poor guy just didn't have a clue what to do. I was amazed, that first time, that he'd even knew where to put it.

And I'd seen it on _her _before. That time in the club, when she'd been looking for a cheap fuck and had stumbled upon me.

So I knew that if I followed Alice, she'd lead me to a bathroom stall or _something _and she'd fuck me.

But I didn't want that.

Well, I did. In fact, my body was screaming for me to take just that first step after her, and the rest would follow.

But I couldn't. I didn't just want to be another notch on Alice's bedpost. I didn't want to be just another hook-up.

Now, I know I've said it before, but if I ever, _ever _(no matter how small the chance may be), had a shot at being with her, it wouldn't just be for sex.

I still wasn't at the point where I'd lower myself to that, regardless of how much I cared for her. I wasn't a slut, and I never would be. That was the one promise I'd made to myself.

So if we ever had anything, it would be a _relationship_. And if I went after her now, I would destroy that chance. So I forced myself to turn in the opposite direction and walked away.

I was positive that she would be confused about why I hadn't gone after her. I know that I sure would be, if the roles were reversed. I'd denied her once, and I was doing it again.

I just had to hope that she wouldn't want to try harder with me, just because I was more of a challenge.

Because I didn't want that, either.

I could barely restrain myself now – God knows what I'd end up doing if she tried more. Those eyes … _fuck. _I wanted to drown in them, and neverresurface.

But at least for a few hours, I was safe. And I had the weekend to look forward to –I was being dragged along on a shopping trip with Rose, Emmet and Jasper.

I hated shopping, but I wanted to go for the distraction I'd have, being around other people. Plus, they were bound to be able to cheer me up.

Today had been awful, but tomorrow would be better.

***

"Oh my God! Bella, you should totally try this on!" I had never, in my entire life, seen a _guy _get as excited by shopping as Jasper did.

Ever.

Not even Rosalie could match him – and even though she promised me he wasn't usually as enthusiastic, I was pretty sure that he was pretty much the same.

I, on the other hand, was not amused by the display. I didn't like trying on clothes. I bought shit in my size, and if it didn't fit when I got home, then I took it back.

Simple.

You would have thought, that after the first, I don't know, _ten _stores, that he would have caught on. But, evidently not. Emmet looked just as uncomfortable, and Rose decided to spare the both if us just a few moments later.

"Hey, Bella, Em – why don't you go and find somewhere for us to eat? We'll meet up with you in a few." I smiled my relief, while Emmet kissed her on the cheek, before we went to go find somewhere.

I didn't have a clue where we were, so I let Emmet lead the way, telling him to go wherever had nice food. We ended up sat in a little café. We went to one of the tables that were outside of the actual building – I liked being out in the open.

Besides, I like to people-watch.

Or y'know hot-girl watch.

I didn't really care, either way.

"So, Bells. Heard from my brother lately?" Emmet's voice startled me out of my inner thoughts, and I looked over at him sharply. There was something in his voice that I didn't like, but I couldn't pin what it was.

"No."

"Right. Why?" I had to refrain from what I _wanted _to say, which was 'because I never want to see or hear from that motherfucking asshole ever again', and instead went for a vague answer.

"I … I just don't want to."

"Ok." I didn't know what Emmet had discovered for him to be asking me stuff about Edward again, because we hadn't said anything recently. I sighed and looked away from his curious gaze.

One of the waitresses here was … well, she was pretty fucking adorable. But, as my luck would have it, she wasn't serving us. So I had to make do with observing from a distance, which was perfectly fine by me.

"Bella …"

"Yeah?" I didn't turn away from the girl because, damn, she'd dropped something and that skirt couldn't ride up much further and … wait, was someone talking to me?

"You are _totally _checking that girl out!" I whipped my head around then, and Emmet was staring at me with a triumphant look in his eyes.

"I … was _not_!"

"Yeah you were! Oh my God, is that why you broke up with Edward? It _is _isn't it?!"

"God, shut up will you? Please."

"Answer the question!"

"I broke up with Edward because he was an asshole." It wasn't a lie. Wasn't the whole truth, either, but so sue me.

"But …"

"But what?"

"You were staring at her ass." He inclined his head towards the waitress, who was now walking away. I couldn't stop my eyes from following her, yet again.

"And again!"

_Dammit._

"I was … admiring her clothes." Again, it technically wasn't a lie. That skirt … wait Bella. Focus. _Focus_.

"Like fuck you were. You don't give a shit about clothes, you just proved that. Or, maybe you were admiring how her clothes rode up when she bent over so it's like she's not wearing anything at all. Yeah, bet that's it …" he trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows at me. And I blushed, because evidently I just _had _to give myself away.

Fuck.

It wasn't that I was bothered about Emmet knowing, I just … it was barely something that I was accepting myself, and having other people know … I don't know.

It was just a little too weird for me.

"_So_ not true."

"Bells, come on. It's fine, alright? Just be honest with me, please? You can tell me anything, I'd never judge you, about _anything. _You know that, right?"

"I …"

"Hey guys! You haven't ordered, have you?" _OhthankyousweetJesus. _Saved by Rosalie. Gotta love that girl.

Emmet threw me a look that said we clearly weren't done, and I sighed, before I threw myself into a conversation with Jasper. Probably with a little bit _too _much enthusiasm, because he shot me a worried look.

Not that I cared. I was of the hook, for now.

Later on, well …

I had a feeling that that would be a different story. 


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: It's me again. ****:) But I have some bad news … This is gonna be my last update for a while, I think. See, I have these little things called exams, and if I want to stand a **_**chance **_**of getting into the Uni I want, I have to give up my life for the next few weeks so I get my A's. **

**On the plus side, when I come back I'll be able to post more quickly, 'cause I wont have college work to do. :D**

**So here it is. More interaction time for you. :) **

"Bella, what are you doing here?" Oh, fuck me. I'd crept in here to try and avoid seeing _her _and she'd stumbled upon me easily. Why me? Seriously.

"Hey, Alice." I turned around, forcing a smile on my face. She was behind me, that guitar in her hand again.

Let me explain.

I used to play piano when I was a kid. And then I stopped when I got a bit older – it just didn't interest me anymore. Then the other day, Eve told me that they did lessons over in the Arts department for those who wanted to learn an instrument.

So I went for lessons again.

And I swear, when I joined up for this, I had _no _intention of seeing her whenever I came for a lesson. In fact, this was my third one, and I hadn't seen her once.

Guess my luck had finally run out.

"Hey. How's it going?" She leaned against the wall, dropping the guitar to the floor and leaning it against one of her legs. One of her hands went to her hip and she looked up at me through those fucking _smouldering _eyes.

I didn't stand a chance.

"Fine. How are you?"

"Great. So, what're you doing here?"

"I'm taking lessons. Piano."

"Wow, you play? Any good?"

"I _used _to be. Not so good anymore, though." It was just too fucking easy to fall into a conversation with her. She was so … approachable. At least, she was to _me. _I didn't know about anyone else.

In fact, I don't think I've ever seen her talk to someone who she wasn't hoping to hop into bed with.

Interesting.

"Show me." It wasn't a command, but she made it sound dirtier than it should have been – fuck knows how, she just did.

"What?" It was more of a squeak than I anticipated, and judging by the gorgeous smirk that flitted across her face, she noticed.

"Show me something. Play me something. Please." She gave me one of those pleading looks before she grabbed my hand and pulled me after her.

I swear, it was like an electric shock going up my arm. I think every nerve was on edge, and I loved it more than I should have. She stepped off into a different room than the one we'd been in before.

It had a piano against the far wall, and she led me over to it, pushing me into the seat before I could protest. I sighed when she let go of me, but if she heard she didn't comment.

"Go on." She leaned against the side of the piano, her eyes appraising me speculatively. I had no idea what to play, but I'd just been doing Evanescence, so I decided to just go for it.

_My Immortal_ was my favourite, so I played that. To my surprise, she started singing. I think I stopped breathing – her voice was even more beautiful this close.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

_Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When I'd finished, I just kind of stared at her in wonder for a while, because _damn _that girl is good. She blushed slightly and looked away after a few seconds of holding my gaze.

Well, that was a first.

I tried not to seem _too _victorious about this progress, because it was more than I had ever even dreamed of getting.

"You're really good."

"And you're not? Fuck Bella, I had no idea you'd be that amazing." Now it was _my _turn to blush, and my favorite smirk was back on her face.

"Yeah, well. It's been a while."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"How long have you been singing?"

"I don't know. A while." She looked away from me then, biting her lip, as if she was unsure of what to say to me. I sighed. I should go – I was in dangerous waters, being alone here with her.

So I stood up, and she turned to face me again, curiosity in those blue eyes that I loved so much.

Wait.

Loved?

Where the _hell_ did that come from?

Well, I'd think about that later, because Alice had just stepped closer to me, and I was sure that I could feel the heat from her body radiating to mine.

So I back up a step.

And another.

And then I felt the wall against my back.

Shit.

"What's the matter, Bella?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just … I have to go." I turned and was halfway to the door when I heard her call out to me.

"Wait! What are you doing this weekend?"

"I have plans. Sorry." I turned to go then, but not before I saw something flash across her face and through her eyes.

It looked like disappointment.

"So, I'll meet you guys outside Jasper's dorm at nine?" It was Friday, and myself, Jasper, Emmet and Rose had decided that it was time for us to go out again. I didn't know if Alex was going too, but part of me kinda wished he wasn't.

I didn't want to be the fifth wheel.

I was heading back to my room, and I thought I heard someone following me. So I turned my head, oblivious to the fact that someone was walking the other way, and smashed straight into them.

"Oh, fuck, I am so sorry." We'd both ended up on the floor, but the other person had sprang back to their feet before I'd even realized what had happened.

"We have _got_ to stop meeting like this." Alice, of course. Who else could I have collided with? No-one, apparently. I must really be hated by the big guy upstairs.

"Yeah, sorry. I have, like, no balance." I took her outstretched hand, and held onto it for longer than I probably should have. She smiled softly at me before pulling her hand back and stepping to the side of me.

"See you around, Bella." I noticed something lying on the floor where she must have landed, and called back to her.

"Hey, Alice, wait! You dropped your …" I froze, looking at what was on the floor. I picked it up gingerly. "Coke."

She was back beside me in an instant, and I was suddenly furious.

"What the hell is this?" I waved the bag in front of her face, and she tried to snatch it away from me. I didn't let her, though. I stepped backwards, but she followed, and she was closer than she'd ever been before.

But I was too pissed off to register that.

"What does it fucking look like, Bella?" She was annoyed, too – and as far as I was concerned, she had no right to be. Me, on the otherhand …

"Why, Alice? Why do you do this to yourself? It fucks you up … It wrecks your brain … Why? What _good _can it possibly do?" Even though I'd seen her buy drugs from that dealer an ages ago, I guess I still hadn't registered it.

I sure did now, though.

"I'm already fucked up, Bella. This wont change much, believe me."

"No, you're not fucked up. Not you."

"You'd be surprised. And I … I use them for a reason. Not just to get high, ok? I shouldn't even be having this conversation with you. You wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, you're right. I _don't _understand. So please, give me a little help here?"

"Why do you care so much?" She had me stumped for a second then. I couldn't tell her why I cared – that would just … mess things up so much.

"Because I do, alright?"

"You shouldn't. You should leave me alone, Bella. I … I shouldn't be around you. I can't … I'll end up hurting you, sooner or later. And I don't … I don't _want _to." The last part was barely a whisper, but I heard it.

And I stopped breathing.

Did that mean that on some level, some deep, dark, possibly twisted level, that she cared about me?

It must do.

But I couldn't think about that right now, as much as I wanted to.

"Stop using them, Alice. Please. They're no good for you." She laughed then, and it was more bitter than I would have thought she would have been able to manage.

That shocked me more than everything else that had transpired today.

"I can't, Bella. I'm not addicted, before you go down that road. I could stop whenever I want, in theory. But they wouldn't go away for long."

"What wouldn't?"

She shook her head, apparently decided that she'd said enough for one day.

"Alice. What wouldn't go away? Please, give me something here."

But again, she said nothing. I stepped closer, and she stepped away. Wow. I hadn't seen that one coming.

"Alice …" It was my last shot. I never pleaded with people, but her? I'd do anything for her already, as fucked up as that was.

I was pretty damn sure that I was more fucked up than she was right now.

She didn't answer me again, though.

She just turned and walked away, without a backward glance.

She just left me standing there.

I was in a bad mood when I got back to my room. I was beyond pissed. I'd been tempted to just throw the coke in the nearest trash can, but that would probably get more attention than it should.

Instead, when I got in I emptied the bad down the toilet, then threw the bag away after I'd washed it with water. Call me paranoid, but I was being careful. I didn't want anyone thinking that _I _was on drugs.

When I met up with the others I was still in a mood. Jasper sensed it right away, I was sure, but he didn't comment. After a few surly answers to Emmet and Rose's questions, they gave up talking to me, too.

We went to the same bar that we went to the first time. There were more people than the last time, too – we struggled to find an empty table.

Even though I'd sworn not to drink again, I ordered a vodka and coke. Yeah, I know I shouldn't. But honestly, I'd had a shitty day, and it would be fine by me if I could forget it.

Alex _had _come along, so I did end up being the fifth wheel. I went to dance after a few minutes of sitting there with the other two couples, deciding that even if I made a fool out of myself, it would be more painless.

After a few minutes, I felt someone in front of me, swaying to the beat of the music a little more suggestively than they should have been. I'd had my eyes closed, but I already had my suspicions about who it was before I opened them.

Yup, it was her.

Alice, of course.

She didn't say anything to me, and I turned away from her, facing someone I didn't know.

I felt her hands grab my waist and spin me back around, so I was pressed against her even more than I had been at first. I tried to back away, but it was so tightly packed that I couldn't move.

"I'm sorry. About before – I was a jerk, Bella. I don't want you to think badly of me." She was wearing heels, so it wasn't as much distance as it would have been for her to lean up so her lips were at my ear.

I shivered at the feeling of her hot breath on my skin, and there was no way that she couldn't have noticed, from how close we were dancing. Yeah, we were still doing that, but the song was slower now so we didn't have to move much.

"It's … it's ok."

"No, it's not. I'm so sorry I acted that way."

"I can't hear you properly." She sighed, and I had to bite back a moan at the sensations flowing through me. Then she'd grabbed my hand and was pushing her way back through the sea of bodies, pulling me with her.

She led me outside, and the cool air did wonders for my now severely overheated skin. I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding when we were outside.

Then I realized something.

We were perfectly alone out here.

I swallowed, hard. Please, please, _please _let her keep her hands to herself.

I was well aware how quickly this could go wrong.

"Let me start again. I should have never spoken to you like that, Bella. Please forgive me."

"You're forgiven."

"And I … I'll quit the drugs."

"What?"

"I shouldn't still be using them – you're right. I just … I needed someone to point it out to me."

"I can't be the first one, Alice."

"No, but you're the first one who I actually care-" She stopped, abruptly. I had a feeling she was going to say 'Who I actually care about', but I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Too much.

"So that's it? One word from me and you're quitting? Just like that?"

"Yes. I told you – I was never addicted. They were just … an escape."

"Oh, is that what the one night stands with pretty much ever girl you see is, too?"

"I … It was. It used to be. Now … not so much."

"Why?"

She didn't answer, so I let it go. I know I probably should have pushed her for one, but last time I'd done that she'd walked away. I didn't want her to leave just yet.

"Ok. An escape from what?"

"That's a story for another night."

"A whole story, huh?"

"I told you. I'm fucked up. There's a story behind that, yeah. And it doesn't exactly have a happy ending. I mean, look at me." Then, to my utter and complete disbelief, she started _crying._

Mary Alice Brandon.

Crying.

In front of me.

And I didn't have a fucking clue what to do.

"Alice, please don't cry." I stepped forwards, closing whatever space there had been between us and enveloping her in a hug.

"I hate crying." She pulled away after a few minutes, and even with her makeup a little smeared and with her eyes all blotchy, she was still fucking gorgeous.

Not that I was going to tell her that.

"Wanna go back inside? It's kind of cold out here." I was done with my questioning for today – and when she wanted to tell me her story, no, _if _she wanted to tell me her story, then I'd be here.

Because I was pretty fucking sure that I'd be hung up on Alice for a long time.

She smiled gratefully at me, and it was a smile I hadn't seen from her before. But it seemed, to me, at least, as cheesy as it is, to be the type of smile that could light up the whole room.

Yeah – I had it bad.

But now, things weren't looking so bad.

Because maybe, just maybe, we were getting somewhere.

I was pretty sure that the guys would be worrying where I'd gone, but when I got back inside I saw Jasper and Alex making out at our table, while Emmet and Rose were grinding on each other on the dancefloor. I sighed, and Alice looked over at me curiously.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Just … I … Never mind."

"Your friends all paired up?"

"How did you …"

"I have a confession – I was watching you when you were sat over there. Since you came in, as a matter of fact. You didn't look happy. I figured it was because of what I'd said, that I'd upset you, but you still sound upset, so I'm guessing it's that."

"Wow. You really _are _good at reading people, aren't you?"

"The best." She smiled that smile again, and once again, my breath caught for a few seconds.

"I can see that."

"Can I buy you a drink? Just one, I promise."

"Hmm. As long as you promise to keep your hands to yourself, too." I said it teasingly, even though I didn't really want her to agree.

"Spoil my fun," she murmured dramatically, before she led me over to the bar. She ordered some complicated sounding thing for herself before she ordered a vodka and coke for me. I gave her a look.

"What?"

"Stalker."

"You wish." Oh, if only you knew, Alice. If only you knew.

"I do _not._"

"Sure you don't." She handed me my drink and after seeing that there were no tables free, we went to stand against one of the walls, away from where most of the people were gathered on the dancefloor.

I saw her watching me, out of the corner of my eye, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

She didn't comment on it.

"See anything you like?" Her voice was teasing once again, but I sensed something simmering beneath the surface.

"Maybe."

"Cryptic, huh?"

"That's me. What about you?"

"I'm not one for cryptic-ness myself, no."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." She laughed then, and yeah, definately my favorite sound in the world.

"Yeah, but I don't stand a chance." She caught my eye as she said it, and I was caught up in her, totally and completely.

"What? You? You can have anyone you want." I didn't believe her for a second. Surely there was no-one who wouldn't want her. I was feeling a little jealous, too.

Because there was no way in hell that she would think of _me _that way.

"You'd be surprised."

"Bella! What are you doing with her? Come dance with me." Rosalie had come to drag me back to reality. She shot Alice a dirty look, which there was no way that she couldn't have seen, before she took hold of my wrist and dragged me away.

I threw Alice an apologetic look over my shoulder before I lost sight of her in the mass of people. She waved at me before she disappeared.

I refused to dance with Rose, so we went back to the table. Rosalie didn't tell the others who I'd been with, but I was sure that she was going to question me later.

Alice reappeared after a few minutes, leaning against the wall again, but this time she was closer to where I was sat. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time, and eventually I gave up trying to force my gaze not to stray towards her.

She gave me her trademark smirk when our eyes met. That would _never _get old. I looked away from her and looked back every few minutes, and she was still there whenever I glanced up.

I saw three girls go up to her while I was watching. Each time, I expected her to go with them to do God knows what.

And each time, she shook her head and refused to let them drag her anywhere.

She caught my eye one more time and waved at me, a clear indication that she was leaving.

And I was pretty sure that it was the first time in a long while that Alice Brandon had left that club _alone._

My night ended considerably better than it had started.


	9. Chapter 9

"Ok, Bella. I want to know – what were you doing with Alice last night? Please, please, _please _tell me that she isn't fucking with your head." I'd managed to avoid Rosalie when we'd come home last night, but apparently she'd not consumed enough alcohol to make her forget the events from the previous evening.

Just my luck, really.

"We were just talking, Rose."

"Yeah, that's how it starts, Bella. Trust me. She's no good – you'd be better of staying away from her."

"Look, I can take care of myself, ok?"

"No, I don't think you can. No-one can, Bella, when it comes to her. Just … listen to me, just this once. Please." She looked genuinely worried about me.

"I don't know if I can." I wasn't looking at her when I said it, and my voice was certainly near silent, so I don't know if she heard me right.

But I heard her sigh, and then I felt her fingers under my chin to tilt my head so I was facing her.

"Ok. Do what you want. Just … be careful, ok? Promise me that, at least."

"I will." She smiled and hugged me, and then she bit her lip, obviously wanting to say something else. I could guess what it would be about – I doubted Emmet's ability to not speculate.

I _had _flat out refused to confirm my sexuality every single time he'd asked me.

Which had been a lot.

I just … well, I'd really wanted to make sure.

"What? There's clearly something you're not telling me. What's Emmet said?" She looked more surprised than I expected her to – clearly, she hadn't thought that I'd guess what was on her mind.

"Well … you know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yep."

"And there's nothing …"

"Nope." She sighed, and I fought back a smirk. I _was _going to tell her, but it would be better if I told her and Emmet together.

Besides, it was fun to make them wonder.

"I'll head out then. You got any plans for today?" I knew what that meant. She was checking that I wasn't going anywhere with Alice, I was sure.

"No – I was going to go practice some more. I've been learning some more songs."

"Cool. Anything I know?"

"I doubt it." I laughed. Rose was more into dance music than rock – which was practically my religion. I'd actually attempted to learn guitar when I was in my early teens, but it had been a disastrous escapade.

I hadn't tried again.

"Alright. I'll see you soon, then." We hadn't made any plans, but it was a given that I'd come across her sometime.

"Bye." After she'd left I went and cleaned myself up before I pulled on some clothes and made my way over the Arts department. I didn't meet another soul on my way over – I guessed it was too early on a Saturday morning for people to be out.

I never thought I'd be an early riser.

I heard someone playing the second I pushed open the doors – the building was otherwise silent so it wasn't hard to make out.

And I knew who it was immediately.

I didn't, as I might have at another time, interrupt her playing. Instead, I made my way over to the room Alice had showed me last time.

The piano in there was way better than the crappy old one they had upstairs.

I stayed there for about an hour, going over songs I already knew, and then trying the new ones, which were harder than anything I'd attempted before. It'd been 'suggested' by my teacher that it's be good for me to do some singing.

But considering I sounded like a cat being strangled, I decided that if I ever had to do anything that had to have someone's voice on it, I was going to force Alice to sing for me.

Because really, there just wasn't anyone better.

Once again, I had no idea what songs she was playing in the brief seconds I stopped to have a break.

If she knew I was there, she didn't show it.

I couldn't nail one of the bars of one of my new favorite songs – _Never Say Never _– and it was annoying me.

I was so absorbed in trying to get it right that I didn't notice someone else on thein the room until I glanced up and nearly had a heart attack when I saw _her_ not three feet away from me, her eyes considerably brighter than I'd seen them before.

I hoped that that wasn't a result of anything … well, illegal.

"Having fun?" There was a playful edge to her voice – something I had never heard from her before. This version of Alice was something that I could easily get used to.

Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing I didn't know.

I couldn't help flashing back to what Rosalie had said earlier. What if this _was_ just some ploy? What if she didn't really care, but she was just trying a different tactic to get me into bed with her?

I had to shake those off before they could take hold.

I didn't want to think like that, but it was unavoidable, really. Especially after everything. She couldn't change so quickly, could she?

But I really, really hoped she could.

I decided that I would just have to see what happened – but my dilemma was whether I should think the best or worse of her.

But I guess that decision was already made.

"No. I can't get this right."

"Want some help?"

"You play?" But _of course _she did – just one of the many talents of Alice Brandon, I was sure.

"Yeah, I do." As she spoke, she nudged me over so that she could sit beside me on the bench. I tried to ignore the way my heart rate sped up when she touched me, and tried to make my voice sound as normal as I possibly could.

"Anything you can't do? Musically wise."

"Ummmm, I'm not a fan of violin."

"But can you play it?"

"Not very well …"

"But you still do! Jesus. You're a musical genius. Figures."

"What figures?"

"Well, you're perfect, aren't you? Being talented is just the icing on the cake, I guess." I hadn't actually _meant _to call her perfect.

Hell, I'd never wanted her to know that I thought that about her. But too late to take it back. I swear I saw her blush before she answered me.

"Bella, I'm far from perfect, believe me."

"I don't, though. That's the thing." She was quite close to me now, because she'd moved to help me out. And I thought I was staring at her with a little bit too much intensity.

That was, until I saw her looking back with even more.

There was so much tension in that room that it was becoming hard to breathe, and I was positive that it was affecting her, too. I actually saw her breath quicken.

But that wasn't because I could see her chest rising and falling out of the corner of my eye.

Why would I be looking there?

"You should believe me, Bella. You should."

"Prove me wrong."

"I don't want to."

"Why?" I thought she wasn't going to answer. There was certainly a long pause before she eventually did.

"Because … I don't want to scare you off." She looking away as soon as she said it, and I was sure it was because she feared I'd reject her.

This was a whole different side to Alice.

One that I was sure I would never be able to get enough of.

"I'm not going anywhere." Her head whipped back around so her eyes could lock with mine once again, and I was pretty sure I had a challenge written in mine. I don't know how long we stayed like that.

I was only aware of her.

We could have been there for years, for all I cared.

"Do you still want me to help you?" I'd completely forgotten her offer – and everything else that had been on my mind.

"What?"

"With the song." She sounded amused, now. Probably regretting revealing so much to an utter imbecile.

Because I was pretty damn sure that was what I sounded like.

"Oh, um, if you don't mind." In an instant, she was stood again, leaning over so that she cut put her hands over mine to guide me through what I couldn't seem to manage.

She laced her fingers with my own, and I think I just about died a little then.

And it wasn't just me.

I could hear her unsteady breathing in my ear, and I _felt _her shiver slightly when her skin touched mine.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all.

"Which part can't you do?" Her whispering in my ear was so much hotter now that it had been at the club last night. Maybe because now we were truly alone. Maybe because there was so much unsaid between us.

Or maybe it was because of all the goddamned sexual tension that seemed to be floating around.

Either way, I wasn't really complaining.

I told her which part, and managed to keep my breathing pretty steady, considering the circumstances.

"See, here's were you go wrong. It's _F _not _G_." She did it right, her fingers still laced with mine, three times before she let go of me.

I considered doing it wrong just to get more contact between us, but I knew she'd see straight through me.

"See, you can do it. Now go from the beginning." Even though she'd released my hands she was still stood in the same position, and it was almost painful – she was so close but we weren't actually touching.

I decided to cheat a little.

I moved a little restlessly, giving the pretense that my muscles were protesting to being sat in the same position for so long. Which caused me to 'accidently' brush against her as I stretched.

And just as I suspected, her breathing stopped for a split second before it started up again, more ragged than before.

"Only if you sing." I turned my head to regard her, and nearly froze at how close her lips were to my own.

Less than a centimeter.

Her eyes were even more amazing close up. Darker than I'd first thought (or maybe (I hoped), that had to do with my close proximity), and there was more than one shade of blue in there, but they all mixed together to give that colour that was so freaking gorgeous.

I'd always been a sucker for nice eyes.

Yeah, maybe I am a little weird.

"Deal." She was close enough that I felt her breath brush across my lips when she spoke, and the temptation was greater than it had ever been.

But I steeled myself, and I turned away, playing the song from the beginning. I couldn't wait to hear her sing it – like I said, it was my new favorite song, and I was sure her singing it would make it even better.

_Some things, we don't talk about_

_Rather do without, just hold the smile_

_Falling, in and out of love_

_Ashamed and proud of, all the while_

_You can never say never_

_While we know when_

_But time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before_

_Don't let me go _

_Don't let me go_

_We're pulling apart and coming together_

_Again and again_

_Don't let me go_

_Don't le me go_

When we'd finished, I just sat there, not really wanting to move. I could still hear Alice behind me – she hadn't moved, even whilst she was singing. So her voice had been softer than I'd heard it before, and damn, it was even better like that.

Her breathing was a little heavier than it had been before, and I could feel her breaths on the back of my neck.

It made me wish that we'd been doing something else to make her breathe that hard.

Which, I realize, is not the best of thought to have when you're supposed to be behaving yourself.

I felt, rather than saw, Alice come and sit beside me on the bench I again. I'd forgotten that I'd moved away before, so I shuffled to the side again.

It was an automatic reaction.

One that I wished I hadn't had.

_Especially_ when I underestimated how long the bench was, and nearly fell off the end.

I say nearly, because _of course_ Alice realizes what's happening and catches hold of me so I don't fall.

But one of her hands falls on my waist to steady me, while the other has hold of one of my arms, her fingers gentle on my skin.

My shirt rode up during this whole process, so her hand is on the bare skin just above my hip, and it's nearly enough to drive me insane. I fight to stop my eyes from flickering shut at the contact, and try to stop a moan from slipping past my lips.

I was electrically aware of everywhere her skin touched mine, and every nerve ending in my body was on fire with how close she was. That urge to kiss her was back again, and this time, I didn't think I had the will to fight it.

She doesn't let go, even when I've moved so I'm not going to fall.

"You ok?"

"Yep. Told you – no balance."

She laughed, and God, I think I'm in heaven. She's looking at my eyes again, and then she's moved a little closer to me, the hand that had been at my waist moving to the piano to steady herself.

"You know, you have captivating eyes, Bella. I could get lost in them all day." She's so close that again, I can feel her breath on my lips. But this time, I don't have the strength to move away.

Because, God, I know she wants to kiss me.

Hell, I know she's _going _to kiss me.

And there's nothing I want more.

"Really? Because I think the same thing about you." My voice, whereas hers was soft and alluring, is _way _more breathy than I intended it to be.

Damn her and her ability to make me lose it.

"How … peculiar."

By then she's mere millimeters away from me, and now I can't stop my eyes flickering closed. They do it automatically, knowing what's coming.

And then I'm in the sweetest heaven there has _ever _been.

She captures my lips with her own and there is _nothing _that I have ever felt like it. I've never kissed anyone but Edward – lame, I know, but hey, at least I'm not a slut.

The comparison between the two was comical.

Her lips were soft as velvet as they moved against mine, and one of my hands immediately went to run through her hair, bringing her closer to me. Hers move back down to my waist, and one of her fingers draws absent-minded shapes on my bare skin.

I feel her tongue brush lightly against my lips, and a soft groan escapes her when I part them slightly. She pulls back, just a little, and I bite her bottom lip softly. Then her lips are on me again, and this time, the kiss is hotter than before, more fierce, more _desperate. _

Unexpectedly, one of her hands brushes against my thigh, causing a soft gasp to escape me and for a growing need to start awakening as our tongues touched and battled for dominance of the kiss.

She won, surprise surprise, but I was content to just twist my hands tighter in her hair and bring her closer to me.

I could feel most of her pressed against me, and _fuck _I wanted more.

No.

I _needed _more.

One of my hands trailed its way from her hair and down her side, to the base of the shirt she was wearing.

I toyed with it for a second before I let my fingers slide under the thin material, running gently over her silky skin.

Someone walking down the hall outside the room we were in brought me crashing back to reality, and it was like having a bucket of water thrown over me.

What was I doing?

I was getting carried away, which was _exactly _what I'd wanted to avoid. I'd wanted to take things _slow_, to check that she _had _actually changed, but here I was, acting like every other girl she'd fucked before.

I pulled away from Alice and scrambled backwards.

She didn't try to stop me, sensing the change in my mood. She looked confused, which I guess she had a right to. I had, after all, been fairly responsive not five seconds ago.

But I couldn't it.

I just couldn't.

Not like this.

I left her, sitting in the same position on that bench, without a backwards glance.

She didn't call after me.

**A/N:**

**Hi there! I'm back, and intend to me from now on. Exams are over *happy dance*, and I have three months before college starts back up again. **

**Next chapter will be up in a few days, I imagine. And yes, Bella will come to her senses soon. But I couldn't just get them together without any complications, could I? *evil grin***

**So, things will look up soon. Like … after the next chapter. But until then, let me know what you think! **

**:D**


	10. Chapter 10

I started crying as soon as I was out of that building.

Why?

Well, let's see, shall we?

Yes, I'd been kissed by the most perfect creature on the planet, something which I'd wanted to happen since I'd first laid my eyes on her.

But …

I had neverwanted it to happen like that. Sure, she'd admitted that she had feelings for me.

Pretty much.

I think.

But, even so. I shouldn't have let myself get so … carried away. Because really, right now, what was I to her? Just like any other girl that threw themselves at her.

And even if she _did _have feelings for me – how quickly could that change?

Very.

So I walked away.

It wasn't easy, believe me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my entire life. Harder than resisting her, even.

And I couldn't look back, because if I did, then I would see the confusion (and quite possibly pain) in her eyes, and I would falter.

And my efforts would have all been for nothing.

I'd been getting through to her – and that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted some guarantee before I was involved with her. If not a relationship, then that the promise we could _try _for one, and that she wouldn't still be going around fucking random girls when I wasn't looking.

Because even though it looked like she'd stopped all that, what proof was there, really?

None.

So I walked away.

I needed time to think, and I couldn't do that overshadowed by her. And I couldn't exactly _explain _it to her, either – because even I didn't know what the fuck was going through my head.

I got back to my room without incident –I didn't see another soul.

I crawled back into bed and hoped that the tears would stop falling soon. They didn't seem to want to, though.

When Eve poked her head around the door an hour later, I was still bawling like a baby.

It would be fucking great if you could control your tear ducts, wouldn't it?

Sadly, I couldn't, and it took her about five seconds to realize something was wrong, even in the dim light.

"Bella? What's up?"

"Nothing." I sniffed, frantically dabbing at my eyes, because she was making her way over to me and I could probably squirm my way out of this without an explanation if I didn't look _too _bad.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"I'll be fine."

"If you say so …" She didn't look convinced, though. I tried to smile, but I wasn't sure if it looked genuine. I doubted it.

"Ok, so there's a party going down tonight, at my friend Dawn's place. She has a bigger room, so it's there. You're invited and you can bring whatever friends you want."

"Sounds cool. What's the occasion?" A party sounded like the prefect distraction for me. And I was pretty damn sure that Alice wouldn't be invited.

"There isn't one. Well, apart from the fact that we scored a load of alcohol." I laughed. Yeah, this would be the perfect set up.

Ok, I know that drinking isn't the best way to get rid of my problems. And it doesn't actually get rid of them at all, but still. It helps a little.

"Awesome. How many people can I bring?"

"As many as you want."

"What time?"

"Starts at ten. It's over on the other side of campus." She told me the dorm, and it was one I'd never even heard of. "If you want, I can show you the way, if none of the people you bring know where they're going. Just text me."

"Will do. Thanks Eve."

"Make sure you come, Bella. You look like you could sue some fun."

"I'll be there. I promise." I _think _this smile was a little better. Eve certainly looked happier than she had when she'd first seen me. That had to be a good sign, right?

I ended up being able to round up all three of the guys – and Alex came to, of course. Rosalie knew where she was going, so I didn't need to text Eve.

There were already a few people there, including Eve and a few others I knew from my classes. I smiled and waved, as was appropriate, before finding myself the strongest drink I could find.

Jasper threw me a worried glance when I downed it. It wasn't my fault – I'd _thought _no-one was watching me.

Oh well.

Rosalie dragged me off to dance, then, because Eve had said something to her – I'd seen them talking in whispers before, and I presumed that she'd mentioned what I'd been like before.

Sure enough, after a few seconds she started with the questions.

"Eve said you looked upset before."

"It was nothing. Hormones."

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to, but that's what happened ok? Can we drop it please?" She didn't look appeased, but she _did _move to a different topic, which I was grateful for.

After two more songs, Emmet walked over to us, and taking Rose's arm in one of his and mine in the other, he proceeded to pull us over to an adjoining room.

"Where are we going?"

"They're playing a game in here – I've never. We should all play." I'd heard of that game before, but I hadn't played it – and I was sure that it involved alcohol.

Huh.

Kill two birds with one stone – get pissed out of my mind so I could forget about _her, and _not draw attention to that fact. And make Emmet happy by actually playing.

Jasper and Alex were already sat down when we went in. I went next to them, and Rose and Emmet went on my other side. There were a few other people there (including Eve), but I hardly knew any of them – and those I _did _know were from sight only.

"Ok, so here's how we play. We go around the circle, and each person thinks of a statement. But it has to start with 'I've never'. So, for example, I could say 'I've never kissed anyone in this room.' Alright?"

Everyone nodded, and I started thinking of something to say quick, because I _hated _having the spotlight on me.

With a passion.

"Ok, so if you _have _done whatever it was – so if you _have _kissed someone in this room – you do a shot. If you haven't, then you don't do anything. Everyone got that? And you can't lie. Whatever is said in here can't go outside of here – got it?"

We all nodded again. There were about eight shot glasses in the centre of the circle, and four vodka bottles next to them. Well, at least we weren't going to run out.

"So, who wants to go first?"

"I will." Emmet was giving me a look, and I knew for a fact that I was going to kill him for whatever he said next.

"I've never kissed a member of the same sex."

Yep, I was going to kill him.

I really was.

Jasper and Alex smirked and both leaned forward to get their shots – and so, to my surprise, did Rosalie. With a sigh I tried not to be obvious about it, but every one of my friends turned to regard me.

Emmet and Rose were both smirking, Eve looked a little bit shocked, and Jasper was looking at me with disbelief written across his features.

Ok, so I wasn't going to get out of this one later.

And I was pretty sure that I was going to be off my head by the time we were done here.

Rosalie was next, then it would be me. I already knew what I was going to say – unless she stole it. Somehow, I didn't think she would.

"I've never had sex outside." Both her and Emmet drank (but I already knew they would), and then, after a brief hesitation, so did Alex. I smirked at him, but Jasper looked the other way.

Ok, my go. I couldn't ask the one I was going to, because it was close to Rose's. So, even though it hit a little close to home, I said it anyway.

"I've never taken _illegal _drugs."

"Rose!"

"_What? _It was one time, ok? I was young." She was the person I was the most shocked at. I didn't know anyone else that drank, apart from Emmet – and I already knew about that because he had told me last summer.

By the end of the night, I'd lost count of how many shots I'd had. I was going to regret this in the morning, I was sure, but I wasn't really too bothered then.

At least I'd exceeded in what I'd wanted to do.

We had to stop after a while (after we'd gone through three of the bottles, I might add), because someone had too much and nearly threw up everywhere.

I tried to remember which ones I'd drank on – because I was positive that there were going to be questions tomorrow.

Ok, so there's been that first one. Then there'd been one about thinking a teacher was hot. There was an 'I've never faked it' (of course I had to drink on that one – Edward wasn't well … good. At all.) Emmet had given me an amused look at that one.

Hmm, there'd been others, I was sure.

Because I wasn't this far gone on only three shots.

Wait, there'd been some stupid ones. Like 'I've never been drunk.' _Everyone _had to drink on that one – and by then most of us already were anyway.

Yeah, I couldn't remember the other ones, but I was sure that I'd find out what I'd done in the morning.

There is _nothing _more funny (especially when you're part of it yourself) than trying to watch a room full of people try to stand up after they'd downed however much vodka.

It is _the _most amusing thing ever.

I have no idea what time we left, but it was whenever Alex decided that we'd all had enough – he was the most sober, and he took it upon himself to make sure that me and Jasper (Rose and Emmet weren't interested), got back to our dorms without falling in a ditch somewhere.

The next morning was … better than the last time I'd been hungover. At least now my head didn't feel like it was going to explode.

I still didn't feel at my best, though.

It was ten, and I decided to risk the showers, because I needed to wake myself up slightly. There was no-one there, and I stayed in there for what felt like hours.

I guess I still wasn't ready to face the consequences of what had happened yesterday. It was stupid to think that by not venturing outside my room I could pretend that it never happened, but hey, I was in a stupid mood.

But when I got back to my room, Jasper was sitting in it, flicking through one of my magazines. He glanced up when I came through the door.

"What the hell are you doing? You can't just knock like a normal person?" Luckily, instead of opting to dash across the hall in a towel, I'd taken clothes with me.

Otherwise this situation would have been considerably more awkward.

"I did. No-one answered." He didn't sound as bad as I'd felt when I'd woken up. Lucky bastard.

"So you let yourself in?" I wasn't really annoyed (I probably would have done the same thing), but I was stalling.

If I could distract him enough, maybe he wouldn't start asking questions.

"What else was I supposed to do?" This was good – friendly banter was definitely _not _talking about what had gotten revealed last night.

"Walk away and come back later? Like a _normal _person?" I went into the tiny kitchen to make myself something hot to drink.

"But you had to come back sometime." Apparently he'd followed me in.

"If you do this in the future I will laugh when you get shot by someone who thinks you're an intruder." I leaned against one of the counters, and he stood across from me, his arms folded across his chest.

I wasn't fooling him.

"As if that would ever happen."

"Then I'll do it myself. Just to teach you a lesson."

"And get arrested?"

"Didn't say I'd aim to kill."

"Aw, how nice."

"That's me. A model citizen."

"Bella. You know why I'm here."

"Do I?" I grabbed my mug and made my way back into the other room. I heard his footsteps behind me and sighed inwardly.

Maybe if I made a break for it …

Nah, he's catch up with me. The guy was quicker than he looked. Besides, I'd probably fall and crack my skull open or something.

Just another day in the life of Bella Swan.

"Yeah, you do. So tell me – when did you kiss another girl?" He threw himself onto the couch next to me, his eyes bright with interest.

I couldn't tell him.

Or could I?

"Oh, I don't know. About … seven hours before that party?" _Now _I had his attention. Joy.

"What? Who was it?"

"Alice." I mumbled her name, hoping he wouldn't hear me properly, but no. The look on his face showed me that yes, he did hear me correctly.

"What? Alice _Brandon? _You kissed Alice? _What?_"

"Yeah. Then I ran away. Go figure. The one thing I've wanted more than anything since I got here, and I run away like a bat out of hell." Ok, this was _not _the best thing to talk about first thing in the morning. Now I was getting myself down again.

"Wait, wait, wait. Why did you run away?" Bless him – he didn't care about anything else but trying to cheer me up.

"Because … I promised myself that I wouldn't … unless she's changed. And I got … carried away."

"So you haven't spoken to her about this?"

"No."

"Don't you think you should?"

"I don't know. It all feels kind of pointless, to me. She's never going to change, right? So what's the point in trying? I'm only going to get hurt." Yep, any good mood that I may have been in was definitely gone.

Damn _her._

"Bella. She … well, she _has _changed. At first I thought it was because of her parents … but now I don't think it is. She's different, this year, to how she was last year."

"What do you mean?" This was news to me – news that would probably get my hopes up for nothing, but I couldn't bring myself to care about then.

I just needed to know what he meant.

"She's not as bad as she used to be. She used to be high every day, she used to have about three different girls each night. But recently … I haven't seen her with a girl since that day in the coffee shop. She even waved them off that night at the club. After she spoke to you."

"And that's never happened before?"

"Never. I think … I think you should at least speak to her, Bella. See what goes on in that head of hers … because if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that she feels something for you, too, and that something's scaring the shit out of her."

"You told me to stay away from her." I couldn't keep the accusatory tone out of my voice – I couldn't help it, but I knew he wouldn't take offence. Or at least, I hoped he wouldn't.

"That was before."

I sat there for a few minutes, thinking. Jasper didn't say anything else to me, he just sat there, too.

If what he was saying was true … well, then. Things had taken an interesting turn.

But I still didn't know what to do.

Should I go and speak to her?

Or should I leave it for a few days and see if anything happened?

Or should I pretend that none of this ever happened and try and forget how I feel about her?

**A/N: You're all going to call me mean again, aren't you? ;D But, things are going to look up, because, let's be honest, we **_**all **_**know what Bella's going to do. **

**So, thoughts? **

**The game is courtesy of a part I went to a while back. As are the questions, because I don't have the imagination to come up with them all. Funny. Times. **

**Anywho, I've been writing ahead seeing as I have nothing better to do, and I'm getting a chapter done a night. So, I'm way ahead, and I'm going to be updating faster. I think they'll be twenty-ish chapters overall, and I've just done fourteen. **

**So, expect an unpdate in a couple of days. **

**And everyone that reviewed? I. Love. You. Getting that many e-mails gave me hope that exams hadn't killed of my creativity. So, thanks, it means a lot :D**


	11. Chapter 11

I took a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of me. I wanted, _needed, _to do this, but I was still terrified. I had no idea what I was going to say, and I had no idea what any replies were going to be.

But I had to at least try.

When Jasper had gone, I thought a lot. Then I went for a walk and thought some more. He was right – I _should _go and talk to her. But that was a lot easier to say than to do.

I'd gone to the reception to ask what room Alice was in – with the excuse that she'd left her jacket and I'd been the one to find it. The girl didn't look convinced, but after a few more minutes she told me.

As it turns out, she wasn't even in the same dorm as me, like I'd thought that day she'd been in the showers. In fact, she wasn't even _in _a dorm. She lived in one of the little outbuildings dotted around campus. They were, essentially, little houses. That made me even more curious about why she'd been there that day.

I had a hard time trying to stop myself from thinking that it might have been because of _me _that she was there.

Thoughts like that needed to stop.

Especially now.

Now I had to concentrate, because this was it. This was the moment that I'd been waiting for her since my first day here.

I knocked three times, and got no answer. Now, in any other situation, I would have _never _done what I did next. But I was desperate, and I didn't know if I would ever have the courage to do this again.

So I pushed down on the handle, and it opened under my touch. The door swung open slowly, and I glanced around me to check that there was no-one looking. Then I slipped quietly inside, shutting the door behind me.

Surprise, surprise, I could hear soft music playing. I looked around as I walked slowly through the hallway, trying to figure out which room she was in. I couldn't see her, but I figured the closer to the music I got, the closer I'd get to her.

The door to whatever room was shut, and I could tell that it wasn't her singing. This time, it was actually a song I knew:

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

I paused for a second, just listening to the music. Then I braced myself. I had, by now, thought of what I was going to say first. But I knew from experience that these things never went how you planned them.

I pushed the door open softly, trying not to make too much noise and startle her. When there was no response I slid through the gap.

It was the bedroom, and she was sprawled across the bed, lying on her front with her head hidden by her arms. She was hardly wearing anything, which was _not _helping my self-control.

Girls as gorgeous as her should not be allowed to wear tiny shorts and tight shirts.

Just saying.

"Alice?" She still hadn't noticed me, and after watching her from the doorway for a few moments I decided I'd better make my presence known. She scrambled into a sitting position and ended up nearly falling off the bed in the process.

Her hair was all messed up, and she looked like she'd been crying. Not to mention like she hadn't slept that night.

And I'd still never seen anyone look so beautiful.

"Bella? What … what are you doing here? Wait – how did you _get _in here?" She didn't look or sound angry, only confused. I took a step forward, and I saw her eyes follow the movement.

"I … I knocked. But then you didn't answer, and the door wasn't locked … Look, I just need to talk to you, ok? I'll go when I'm done, I promise."

"I would have thought, from the other day, that you didn't want to see me again." She failed at keeping any hurt from her voice, and it killed me to know that _I _was the cause.

"I'm sorry."

"What? That we kissed or that you ran away? Which one? Because really, Bella, I have no idea what you want. I thought … I thought you _wanted _me to kiss you, and then you just … left. _Why_?"

"I left because I shouldn't have let things go that far. I … I was getting carried away. And I don't want … I don't want to be just another girl who you sleep with and then don't even look at again. I _can't _be that girl."

"Bella, you were never going to be that girl. I wouldn't have let you … I wouldn't have been able to let myself do that to you."

"Why?"

"Why? Bella, I've never felt so … so _drawn _to anyone like I was to you. The first time I saw you … I wanted to know you better. I tried to act like you didn't affect me, because I didn't know how to act around you.

"You threw me. No-one else has ever been able to that. I couldn't second-guess you, I couldn't read you … you were a mystery to me. And you genuinely seemed to care about me, though I fail to see how you could.

"I stayed away for a while, because I didn't know what to do or say when you were close. You were intriguing, but you wouldn't let me in. And you frustrated me, and made me want you even more.

"At first I just treated you like I would any other girl – but it didn't work. And that was what made me finally … finally _see _you, y'know?You weren't like anyone else, and what at first had been just plain old desire … It turned into something else. And before I'd even realized it, I was falling for you … But I didn't have a clue if you felt the same."

I could barely believe what I was hearing. I honestly couldn't. I'd been waiting for so long for this that I couldn't comprehend it. In fact, I really, really needed a sit down.

The bed was closest, and I kind of fell onto it. Alice stayed where she was, in the centre, and watched me warily. I was probably confusing her again, but I didn't care.

I just needed a second to think it through.

"I … I had no idea that you felt that way." I raised my eyes to meet hers, and there was more vulnerability in her gaze than I had ever seen on anyone else in my life. I felt the overwhelming need to comfort her, to get that expression off her face.

I was pretty sure that this was a side of Alice that no-one had ever seen before.

"That day, Alice, I ran away because I wanted to be sure that we wanted the same thing. But I couldn't concentrate on that while you were in the room with me. You're so … _distracting. _I shouldn't have left, but I did, and I'm sorry about that.

"But I need to know what you want from me. Because I know now that I can't just be friends with you – I'm in too deep for that. I'm falling for you, too, and that fucking terrifies me, but I can live with it if I know you're feeling the same thing.

"But I need to know that you've changed. The girls, the drugs … I can't deal with that on top of everything else. I just can't."

"I know. And it's stopped, I swear, Bella. I've done some stupid shit in my life, but I do have a reason for it. And I'll tell you, one day, I promise. But I've never told anyone else before. I've never _trusted _anyone else before. Not really.

"But you … I think I can trust you. And I want to try and be in a relationship with you, even though I've never really tried that, either. But I think I can do this. For you. For us."

She had moved so that she was sitting closer to me, and once again I felt the urge to kiss her. So I did, but I kept it chaste – getting caught up in the moment now was just not an option.

"I want to try, too. But I want to do this properly." She looked back to her old self, now, and when she smirked at me, you know _that _smirk, I felt my heart do something funny in my chest.

Guess there really was no way out anymore.

"Yeah? Ok, then. Let me take you out on a date. Tonight." Her voice was soft, playful, and I was so glad that things had gone so well.

"Hmm, what if I'm busy?"

"Tough."

"I'll think about it."

"I'll give you something to think about." She leaned forward again and pressed her lips to mine, moving closer again so that she was closer to me. My hands slipped to her waist, and hers brushed against the back of my neck.

I shivered and opened my mouth to her, and she brushed her tongue against mine softly before pulling back.

"So, what were you saying?" She was close enough that she breathed the words against my lips, but when I tried to kiss her again she pulled back again.

"Yes, I will definitely go on a date with you if you kiss me some more."

"Then you'll have nothing to look forward to later. I'll pick you up at eight. Don't wear anything _too _formal." Then she kissed me once again, quickly, before she hoped off the bed and opened the door for me, waving me out.

I shook my head but went anyway, wondering what on earth I was getting myself into.

A date with Alice Brandon.

Who would have thought?

"Wait, say that again."

"Jasper. I've told you already. Three times. Now, make yourself useful and help me pick something to wear! I have …"

"Three hours. You have _three hours _Bella. Chill." Jasper was lounging on my bed while I paced outside my closet. He'd been here when I'd gotten back from my talk with Alice, and he'd practically been bouncing with enthusiasm.

And he wouldn't shut up until I'd told him everything.

Men.

"I still need to find something, though! Please help me."

"Jeez. You haven't even been out once and you're already stressing. You're whipped already, Bells."

"I am not!"

"Yeah you are. Out of my way." He pushed me aside and started rooting through my clothes. I went and sat on the bed, watching him paw through my stuff. In the end, he threw a pair of black jeans and a black and white top at me.

"There you go. Not too casual, not too formal. You'll be fine. Wear some black flats with that and you're sorted."

"What should I do with my hair?"

"Dear God. You've turned into a monster." I threw a pillow at him, but he caught it easily and tossed it back on the bed behind me.

"I just want tonight to be perfect."

"And it will be – but only if you stop stressing. And curl your hair, for a change."

"I, uh, don't have any curling irons." I ignored the horrified look he shot me, and shot him a sheepish smile. He shook his head and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.

"Where are we going?" He didn't answer me – instead he took me for a walk. I didn't have a clue where we were going, but I let him tow me along anyway. We ended up outside someone's door.

I had a feeling I knew who it belonged to, and I didn't really like where this was going.

Jasper knocked and waited until we heard footsteps on the other side of the door. When it swung open, my thoughts were proved correct.

Rosalie.

Perfect. Now I was going to get the twenty questions on why I wanted my hair doing. And, inevitably, seeing as I just can _not _lie, she'll find out I'm going on a date.

And then she'll probably find out who.

And then she'll probably get mad.

Yay.

"Bella. Jasper. What's up?" She motioned us inside, and Jasper tugged me forward. Emmet was inside, sprawled across a sofa. He smiled and waved as we entered, and I waved back.

"We need help. Well, Bella needs help. She wants her hair done."

"Why?" I looked away from her curious eyes, instead focusing on the lovely wallpaper they had in that room. Purple.

"Bellaaaaaaaaaa? Come on, you got a hot date or something?" Damn Emmet. I blushed, because my stupid brain is too stupid to be able to help me out at _all_. "Aha! With who? Do I know her?"

I didn't answer him – I was still looking at the wall, and Jasper didn't either, which I was grateful for.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Just help her out, Rose."

"Only if she tells me who it is." Glancing back at Rose, I saw that there was genuine curiosity in her eyes. I sighed. Oh well, may as well get this over with – she was going to find out _somehow _and I'd rather it was from me than from someone else.

"It's with Alice, ok?"

"What? _Brandon_?"

"Yup." There was silence for a few seconds, while everyone (by that I mean Emmet and Rosalie) absorbed this new information.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"I do."

"Be careful."

"I will."

"But _will_ you?"

"She's changed, Rose. And according to Jasper, it's a pretty obvious one. Just … let me do this, ok? Please."

"She can still hurt you."

"You think I don't know that? You think that the thought hasn't crossed my mind? That I haven't thought about that every fucking _day _since I started here? I _know_, Rose. And I tried, I tried to stay away from her, like you told me.

"But I can't do it anymore. I _can't._ And if it doesn't work, I tried. I can get on with my life, knowing that I gave it a go. But I'm going to give her a chance, whether you want me to or not."

"I want you to be happy, Bella, I do, but …"

"But nothing. What's done is done. I know she did whatever to you friend. But I can take care of myself. Just please, _please _try to accept this. I value you as a friend, Rose, and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you, because I'm _not. _Just … just try and trust me on this, ok? And if it doesn't work out, well, I'll let you be the first to say 'I told you so'."

I could practically see her mind working, trying to absorb it and move on. And when she turned away from me I thought for a second that she _wasn't _going to accept it.

But then she called out behind her, and I knew we'd be ok.

"You coming or not?"

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**Life's been a gigantic pain in the ass, lately, so updates might be a little slower than I planned. You'd think that with no more college things would brighten up, wouldn't you? But not with my friends. *sigh***

**Anyway, some people should have a little more faith in me. As if I'd do something stupid. The paring says Bella and Alice, yes? So what do you expect? Come on. Believe in me a little. **


	12. Chapter 12

I pulled nervously at one of the curls in my hair for what must have been the _thousandth _time that night. Yep, I was nervous as hell. Rose had curled my hair for what felt like hours, and then Jasper had come back with me to make sure I didn't mess up anything, or, God forbid, wear shoes that didn't match my outfit.

But eventually he'd left, and ever since then I hadn't been able to sit still. Seriously. You'd think I had a disease or something.

When I heard a knock on the door I jumped up from where I'd been perched on the edge of the couch and all but sprinted to the door. I had to stop myself from ripping it open, instead I stood for a full half a second before pulling it open, revealing _the _most gorgeous girl in the world.

And tonight, she was mine.

And I couldn't be more willing to gloat about that fact. She was wearing a white skirt (which, disappointingly, wasn't as short as I would have hoped) and a vivid red top with a deep v-neck.

When my eyes finally travelled to her face, she was smiling softly and she actually looked _shy _for once. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this side of her.

"Hey."

"Hey, beautiful." She stepped closer and leaned up to kiss me, letting her lips linger on mine for a brief, far too short second before she stepped back again, that same smile on her face.

And me? Pretty sure I was grinning like an idiot.

Nothing new there then, I guess. I just hoped she was willing to overlook that.

"Ready?" She hadn't actually stepped inside the room, and was leaning casually against the doorframe, but I could see the fingers of one of her hands shaking slightly. Was she _nervous_?

Alice Brandon, nervous? Nope, couldn't believe that. She was, though, because for a second she looked like she expected me she say no and slam the door in her face.

As if _that _was _ever _going to happen.

Instead of answering straight away, though, I pulled her hand into my own and brushed my lips against it softly, before twisting my fingers through hers and letting our hands drop.

"Lead the way." She smiled again and kissed me once more before she began walking, me following half a step behind. When we got out of my building and onto the main campus, some people started to stare, and it made me a _little _uncomfortable.

"Why are they looking at us like that?" My voice was quiet, a whisper, but I knew she'd heard it.

"Because, the famous Alice Brandon is on a _date_. It's big news, Bella, come on." A soft, but bitter laugh escaped her lips, and she answered my question before I could even ask. "I've never really _dated _before. I just … you know." She waved the hand that wasn't entwined with mine in the air.

And I _did _know.

"Ok, but why? That's what I don't get." I wasn't as bothered by the staring now, but it was still a little weird. I mean, I would have expected people to have better things to do with their lives.

"There wasn't anyone I ever wanted to take that step with. No-one ever … _captivated _me like you did. You're different from everyone else, Bella. And I haven't ever wanted to be with someone as much as I do with you." She bit her lip, then, and looked away, as if afraid that she'd gone too far, and said too much.

I was pretty sure that by the end of the night I would have said my fair share of stupid things, though, so she had nothing to worry about.

"Hey, don't be afraid of telling me how you feel. Ever. That's not how I want to start things." We were still walking, and I noticed that we were now at her place, but she bypassed the building and headed straight for the woods. "Wait, where are we going?"

"Trust me." And I did, implicitly, even though, logically, I shouldn't have at all. But I followed her as she led me through the undergrowth. I hoped it wasn't far, because my balance sure as hell wasn't going to stand for much more of this treacherous terrain.

The need for comfortable shoes was now apparent.

I nearly fell a couple of times, but she always steadied me. I wasn't quite ready to end the conversation we'd already started, but I couldn't walk _and _concentrate on not falling over at the same time.

So instead I kept quiet, hoping I wouldn't slip and split my head open on a rock or something. That'd be typical of me – ruin what was supposed to be a perfect night by ending up in A and E.

But I managed to get through the walk without too much damage, and it was relief when I saw light from up ahead. The trees had blocked out a lot of the fading light, and we'd been walking in twilit darkness for most of the journey. I could hear running water, and the sound was getting louder and louder.

Alice let go of my hand as we reached the lighter area, and I could see the nerves in her expression again as she turned to face me. Then she stepped backwards, and I followed.

I couldn't stop the gasp that fell from my lips, because, God, it was so beautiful. It was a clearing, not a huge one, and dead centre there was a steep cliff face, with a river plunging from the top and into the bottom, forming a perfect waterfall. The plunge pool was big enough to easily swim in, and the river continued to wind back through the forest.

To the side of the waterfall, far enough away that we'd be able to hear each other speak, there was a blanket, surrounded by candles, and a picnic basket sat in the middle.

There wouldn't possibly be anything more perfect that this moment.

"Do you like it?" Alice's voice floated to me from a few steps away. I tore my gaze away from our surroundings to lock my gaze with hers. She still had that uncertainty about her, but I didn't understand _why_.

"Alice, how could I _not _like it? It's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." She stepped closer, and I closed the distance between us, claiming her lips once more. I hoped I never got used to the feeling of her mouth on mine, because there really wasn't anything better.

Ok, so maybe I was a little biased. But you wouldn't catch me complaining.

She pulled away before things could get _too _heated, and she smirked when she heard my slightly frustrated sigh.

"If you want to take things slow, then you're going to have to stop kissing me like that. A girl only has so much self-control …" She trailed off, spinning around abruptly and making her way over to the blanket.

I watched her for a second before I joined her, admiring the way she moved. And, I admit, I was staring at her ass, just a little. But not a lot, I swear.

As long as she didn't catch me looking, I was ok.

"I asked Jasper what food you liked. I hope you don't mind." She sat down in the centre of the blanket, and I sat opposite her, cross legged.

"He _helped _you?"

"He was actually the one that persuaded me that I should try with you. I thought … I thought you knew that. Did he not tell you?" She frowned, and I cursed him in my head.

"No, he didn't. Bastard." She laughed, the sound soothing my anger at my friend. Then again, if he'd got this perfect creature to ask me on a date, who was I to complain? "What did he say to you?"

"He said that if I really cared about you, then I should either stay away from you or admit how I felt. We … we used to talk a little last year. Then I fucked things up, like I usually do.

"So we stopped talking, but he kind of knew me. So, when he noticed a change in me this year, he guessed that you were what caused it. Honestly, when he turned up at my door I though it was some kind of joke.

"But no, he gave me those two options, said it wasn't fair to you if I kept bringing you close then pushing you away. After he'd gone, I decided that I needed to be honest with you, and I told myself that you were worth it all.

"But you got there first, and you know the rest." Wait a minute. Did that mean that he went to her the same day he told me to tell her how I felt? That scheming little …

"Wait, wait, wait. He came to you yesterday?"

"Yeah, he left a few minutes before you got there, actually. Why?"

"Because he told me that I should tell you how I felt, because you'd changed. About an hour before I came to see you." He must have realized that it'd take me a while to decide what to do.

"Well, I guess we have to thank him."

"Or punch him for interfering. Either way's good with me. He _did _help me pick out what to wear, though, so I guess he scores points for that." Her eyes raked over my figure, then, and if it had been from anybody else I would have felt violated.

But not from her. Never from her. No, instead I just felt embarrassed.

I felt a blush coming on and looked down, playing nervously with the fingers of my hand.

"Yes, I'll have to thank him for that, too. You look … no, there isn't even a word to describe how you look. Indescribably beautiful. That'll do." When I chanced looking up again, her face was close to mine again.

I could feel my heart rate quicken just by how close she was, and when she reached out one hand to trace over my lips and down the side of my face, carrying on down my neck, I nearly fainted.

Her touch was light, ghosting over my skin, but everywhere she touched ignited a fire, a fierce burning, my blood starting to pound faster in response. She paused at my pulse point, her index finger hovering softly, before she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the same spot.

I was done for, then. The contact was oh so brief, but it didn't matter to me. I'd never before felt anything like this, and the feeling of her mouth on my bare skin was enough to drive me insane with want.

Oh, so many other places she could kiss me …

But no, I couldn't think like that. Not out here, all alone. Not because I didn't trust her, no, I did. I was beginning to see now, that she meant what she'd said – she _did _want something to happen between us, she was serious about this. And that made the thought of sex with her more alluring that scary.

Originally, I _had _wanted to wait, for a long, long time, to ensure that things were working. But I doubted I would be able to last that long. I mean, I wasn't going to jump her right there and then, but I definitely wasn't as hesitant to take that step anymore.

When she pulled back, my breathing was humiliatingly ragged, and I ended up blushing again as my gaze met hers. Her eyes were darker, now, swirling with some deep emotion.

I hoped it was desire. Or maybe I didn't – if we both dropped our guards, we'd be on each other in seconds.

"What do you want?" Her voice was a little uneven, and I was glad I wasn't the only one affected by our contact.

_You. All of you. _"What?"

"Food. I didn't bring you out here just so that we could make out without being interrupted." There was a sparkle of amusement in her eyes, and it made her whole face light up, making her even more radiant than usual.

She took my breath away.

"Anything." I didn't really take much notice of what she handed me; I just ate while subtly watching her. Everything she did was graceful, whether she noticed it or not. Me, being as uncoordinated as I was, saw it clearly – and part of me was a little jealous.

She made small talk, and I joined in, happy to just hear the sound of her voice and learn little things about her. Like her favourite colour (red), favourite movie (Moulin rouge), and everything else I could get out of her without seeming too stalkerish.

I didn't even realize that it had gone dark, and that the moon was lending its glow to the light of the candles until Alice pointed it out. She shoved the picnic basket out of the way and pulled me down beside her, and we looked at the stars.

I'd always been fascinated by stars. I don't know why. I guess because when I was a kid I'd only ever been able to see them when I visited Charlie, because there were too many lights in Phoenix.

But in Forks there was barely anything. It had been a novelty, when I was little, because I'd only been with Charlie over the summer.

There weren't any lights out here, though, either, and for once it was a cloudless night. It was so peaceful, just lying there, listening to nothing but the sound of Alice's soft breathing and the sound of the forest life around us.

I could stay here all night.

"Enjoying yourself so far?" Alice's voice broke me out of my inner-monologue, although her voice was soft.

"So far? What, is there more? Are you going to spontaneously burst into song? Or have you hidden your guitar behind a tree somewhere?"

"Very funny." She pushed herself up so that her head was resting on her palm, her elbow lying on the ground.

"I know I am." This time, _I_ traced my fingers over _her_ skin, running them along her arm and then over her collarbone and up her neck. I felt her shiver under my fingertips, and her eyes closed as she concentrated on what I was doing.

She looked so gorgeous, with the moonlight illumining her soft features. There wasn't anyone who could compare to her in the world.

Her eyes opened again, and they were leached of colour in the dark, looking much, much darker than usual.

"So, I've been wondering …" There was a slightly ominous tone to her voice, and I tensed slightly, dropping my hand from her face.

"What?" I hoped I didn't sound nervous.

"Are you … ticklish?" She didn't give me an answer before her hands were on my sides, and I tried to fight her off, but I didn't have a chance. She caught me off guard, and for someone so damn _small _she was strong.

So I was merciless under her, and I ended up nearly crying from how much I was laughing. I hadn't been this carefree since … well, for a long time. I couldn't even remember.

"I'll take that as a yes, then." Her voice was quieter than before as her hands stilled, and I soon saw why. We'd both altered our positions, and now she was half on-top of me. I failed to know why I hadn't noticed earlier – I could feel the heat from her body radiating through her thin top, and I could even feel her heart beating frantically in her chest.

Good to know I wasn't the only one.

Her hands had come to a stop at my waist, and I knew that, just like that day that seemed so long ago, my shirt had ridden up. I could feel cool air on my skin, but I couldn't feel her hands on me.

She leaned down the short distance to kiss me, and I felt her run her hands gently across exposed skin, much like we'd both done before.

But feeling her hands on my face were no match for this. Were before there had been a fire, now there was a blaze, consuming every part of my body, strongest where her hands were on me and slightly lower.

Suddenly, jeans were _very _uncomfortable.

Her lips and tongue were still moving with my own, and my head was starting to spin. Eventually, the need for oxygen became our greatest need, and we broke apart. I could feel her breath in her ear, coming in soft pants.

I twisted slightly so that we were lying next to each other, and gently, I titled her head back, pressing my lips hesitantly against the soft skin of her neck. Her hands twisted in my hair and she pulled slightly, causing me to gasp against her.

I kept moving up down her neck, though I only placed butterfly kisses across her skin, not wanting to push things much further. She sighed softly when I pulled away, only to kiss her lips again, but it was slower, softer than before.

"We'd better get going soon," she murmured when we broke apart. I didn't want to go, but our night had to end at some point, I reasoned. "But before we do, I want to ask you something."

"Go ahead." She smiled softly and looked away for a second. When her eyes met mine again, there was something else in their depths – a determination, and something I couldn't place. Something more vulnerable.

"I care about you, a lot. We haven't known each other for long, but I hope you understand me when I saw I feel more connected to you than I've ever been able to be with anyone else.

"And there are things about me that you don't know. And I _will _tell you about that time of my life, when I'm ready. It's not pretty, but I hope that telling you won't change your mind about me."

"Alice … that will _never _happen. You've shown me how much you care, and I care about you, too. Nothing's going to scare me off. Trust me." I used her earlier words against her, wanting her to trust me as well.

"I do, Bella. More than I ever thought I'd be able to after … everything. But I do, so, so much. Just … give me a chance, please. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve _you_, but I'm selfish enough to - "

"_Don't _say you don't deserve me, Alice. I don't care what happened, and, in any case, I doubt that's true." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I cupped the side of her face with one hand and kissed her again, chastely, before waiting for her to carry on.

"Well, what I'm _trying _to say, is, Bella, will you please be my girlfriend?" I was completely shocked for a second, blind-sided, before my heart started to beat faster. Whatever I'd expected, it wasn't _this. _

I already had my answer, though.

"_Yes._" The word was nothing but a whisper between us before her mouth was on mine once again, and the world ceased to exist for me. There was only her lips, and the heat from her body, and her hands, clutching at the small of my back as though I might disappear at any given moment.

"We should get going …" I could tell she was reluctant to break the moment, but it was necessary. Sighing, I nodded and she stood, offering her hand to me and helping me stand.

"What about the stuff?" She waved a hand dismissively.

"I'll come back for it tomorrow. It wasn't that hard to carry." We extinguished the candles, though, not wanting to let them burn too low, and then made our way back.

I had no idea what time it was, but we didn't say any others as we walked back to my dorm, so I suspected it was pretty late. When we reached my door I unlocked it, resting my hand on the handle, unwilling to leave her just yet.

"I'd invite you in, but it's late."

"That's not the only reason, and you know it." There was a teasing edge to her voice, and I knew why. I doubted my self-control would hold if she was on my bed, which was pretty much the only place two people could comfortable sit.

"Well, I'll see you sometime." I tried not to sound _too _hopeful.

"Tomorrow?"

"Perfect."

"Here, call me. I'll take you out for lunch." She read out her number and I typed it hurriedly into my phone. "Sweet dreams, Bella," she breathed against my lips before she kissed me one last, final time.

The feeling lingered for a long time after, though. And she was all I could think about as I waited for sleep to claim me.

And she was _mine_.

Alice Brandon, my girlfriend.

I was pretty sure I fell asleep smiling.


	13. Chapter 13

I was woken up the next morning by a frantic pounding on my door, which originally I had thought was a part of my dream. Apparently not, though, as I crawled out of bed and hurried over to the door.

I pulled it open without looking to see who was there, and I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see Jasper, practically jumping up and down.

"What?" The light from the hall was harsh after being in darkness for so long, and I wasn't generally a morning person.

He was _definitely _going to regret waking me up. A sleepless Bella was an irate Bella.

"What do you mean _what_? Let me in! Tell me what happened! _Everything_!" He strode past me and turned the light on in my room, causing me to squint at the change.

"Go. Away." He ignored the threat, though, and if he realized it came through clenched teeth, he didn't comment on it.

"Come on! Tell me what happened already."

"Get out, Jasper. I mean it. You woke me up. I was having a perfectly nice sleep. So leave me alone for five seconds."

"No. Jesus, are you always this bad in the morning?"

"Yes." I shut off the light and scrambled back into bed, pulling the covers up so that they were over my head and I couldn't hear what he was saying. But next thing, the swine had flicked the light on again and yanked the covers off the bed, nearly causing me to fall to the floor in the process.

"Jasper …" He heard the warning this time, but he didn't look nearly as scared as he should be.

"I'll leave when I know everything. I'm not going anywhere until then." I groaned and closed my eyes, falling backwards. Reluctantly, I told him _some _details from last night, but not all – there were some things that should be kept private.

"So, you didn't sleep together?"

"We've been on one date!"

"So?"

"So … I'm not a slut."

"And you're scared." Damn it. Was I really _that _obvious? I guess I must be. I sighed, and he was sat next to me in an instant.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella. After everything, I'd be worried if you _weren't _cautious."

"It's not that. It was, before, but … not anymore. I _know _she's serious when she says she wants to try this. There's no way she isn't being sincere. So that isn't an issue anymore. I know she wants us to work as much as I do." I hadn't spoken to anyone about this, and I hoped that it would help me rather than make me regret it.

"Then what's the problem?" He looked honestly confused, and I could see why. It was, in all honesty, a stupid reason. But I couldn't help my insecurities. It had only been last night that I'd even realized that this would also cause me to hold back.

"Its just … she's been with _so _many other girls. And I've only ever been with _him_." I still couldn't say his name, and even acknowledging him made me shudder slightly.

I still hadn't forgotten that night.

"So?"

"I don't have any experience! What if … what if I suck? What if I'm not _good _enough for her?"

"Bella … that's ridiculous." When I glanced at him, I saw that he was trying (and failing) to suppress laughter.

"Jasper! It is _not _funny!" I shoved him hard enough to make him stand up, and he knelt down in front of me.

"Bella, you don't have anything to worry about, trust me. If she really cares about you … well, then it wont matter. It'll be different from every other time, because she'll _care _about who she's with. And that's what matters. It's not about the sex, it's about that connection with another person, it's about _being _with someone that way. So stop worrying."

I let his words wash over me for a second, letting them sink in. Ok, so he had a point. It didn't rid me of my fears as much as I would have liked, but it still made me feel a little better.

"I'll try." He smiled and hugged me, then jumped easily to his feet.

"Come on, get dressed and we'll go get something to eat." I glanced at the clock – ten? It was only _ten_? What time had he been awake?

"What about you and Alex, anyway?" I called as I got changed. He was lying on the couch, flicking through a magazine he'd found somewhere.

"What _about _me and Alex?" I smirked. If he felt like making _me _uncomfortable, he was going to get a taste of his own medicine.

"Fucked each other yet?" I heard him spluttering for a few seconds, and I guess he was shocked that I'd ask him outright. Hmm, I guess I hadn't really been too out there around him.

"Um, no. We haven't."

"Whyyyyyyy?"

"Because. We're not ready to take that step yet." I was ready, so I went and stood in front of him, but indicated that we weren't actually _going _anywhere until he'd answered all my questions.

"Why not?"

"I … Because we haven't." He was blushing, I realized. I was _definitely _more curious now.

"Jasper! Come on! I've told you everything you wanted to know about me and Alice. Throw me a bone here." He groaned when he realized I didn't plan on backing down anytime soon.

"Fine! We haven't, because … I'm a virgin. Happy?"

"_What_?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Except it sucks. He _isn't_, so he thinks we should wait a while, even though I'd rather just get it over with. But please, please don't tell Rose and Emmet. They think I lost it last summer."

"I wont, I promise." I was a little shocked, really – out of the both of us, I was the more likely candidate to have not had sex.

"Can we go, then? Please?" I nodded, and we went to grab something to eat. We ended up in our usual hang-out, but the coffee shop was pretty much empty, due to it being relatively early on a Sunday morning.

"Is it usually this dead in here?" I asked as we made our way over to our table.

"Not really, but there was a huge party last night that most people went to. I imagine they're all recovering from killer hangovers."

"Oooh, wouldn't want to me _them _this morning."

"Ah yes, I forgot you knew _all _about the killer hangover."

"Shut up." He laughed, but dropped it, and we just sat for a while, talking about nothing in particular. I hadn't realized we'd been sat there for two hours until Jasper excused himself to go and call Alex to ask him to meet up with us.

He'd only been gone for a few minutes when I heard someone walk over to the table.

"You're back quick."

"I wasn't aware I'd been here before." Alice's wry voice came back at me, and I turned around, shocked, to see her stood just behind me, an amused smile on her face.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were Jasper. Hey."

"Hey. Can I sit with you?" Again, she looked nervous about my answer, as if she expected me to ignore her in public. Which so wasn't the case.

The place had filled up slightly, and again I caught a few people shooting us glances.

"Sure." The second she'd sat down, I leaned over and kissed her, briefly, but still enough to draw attention to us.

"Well, I was just about to ask what our boundaries were in public, but I guess you just answered my question."

"Well, may as well give them something decent to talk about." She laughed and pressed her lips to mine again, slightly harder and more insistent than before. I didn't pull away, though, and instead I shifted so that I was slightly closer to her, with one arm slipping around her back to pull her closer, too.

I drowned in her for a while, letting her indescribable perfume invade all of my senses, and we only broke apart when I heard someone clear their throat from opposite us.

"Finished making out?" I turned away from her just enough to see Jasper sitting back down, Alex beside him. Both were smirking, looking far more amused than I thought they had a right to.

"Yeah, thanks." I tried to keep the annoyance I felt at being interrupted out of my voice, but judging by Jasper's grin, I don't think I succeeded.

"Hi, Alice." She looked a little surprised at being spoken to, but she took it in her stride.

"Hey, Jasper. Alex." She leaned back into my embrace a little more, and the four of us started another random conversation. I was delighted that my friends were being so nice, but I couldn't help wonder what Rosalie would do if she were here. I supposed I'd find out later, though, because she was bound to drop by sometime.

When Alice jumped up to go and get us another round of drinks, Alex leaned across the table.

"She seems nice. I always thought she was kind of a bitch, but she's nothing like I thought she would be."

"Um, thanks?" He laughed, and after a second I joined in, glad that he, at least, accepted who I wanted to be with. I hadn't known Alex for that long, but I was beginning to see that he really was a decent guy. Alice came back, then, so he couldn't say anything more about her.

"Well, things just got a _lot _more interesting." I barely heard Jasper's murmur, and I don't think I was really supposed to, but I understood a moment later when two shadows fell across our table.

"Hey guys." Emmet threw himself into the seat next to Alice as if it wasn't a big deal, and I thanked him mentally for it. I knew his girlfriend wouldn't be quite as accepting, though. No matter what she'd said to me yesterday, I knew Rose was going to be the hardest to convince that Alice had actually changed for the better.

She shot me a look that I couldn't decipher before sitting next to Emmet, but she didn't say anything. Emmet, bless him, tried to make things less awkward.

"So, you guys had a nice date last night, I presume?"

"Yeah, thanks. You do anything last night?" I was trying to get Rosalie involved, but she wasn't giving in.

"We went to that party. Only just woke up." He laughed, and the booming sound calmed me down slightly. It also caused several people to shoot startled glances at our table, but there wasn't really any change there.

"Any good?" I squeezed Alice's hand as she spoke, and she smiled softly at me in return. I saw Rose glance at our entwined fingers before standing up abruptly and walking to the counter.

"I'm sorry, guys. I'll go talk to her." Emmet was halfway up by the time I spoke up.

"No, no. let me go." He nodded, and I followed found Rose after a second of searching and made my way over to her.

"I want to talk to you."

"And I want coffee."

"Rose. Emmet can get your freaking coffee. Come on." I didn't give her a chance to disagree, I already had hold of her hand and was weaving my way through the gathering clusters of students. It had filled up more than I'd thought.

I didn't stop until we got outside, and I moved to the side, where we wouldn't be overheard by any others going into the shop.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry. I know I'm being irrational, I just … It's hard to be expected to treat her like a friend so suddenly. I'll … try, but I'm never going to be best buddies with her."

"I wouldn't ever expect you to be, Rose. I know you don't trust her. Just … just trust _me_. Trust that I know what I'm doing. Please. I'm not asking you to be best buddies with her. I'm just asking you to not make things so awkward between us all. I don't want to have to spend half my time with her and half my time with my friends."

"I know. Like I said, I'll try, ok?" I nodded, and hugged her 'cause she looked kind of sad, and then we went back inside.

"So, Alice, you still taking music classes?" I nearly choked on my coffee, and I saw Alice throw me a startled glance at Rosalie's question, but I just shrugged in response. I hadn't thought she'd try so _soon_.

"Um, yeah. But I'm majoring in history. A music major's to boring."

"You play guitar, right? I've always wanted to learn." That was Emmet, and after that, conversation just flowed between the six of us. After a while, I let myself relax, and I was completely shocked when I saw the time.

"How is it four already?"

"Oh my God! I need to finish that stupid assignment for Brody! Fuck! I'm sorry guys, I gotta go." Rosalie kissed Emmet on the cheek before dashing out of the shop.

"Shit, Jazz, we've got that assignment for Jones. Wanna hit the library now?" And that left me, Alice and Alex, who soon excused himself.

"I promised to take you to lunch. Mind if I rescind that invitation and ask you for dinner, instead?"

"Hmm, I guess I can let you off."

"We'll have to go now, though."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'll cook, silly." Ok – hadn't expected _that_. Alice hadn't really struck me as the cooking type, but I guessed people could surprise you.

"Alright then. As long as you promise not to give me food poisoning."

"Hey! You were fine last night, weren't you?"

"I suppose." She stuck her tongue out at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet.

"Come on." She led me out of the shop, with people still shooting us glances every now and again. "You'd think they would have something more interesting to do than stare at people, wouldn't you?"

"But you're so gorgeous that they probably can't help staring." She laughed and stopped walking, turning so that she was stood in front of me.

"No, I think it's you that they're staring at. You're hot stuff, Bella. Did you not realize?"

"Nope, didn't get the memo." Instead of giving me an answer, she kissed me until me head was spinning, and we broke apart _everyone _around was staring at us.

"Got a problem? You never seen two girls make out before?" I knew Alice wasn't really annoyed, but it was still hilarious to watch as people got uncomfortable and shuffled away. "Get over it! So we're gay – who cares?"

And there went the last of them.

"Not a bad tactic," I said, still laughing as we carried on walking.

"I've been wanting to do that since yesterday. I thought it'd be fin. Just waiting for the right time." She opened the door to her, well, _house_ was the only word to describe it, and held the door open for me. I followed her to the kitchen, which had everything imaginable inside it.

"Make yourself at home. I can see you're dying to look around." I chuckled and leaned over the counter she was stood behind to kiss her once before I went for a wander.

It was a nice house, and much, much nicer than my dorm. I'd already been into her room, and that was somewhere I wanted to avoid anyway, lest she come and find me. Controlling myself while there was a _bed _in the room?

Not going to happen.

So I looked in every other room, admiring the decor. I presumed she'd done it – everything about it screamed Alice. It was light, airy, and it just generally reminded me of her.

She found me staring at a few pictures she had in the hall.

"Is that your family?" I pointed to a picture of Alice stood with who I presumed to be her parents, and another girl that looked like a younger version of her.

"Yeah," she sighed, her breath tickling the back of my neck, and I shivered. I leaned back into her when she wrapped her arms around my waist, and she rested her chin on my shoulder. Even though I wasn't looking at her, I knew something was wrong.

"What's the matter?"

"My parents. I don't see them much. We're … we're not close." I could sense that there was more, but I didn't want to push her. "They … they don't agree with some of the choices I've made. They're disappointed in me, and they don't like seeing me because of that."

"Disappointed in _you_? I find that hard to believe."

"I told you – I've done some pretty fucked up things in my life. They know all about them. And they don't like the fact that I'm gay, either."

"When did you know?" My question caught her off guard – I think she was expecting me to ask her to elaborate on what she'd done in the past, but I was determined not to push her for it. I knew she'd tell me when she was ready.

"Three years ago. I'd always had boyfriends, then I met … I met Victoria. And everything changed." Her voice hardened at the mention of the name, and I realized that maybe I _had _pushed her into things she didn't want to discuss, without even realizing it.

"Alice, you don't have to - "

"No, no. I do. You have a right to know. Relationships don't work without honesty. Just hear me out, and don't interrupt me. I've … never told anyone this. Ever."

"Then I'm glad you want to tell me. Really." She smiled, but it was more bitter than anything else.

"You might regret that, later."

**A/N: **

**First of all, thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, I love you guys. And some of you have had some awesome ideas that I wish I'd have thought of myself – like it being Rose and not her 'friend' that was involved with Alice, and that Alice took drugs to escape her visions. **

**Seriously, genius. However, I'd already written ahead by the time I read them. **

**Second of all, the next chapter after this will be my last for a while. I'm going to upload it Friday or Saturday, I think. There are two reasons for that:**

**One; I'm going to be away for a while. This week, I'm off on a trip for three days; next week I have four days in Paris with some friends; and for the two weeks after that I'm in Spain with family. So, even if I have the time to write, I won't have any internet access to upload.**

**Two; my inspiration has gone for a walkabout lately. I have no idea why, but it's happened before, and I'm hoping that it'll come back while I'm away. My attempt at chapter fifteen was … awful, at best. **

**But hopefully I'll be back in no time. **

**Any thoughts would be much appreciated for when I come back. :D **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Ok, so this is going to be the last for about three weeks. But hopefully I'll be able to get a lot done while I'm away so I can update faster :D**

**There's a lot of talking in this chapter, just to warn 'ya.**

***Runs and hides because I'm not sure this is what you all wanted/expected* **

**But let me know what you think. :)**

She led me into the sitting room, and she left me while she went to check on things in the kitchen. I wasn't really sure how I felt – I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea what to expect.

She came back a few seconds later, and she stood in the doorway with two wine glasses in her hand.

"Wine?" I debated for a second, but decided why the hell not. Besides, it might make things easier for her.

"Sure." I saw, rather than heard, her sigh of relief, and when she came back in she had a bottle, as well. She poured me some before downing half of her glass.

"Ok, so, like I said, I met Victoria. She was … she was beautiful, and I fell for her the second I saw her. I didn't get it, at first, for what it really was. I mean, I'd always been attracted to guys before, so why was she any different?

"But I soon saw that what I felt for her wasn't anything like what I'd felt for any of those guys before. I started to doubt whether I was straight, or bi, but soon I realized that I was gay, and that I always had been and just hadn't realized it."

"That sounds familiar." I hadn't even realized that I'd spoken aloud until I felt Alice's eyes on me. There was a curiosity behind her gaze, and I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Am I honestly the first girl you've had feelings for?"

"Yeah."

"So no pressure then?" Her voice was meek, but I could tell that it actually _did _scare her a little. I rolled my eyes.

"No, no pressure. I've only ever been in one relationship before, so I don't have many comparisons." I was joking, but the way her eyes narrowed told me that she hadn't forgotten that night, either.

"Ah, yes. That boy … _Edward_." She spoke his name with me contempt than I would have, which surprised me a little. What had he ever done to her?

"How do you know his name?" I was confused, but I was also a little uncomfortable with this topic of conversation.

"I did some research after I saw what that bastard tried to do to you. I wanted to know about him, because I wasn't going to let him hurt you again."

"Why?"

"_Why? _Bella, are you fucking serious? Because the idiot tried to … to hurt you, and I couldn't let that happen."

"But … but you didn't know me then."

"Even if it was a random stranger, yes, I would have done it. But I wouldn't have been there if it was a random stranger. I felt something for you, even then, though I didn't understand what.

"I saw, that night, how reluctant you were to be with him, and how possessive he was of you. _That's _why I tried to get you to leave with me, but you thought I just wanted to fuck you in the bathroom, didn't you?

"But I thought that something might happen, saw that you were probably going to break up with him, and that he wouldn't be happy about it. So, I followed you. And when I saw what he tried to do … I saw red. I wasn't going to let him get away with that.

"But that isn't what I wanted to talk about. There's another reason, aside from the obvious, of why I couldn't let him do that to you. Regardless of if you'd slept with him before … it didn't matter. It would have been different, then, and he knew it. No, the other reason … I know what it can do to people. Because … because it happened to me, too. And there was no-one there to save me."

"Oh my God, Alice, I'm so, so sorry." I moved closer to her, concern my only emotion. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for me if Edward had gone through with it. I couldn't even bear to think about it.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me. I just want you to understand, and I want, I _need _to be honest with you, Bella, because I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you, and I don't want to fuck things up because you don't trust me." Her eyes were glistening with tears, but she didn't let them fall. I only nodded, waiting for her to continue, showing her that I understood why she was doing this, and that I wouldn't interrupt.

"Anyway, there was Victoria. I ended up kissing her, one day, and I thought she was going to shove me away and call me disgusting. But she didn't – she kissed me back. And that was the start.

"She was older than me, in college in the same town, and I only knew her because her dad knew mine. We started to see each other behind our parent's backs. I was crazy about her, and I fell in love with her pretty easily. I'd never felt like that about anyone else before …

"She introduced me to some different … lifestyles, shall we say. I'd never been a drinker, but she took me to parties and expected me to. So I did. Then she made me take drugs one night, and I was expected to whenever she did, which was often.

"I didn't realized what she was doing, how much she manipulated me, because I loved her. My parents started to notice the change in my behavior, but I didn't change back to the way I used to be. I couldn't, because that would mean losing her.

"One night, she took me to see her 'friend', James." Her mouth twisted as she said the name, and I knew then that he must have been the one. I felt a stab of sharp loathing for him. It didn't matter that I didn't know him. He'd hurt _my _Alice, and that made me very, _very _angry.

"He was a dealer, and he got me pretty high that night. Victoria left me alone with him. And he … he started touching me. At first, I didn't think anything was wrong, because I was so far gone.

"I soon saw what he was doing, though, and I tried to get away. He was faster than me, though, and so, so much stronger. I couldn't do anything. I begged, and I cried, and I screamed, but it didn't do anything. It just made him laugh.

"I didn't tell anyone about that night, but people noticed the change in me. I was more withdrawn, I wasn't as open as I had been, and I barely ever spoke to anyone.

"Victoria took me back to him again. I didn't know we were going to see him, because if I had, I wouldn't have gone. That was the worst night of my life. When I saw him, I tried to run, but Victoria grabbed hold of me. 'What's wrong?' She said.

"And I told her, and you know what she did? She laughed. She fucking laughed, and she threw me at him. And he did it again. And she watched the whole fucking thing. She just sat there. I could see her.

"And then they started going at it, right in front of me. I realized, then, how fucked up both of them were. They got off on my pain. I wondered how many others they'd done this to.

"I ran, and I eventually made it home. I never told anyone about it. My dad found out about me and Victoria, though we'd been long over by then, and he was furious. He wasn't too pleased by my having a relationship with another woman, regardless of how much it had hurt me. I won't tell you the things he said to me.

"But it got her away from me. Her family moved, and so did she. I never saw her, or James, again. But the damage was done. The only way I could stop remembering, stop feeling his hands all over me, the sound of him laughing, the smell of his skin, the look in _her _eyes as she watched, was to blank it all out. And the only way I knew how to do that were drinking, drugs, and sex.

"Maybe it's weird that sex made me forget about it. But it did. I only focused on finding a girl, and getting her to sleep with me. Even straight girls … they figured if they wanted to experiment, what better way to do it than a one-night fling with a hot girl they'd never see again?

"But for me, it was more than that. In those moments, there wasn't anyone else but me and her. No-one could get in the way of that. And the drugs and the alcohol made me forget who I was, so I didn't remember.

"My parents didn't understand, of course. When my father found about the girls, he sent me off to college, as far away as possible. So I ended up here. I tried to drop out last year, I did everything I could, but he wouldn't have it.

"I didn't want to be here, there weren't enough distractions for me, and I wasn't interested in learning. Sometimes, I considered just … ending it all, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"So he forced me to come back this year, with the threat of what he'd do if I didn't get my act together. Which involved being forced to live with him and mother dearest until the day I died, pretty much.

"Then I met you. You, Bella, you gave me a greater distraction than anything else could. I couldn't understand you, couldn't work you out, and that gave me something to think about. So I knew I could stop, and when you wanted me to, I couldn't refuse.

"I knew it'd make you more likely to trust me, more likely to want to give me a chance, and for the first time, I had hope. Hope that I could have a chance at a proper, decent relationship. With someone who wouldn't hurt me. And I believe we've come full circle."

I could only sit there in stunned silence for a little while, shocked by everything. I didn't know what I'd expected, but it hadn't been _this_. But it was all falling into place. Everything.

And I could understand, now, why she'd done everything. The girls, the drugs, I got it. And … it didn't bother me half as much anymore. Because I knew _why_, and that meant I could help.

And now I got what she'd meant about not being addicted. She never had been, she just needed something to take her mind somewhere else.

And I knew that, more than anything, I could trust her now. I knew everything, and that only made me want to be with her more, to show her that she _could _be in a relationship that wasn't fucked up, to show her that she wasn't worthless, and that someone else could really, truly care for her.

Love her.

I began to see, then, that I could indeed fall in love with a certain Alice Brandon. Certainly, I'd never really thought about it before, because I'd never thought I'd have a chance.

But no, I could see now, how easy it would be. Effortless, even. If only she'd learn to see me the same way. But it was far too easy for me to be thinking about things like that.

And it would be easy to scare her off by admitting it.

"What are you thinking?" Her voice startled me out of my thoughts, soft as it was. But, soft or not, there was something there – a rawer quality, almost. I guessed she never really opened up so much, let her emotions loose.

Glancing over at her, I saw her eyes on me. They were darkened by sadness, but I could still get lost there for hours. I shifted closer to her, needing to feel the touch of her skin against mine all of a sudden.

"I can't imagine how you kept this a secret for so long. It must have tortured you."

"It did. But like I said, I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I told you because I trust you, and well, I guess after so long I just needed to get it off my chest."

"Then I'm glad I was the one you felt strong enough to tell." She smiled, barely, but it was still there. Then she leaned closer and pecked me on the lips, just once.

"Tell me about your family." I was surprised at the question, but I told her anyway.

"Well, my mom and dad got married really young, and it fell apart pretty quick after I was born. So my mom took me away when I was a few months old, and I barely ever saw my dad. He lived in Forks, and I lived in Phoenix.

"When my mom got re-married, to Phil, I was happy for her, but he moved around a lot. So, I decided to send myself to go live with my dad. At first I didn't want to, but after a while it was great. We both just kinda did or own thing. And I made a few friends in high school."

"And you met asshole."

"Yeah, and asshole. I can't _believe _we were together for two years. If I had just figured out I liked girls earlier, like before I even _met _him, things would have been so much better." She laughed, and I considered it a job well done that I had managed to distract her.

"You can't choose when to accept your sexuality, Bella."

"But it'd be great if we could."

"I guess. Now, excuse me while I try to salvage dinner. Put the tv on if you want." She kissed me again and tossed me the remote before disappearing back into the kitchen.

I considered following her, just to watch her cook, but I didn't want her to think I was weird. Well, she probably already knew that, but I didn't want to tip her off anymore.

So I ended up flicking through the channels, and was made up when I found one showing the final season of Buffy. God, I'd loved that show growing up. I was so absorbed in it that I didn't realize that food was done until Alice set it down in front of me.

"If you don't like pasta, I will kill you."

"Pasta?" I let my voice sound doubtful, just to play with her a little. She glared at me.

"Yes, pasta. So eat it, because I don't really want to kill off my hot new girlfriend." She winked then, and I was tempted to throw a pillow or something at her, before deciding that probably wasn't the best idea.

"Dear God, Alice. This is _amazing_."

"I know I am." I rolled my eyes and carried on eating, because _damn, _I'd thought that I had been a pretty good cook, but compared not when compared to what I was currently having.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"Hmmmmmm, nope, don't think there is." But there was a sparkle in her eye, as though she was pleased to have impressed me. "Buffy? Seriously Bella."

"Oh, come on! It's awesome. Plus, you know, Eliza Dushku and Sarah Michele Gellar are totally hot." She pretended to glare at me again, and I quickly amended my statement. "But nowhere near as hot as you are."

She laughed and shook her head, and started to actually watch the program. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us talking, until it finished. Then she turned to me and I realized, inappropriately, that I'd never had sex on a couch.

But that was a bad thought, Bella.

Very, very bad.

Stop it.

And I was so lost in my inner conflict that I didn't notice Alice was talking to me until she waved a hand in my face.

"Hello? Earth to Bella?"

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"I said, what time do your classes start tomorrow? 'Cause I don't want to keep you up too late if you have to be up early." I glanced at the clock – seven, already. Today had flown by.

"Who needs sleep? And nine."

"Nine? That sucks, especially on a Monday."

"Why, what time do you start?

"Eleven."

"That is _so _not fair."

"Neither is life, Bella. Get over it." I grumbled for a few more minutes, because, really that just wasn't fair, and to shut me up she leaned over and kissed me once more.

Ok, maybe I should complain more often. Because this was definitely a good answer. Her lips were, as always, soft against mine, and things started heating up pretty quickly, because, well, add two horny teenagers and a flat object and you'd have a problem.

We gave up trying to get closer sitting up, and I let her push my shoulders down, so she was lying on top of me. She held most of her weight on one arm, while the other cupped the side of my face, tilting my head up to her.

She trailed kisses from my mouth and down my neck when we broke apart, and my blood thundered through my veins, wanting, already, so, so much more. The effect she had on me would have been embarrassing if I couldn't feel her heart against my chest, beating just as fast.

When she reached my pulse point, she bit down, not enough to leave a mark, but enough for me to feel it. I groaned, twisting my hand in her hair when her tongue flicked over the same spot.

I dragged her head back to mine, crushing my lips against hers once more, and reveled in the sound that slipped from her lips when I accidentally shifted my legs so that my knee was between hers and my thigh was pressing against her centre.

So pulled away from lips hastily, and I could feel her speaking in my ear, her voice low and breathy. "I think, Bella, that we should stop before things go … too far."

I could hear how much she wished she didn't need to say the words, but I wasn't the only one who thought we should wait. This would be different for her, as well, and I think she was secretly afraid that sex would mean that she hadn't changed from who she'd used to be.

Don't ask me how I'd come up that theory, but even as I thought it, I knew it must be true.

"Ok." I spoke the word with reluctance, and when she pulled back, there was a wry smile on her face.

"Soon, Bella, soon. I just … I want to do this properly. I don't want to rush things." Then she kissed me one last time before sliding off me and helping me up. "I'll walk you back, if you want."

"No, no, you don't have to. You did yesterday. I know they way."

"Bye, then."

"Bye." I couldn't resist kissing her again as I went passed, but I bypassed her lips and kissed her forehead instead. "Thank you, for telling me. It means a lot." And then I walked away before she said something else, because it was getting harder and harder to leave her behind.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey there! You remember me, right? :D**

**So, I'm back from my various escapades, and, good news is, I got a **_**lot **_**of writing done while I was away. As in, I know **_**exactly **_**where this is going, and I only have one chapter left to write. There's five more after this one. **

**And even better news, they get longer from here on out. This one's the longest, 'cause I haven't posted anything for a while, but the rest are still a fair bit longer than the ones before. **

**Oh, and seeing as I already had my love of Buffy, I had to stick my love of Gaga in somewhere. I mean, my other account's got a story from her song title, so she had to fit in this one somehow. /obsession. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think, just in case the sun went to my head and it's not as good as previous stuff. **

**:)**

The next week passed remarkably quickly, which I hadn't expected, because usually when you're waiting for something time crawls by. The thing I was waiting for? Not much, you might think, but I hadn't had much of a chance to see Alice during the week.

Stupid college work.

So I waited eagerly for Friday night, and I even managed to pretend I wasn't falling for her as hard as I was.

A pretty good achievement, considering she was always on my mind.

I didn't get distracted from my work, either, which was always good. I actually _wanted _to pass this year, because having to re-do things wasn't really my style.

So after my last class on said Friday, I went straight back to my room to get ready – I was going out with the guys, and Alice had been invited along with us. I was glad that I wouldn't be the only one without someone else, but I was also a little disappointed that we wouldn't be, well, _alone_.

But we would still be together, so I couldn't really complain too much.

I ended up wearing a dress for once in my life, one that I was sure had mysteriously appeared since my time at college, because I had no recollection of buying it or being _given _it, either.

I was fairly sure that Jasper was to blame.

Sure enough, when I met up with everyone else, he smirked as he appraised what I was wearing and then winked at me before looking away.

Alice wasn't there yet, and neither were Rosalie and Alex, so it was just me, Jasper and Emmet, and I could tell he was going to start with incredibly annoying (and probably embarrassing) questions as soon as he had the chance.

And, sure, enough, when he noticed me his eyes lit up. "Bella! So, you and Alice. Tell me _everything_."

"Er, no."

"Oh, come on!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm your _friend_, Bella. Besides, you're hot, she's hot, together you're hot – what's not to like?" He didn't see Rosalie until it was too late, but I laughed when she sidled right up next to him and smacked him across the head.

"Don't be annoying, babe. It'll get on everyone's nerves." Wincing, he rubbed the spot where she'd hit him with one hand and muttered something under his breath. I didn't hear what he said, and neither, apparently, did Rose, because she didn't do anything else to him.

"Hey, you." I recognized the voice that spoke in my ear at once as an arm slid around my waist as lips pressed to my cheek, and I smiled and turned around to kiss her properly.

"Hey," I murmured when we broke apart, and when I glanced back around, I saw that Alex had arrived and everyone was ready to go.

Myself, Jasper and Alex all piled into Alice's car (she wasn't drinking and had agreed to drive us all home), while Rosalie and Emmet took Emmet's car, which Alex had offered to drive back later.

We went to the same bar as usual, and by the time we got there it was already packed, but we found a table after only a little searching. Before long, Rose and Emmet fucked off somewhere, and then Jasper and Alex, leaving me and Alice on our own.

Not that I was complaining.

"You had a good day?" She shifted closer to me, and I chose to kiss her instead of answering. I don't think she minded.

We stayed like that for a while, longer, neither one of us willing to break the moment, and not needing anything else than just to be in each others company.

But then Rosalie came back, Emmet-less, and that soured the mood a little.

"Bella, Alice. Me and Jasper could use a shopping trip – you up for it? We're going to go tomorrow, of you are." I made a face, but Alice had perked up at the word _shopping_, in a way that I did _not _like.

"Shopping? You … Are you sure you want me to go?"

"Yeah. I mean, Bella's not going to come on her own, because she hates it, and besides, you're not so bad." And with that, Rose stood up and left us there, both astounded.

"She was _nice _to me. We're in another dimension, aren't we? It's the only explanation."

"I think you're right." I laughed at the bewildered expression on Alice's face, but was glad that Rose had gotten over _whatever _and was trying. Things were coming together pretty nicely.

"And you don't like shopping, Isabella Swan?" Her eyes narrowed at me across the table.

"No, not really."

"Tough. Because _I _love it. And seeing as you're stuck with me, you may as well get used to impromptu shopping trips."

"Seriously?" When she nodded I groaned and trying to think of a reason to get out of any future shopping trips. I'd go tomorrow, because Rose and Alice seemed to actually be getting on, but after that?

Hell. No.

"Lighten up! And come dance with me, I love this song!" She grabbed my arm before I could disagree, and was dragging me over to the dancefloor.

"You like this song?" I asked, skeptically.

"Of course! Wait, wait, wait. You don't like Lady Gaga? Bella. Come on. If I'd have _known _that you didn't like shopping and Lady Gaga, I would have re-considered asking you to be my girlfriend." Her one was grave but her eyes were light, and I shoved her playfully.

"That's a lie. You would have never re-considered. And it's not that I don't like her, exactly, I've just … never really listened to her stuff."

"What? Good God, where have you _been_? That's it. Tomorrow, we're taking my car, and I'm playing the CD the whole way there. You need to be educated on Gaga. And that's final. Now come _on_, are you going to dance, or not?"

I couldn't refuse her, of course, so we ended up crammed onto the dancefloor in one of the corners, her arms around my neck and mine around her waist, pressing her into my tightly.

I had to admit, the music wasn't as bad as I though it would be. The song was actually kind of catchy.

But after a while, I stopped listening to the song, because, well, I suddenly realized how _close _me and Alice were pressed together, and started to notice the way her hips were moving against mine.

I think she felt it, too, because the next second her lips were on mine, and we got lost in out own little world for a while. The only thing I was aware of was the feel of her body against mine.

The club was getting a little hot, all of a sudden.

Not that I was going anywhere. I could stay here, with her, for the rest of eternity if it were possible. She was all I wanted, all I _needed_ right now, and I was happy to keep things that way.

So when her hands tangled in my hair to keep my lips against hers, I couldn't stop my own hands from running over the now-exposed skin of her upper thigh. She moaned into my mouth and her hands tightened, and I was loving every moment of this, and I was pretty sure she was, too, judging from how she pressed ever closer to me.

The song ended and another began, but I barely noticed. She was the only thing my attention was focused on, but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew we should probably stop soon, because otherwise the people surrounding us were going to get a show.

I pulled back a few moments later, my breathing labored, and when our eyes met I could see that hers had darkened beyond their usual blue, with what I could only presume was desire.

"I think I'm a little danced out," she breathed, and I could tell it was with great reluctance that she pulled away from me, taking my hand and taking us back over to a different table than before.

The others were nowhere to be found, but I didn't care. I'd forgotten about them a while back, and I knew they'd come find us whenever they wanted to leave.

So we sat, and we talked, and it was so easy, so effortless, it was like I had known her my whole life. I knew I could tell, or ask, her anything, and she would always answer my truthfully, no matter what.

I felt more comfortable around her than I ever had with Edward, and that thrilled me as much as it scared me, because, after all, we hadn't been going out for long, and the depth of my feelings for her, already, was enough to make me stop and think.

Because I didn't want to scare her of by admitting to her that I was falling in love with her. I knew I was – even if I'd never been in love with anyone before, not truly, at least, I still knew what it felt like. Or I _guessed _what it felt like.

And I couldn't see it being anything stronger than what I felt for Alice, regardless of how long we'd been dating. Whenever I saw her, it made my day. She was on my mind every second of every day, and she haunted my dreams, too. I could see how easy it would be to spend the rest of my life with her, though I'd never admit it, or not _yet_ I wouldn't.

So I made a vow to myself, not to let her know how strong my feelings for her were unless she mentioned something similar to me. It didn't matter how long that took, because I'd wait forever for her, if I had to.

I just hoped it wouldn't take quite that long.

It was a few hours later when Rosalie stumbled over to our table, telling us that we were going. So we met the others and agreed where to meet up tomorrow. I sighed, and Alice shot me a playful glare when she heard me.

At least I could persuade her to ease up on the shopping in a way I couldn't with the others.

Jasper had to literally drag me out of bed the next morning, because I was tired, and it was too early on a Saturday morning for me to be awake, let alone going to a mall.

But alas, the swine wouldn't leave me alone until I was up and he'd laid out an outfit for me to wear. I briefly considered wearing the scruffiest thing I owned just to annoy him, but deiced that what he'd picked out would definitely get me Alice's good books.

And sure enough, when I eventually met up with the other five, I saw her eyes flicker over my body before connecting with my own. I smirked to let her know that I'd caught her checking me out, and she stuck her tongue out at me before practically dragging me over to her car.

"You look _far _too beautiful today, Ms. Swan," she murmured into my ear before she bit down softly, causing me to let out a gasp and clutch her hips more tightly than I intended.

I brought my lips down to hers, and she pressed my back against the car door, but the moment was ended by the impatient beeping of a car horn. We broke apart from the heated kiss reluctantly to see Emmet, driving his beloved Jeep, grinning at us through the open car window.

"Stop being horny and start driving! You're not getting out of this if I can't, Bella!" I sighed and Alice laughed, opening the car door for me and ushering me inside.

Her car was pretty amazing, I had to admit, and I settled into the leather seats gratefully as she slid in next to me. Music blasted out from the stereo when she started the ignition, and I threw her a disbelieving look as I recognized it.

"I thought you were joking about the music."

"Nope. You're listening to her until we get there," she replied, smug, and I sighed and closed my eyes. I saw her throw me a triumphant grin when she caught me humming along to the chorus of _Alejandro. _

"What?"

"Noooothing."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't, otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to come shopping with me."

"Beginning to regret that right about now." Ok, so that was a teensy lie – I was for any plan that let me spend extended amounts of time with her, but she didn't need to know that just yet.

"I think I can make it worth your while." When her eyes caught mine, they smoldered with the same desire I'd seen radiating off her last night, and my breath caught when my stupid inappropriate mind started coming up with scenarios that would, indeed, make this pointless trip worthwhile.

But those type of thoughts weren't going to help me keep my hands to myself for the remainder of the car journey.

"Oh, really?" My voice only shook a little, but even so, I know she heard it because she turned to catch my gaze again.

"Really." Her eyes flickered back to the road, then, so she didn't see how much her words affected me.

It was getting harder and harder to control myself around her, lately, and I knew she was feeling the same way. Though by now, I was starting to forget why we waiting in the first place.

I was in a similar frame of mind when we finally reached the mall, and I wanted nothing more than to turn back around and spend the rest of the weekend locked in Alice's house.

If only wishes would come true.

The others were already there, and in the two hours of hell that followed, Alice had yet to fulfill her promise of making this a worthwhile experience. The only good thing that had happened was that Rosalie and Alice were actually getting along. Sure, it was over a love of _clothes_, but even so, it was good to see.

"I think Bella's going to kill herself if we don't stop for a break soon." Alex, thank God, noticed the way I'd been eying up the exit, and although he'd foiled my escape plan, he _had _got everyone to stop what they were doing and come over to us.

"Come on, it's not that bad!"

"Yes, yes it is Jasper. But if you'd prefer, I could kill you instead."

"No thanks."

"That's what I thought."

"But we're not done in here yet." Apparently, Rosalie wanted to draw out the horror of me watching her look through a pile of crap that was on sale. I threw Alice a pleading look, and she laughed at my discomfort before coming to my rescue.

"Why don't me and Bella meet you guys in a little while?"

"Alright, as long as you don't let her escape."

"I wont, don't worry. Come on." Her fingers twined with me as we _finally _left that damn shop. I didn't know where she was leading me, but I didn't care so long as it wasn't to another one.

"So, what do you wanna do?" She turned to face me when we were a safe distance away.

"Get the hell out of here?"

"Sorry, I promised."

"Alright, just give me your car keys and I'll say I stole them off you. Problem solved."

"So you don't want to spend the day with me? I'm hurt." She pouted, and God, the things she could do to me without even trying. And she knew it, too.

Didn't stop me from kissing her, hard, though, and keeping her there when she tried half-heartedly to pull away. Her tongue met mine, and the soft sigh that escaped her as she moved closer was music to my ears.

When oxygen became a necessity, we pulled away, and I swallowed a laugh when I saw the shocked looks some people walking by were throwing us.

"I don't know whether to be offended or amused." Her voice was normal, although her breathing was heavy, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her again for a brief few seconds.

"Definitely amused."

"Mmm, alright then." Her eyes looked past me for just a second, and then they lit up as a mischievous smirk crossed her face.

"What?"

"I think I just figured out a way to make this trip worthwhile. Come on." She dragged me away, and it took me a few seconds to realize which shop she was taking me into. When I saw it, I stopped.

"No way."

"Don't be a spoilsport. Please?" She did that pouting thing again, and then she stepped closer and leaned up so her lips were against mine. "Come on, Bella. It'll be fun. Trust me." Her breath washed over me and my eyes closed as my lips parted to meet hers, but she pulled back straight away.

"Fine, I'll go." She grinned but pulled away before I could kiss her like I _wanted _to, and then she was pulling my away again. I'd never been in here before, because it was a one of those shops that sold dresses for occasions like proms and whatever, and I just didn't go anywhere near those things, due to my stupid balance issues.

I couldn't really think of a better companion for my first time in there, though.

"Stay here," she commanded as she turned away, her eyes warning me not to disobey her. So I stayed, and when she returned a few minutes later she had something in a basket, but I couldn't see what it was.

"Now follow me." I did, curious as well as scared, and that fear only grew when I saw she was leading me towards the changing rooms.

She dragged me to the furthest one, and then she practically shoved me inside, and instead of her making out with me like I wanted, she pushed something into my hands, something that felt distinctly dress-like.

"Alice …" I warned, as she started to move back, pulling the curtain back as she prepared to slip outside.

"Please? I just want to see what it looks like. That," she indicated the dress I was wearing, "Is the only one I've ever seen you wear."

"Urg, fine. But only because you're so freaking gorgeous." I was rewarded with a soft smile and a kiss before she disappeared behind the curtain, leaving me alone. Getting the stupid thing on wasn't as simple as I had thought it would be, though, because the stupid zip got stuck.

"You know, this isn't exactly what I had in mind when you said this trip would be worth my while." It was a pretty short dress, and the zip went from the small of my back right to my neck. I'd had to unzip it in order to pull it up, but I'd failed to realize that in doing so I had no way of being able to zip it up again.

"Oh? Well what _did _you have in mind, then?" Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew she'd have that same look in her eyes that she had had before. Even just the image of that desire in my brain made me shiver, and I decided not to answer her with what I truly _had _hoped for.

"Oh, nothing."

"Sureeeee you didn't. How long does it take you to get changed, anyway? I know you don't like shopping, but jeez."

"Um, well, it's kind of … stuck." I heard her sigh before I heard the swish of the curtain moving aside, and then I heard her sharp intake of breath. She must have thought I was joking, or at least thought that I'd be better dressed than I actually was.

But as it was, I hadn't gotten _any _of the zip done up, so all of my back was exposed, as well as the top few centimeters of my panties. Thank God today was the day I'd chosen actual, nice, _matching _underwear, or I doubted Alice's reaction would have been quite the same.

I don't know how long she stood there, simply staring, but it seemed like an age to me. I don't know why I didn't turn around, either, but I didn't. So the only indication I had that she was moving closer was the sound of the curtain falling back into place, and her footsteps.

The anticipation, of waiting for her to touch me, was almost too much. So when her fingertips brushed the bare skin at the base of my spine, the shudder that ran through me would have been embarrassing, had I not felt the slight tremble of her fingers as she touched me.

The zip was still stuck, though, not that I was complaining, because it kept her hands on me for longer. And she gave up, after a few more seconds, and instead one of her hands traced the contours of my spine. She was barely touching me, and yet even the lightest of touches brought a fire that ignited my body, made my blood pound and my head scream for more.

I felt her breath against the skin of my shoulder and knew she must have stepped closer. I was still facing away from her, and my head was about to rest against the wall, because I was losing the will to keep it upright.

Then her hands encircled my waist and she spun me around so that I was facing her, and the way her lips devoured my own left little doubt in my mind of what she was feeling.

She pressed herself closer, and I was against the wall now, the cold tiles soothing my heated skin. The fabric she was wearing was rough against my skin, but nothing in the world could make me pull away from her.

The dress, by now, had fallen down completely, a crumpled heap on the floor, and I couldn't bring myself to care that I was in my underwear and she was fully dressed.

Her hands were on my skin again, and one inched slowly higher and higher, tracing the outline of each of my ribs. My hands knotted in her hair, trying to tell her without words what I _needed _from her.

And finally, after what felt like hours of the sweet torture her hands brought me, I felt the light brush of her fingers over one of my breasts, and even though the moan that escaped me was caught my her lips, it was still embarrassingly loud.

I felt her smile against my mouth before she pulled back, her lips moving gently down the line of my neck, while one of her fingers brushed over the sensitive skin of my nipple through the thin material of my bra, and I bit my lip to stop myself from revealing to the whole shop what we were doing.

"Alice …" I warned, even as her hand clutched my thigh, bringing me ever closer, but hopefully not close enough for her to feel the growing wetness of my underwear. But if she did notice, she didn't comment on it.

Her hands were still teasing me, and it took every ounce of control that I possessed to drag her head from my neck back to my lips, where I tried to slow the intensity of our kiss.

She seemed to understand what I was trying to tell her, for her hand dropped to my waist, where her fingers idly traced the top of my panties. When she pulled away, her breath was quick against my lips, matching my own.

"God, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so carried away. You just … damn. You look _far _too good without any clothes on."

"I try." She laughed, and she helped me pull my original dress back over my head, and then we tried to make the other one look like it hadn't spent copious amounts of time on the changing room floor. I don't think we succeeded very well, though, judging by the disapproving look the manager shot us when we handed it back to her.

"Well, I think this trip has _definitely _been worthwhile."

"Mmm, I have to agree." She kissed my cheek gently before we went back to find the others, and it was only then that I realized I hadn't felt anything other than want and desire when her hands had been on me. Maybe I _was _as ready for this, for _her_, as I wanted to be. And, judging by her own reactions, I think she was pretty ready too.

Emmet was the only one to guess what me and Alice had been doing in the time we'd spent apart from the rest or, at least, he was the only one to voice such things aloud. But we both ignored his comments, but we didn't deny them either, which only seemed to cause him more delight.

We parted ways a few hours later, and it was with the promise of meeting up tomorrow that me and Alice left each other for the night.

I was tired, and even though it was pretty early (I _had _been up early that morning, courtesy of Jasper), so I went to bed pretty much straight away.

When I heard banging on the door, I woke up, slightly disorientated and wondering who the hell it was. But when they didn't let up, I scrambled out of bed and over to the door, managing to navigate the room pretty well without light, for once.

I flung the door open, wincing in the bright light of the hallway, and it took me a few seconds to blink the blinding light out of my eyes to be able to see who stood there.

I'd pretty much suspected it would be her from the start, but I had never seen Alice looking as upset as she did then. It was obvious that she'd been crying – her eyes were red, and there were still tears on her cheeks.

I stepped closer, pulling her into a hug and into my room, shutting the door hastily behind us.

"Ssh, it's ok. What's the matter?" I managed, somehow, to get her over to the bed, pulling her down beside me.

"It's stupid, I should go - " She stood up to leave but I caught her wrist, forcing her to stop. Then she started crying again, and I couldn't get anything else out of her for a while.

"I got a call from my father before." She finally said, after I'd gotten her some tissues and water. "He said some … lovely things. He heard I was dating someone. You. He wasn't happy about it."

I brushed away the remaining tears that stained her cheeks with one hand, while the other rubbed gentle circles on her back.

"And then I had a nightmare. It happens, sometimes, when he calls. I think … I think it's because it was like … like when everything happened."

I could guess what the nightmare was about, so when she opened her mouth and seemed unable to say the words, I placed a finger over her lips, and she saw in my eyes that I understood.

"Can I … maybe stay here tonight? I wouldn't ask, but …"

"Of course you can. I'll find you something to wear." I left her for long enough to grab an old t-shirt, and tossed it to her. She stood and moved a few meters away from the bed, and even though I _tried _to keep my eyes away, I honestly couldn't.

I was drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, and considering she'd seen me in my underwear before, I didn't feel as bad about watching her get changed as I would have done otherwise.

I think she sensed me watching, because when she turned back around, shirt unfortunately on, there was a smirk lighting up her face, letting me know that she was feeling a little better.

"Like what you see?" She asked, teasingly, as she made her way back over to me.

"You have no idea," I murmured before I slid into the bed, pulling the covers back so that she could get in beside me. I saw, rather than heard, her take a deep breath, and then she was next to me, and every one of my senses was lost to her.

My arms immediately wrapped around her waist, and she turned so that her back was against my front after she pressed a chaste goodnight kiss to my lips. My legs intertwined with her own, and even such small skin to sin contact made a shiver run through my body.

I pressed my face into her hair, letting it relax me as only she could, and I feel asleep to the peaceful sound of her slow breathing.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **

**It's me again! Everyone who reviewed, I love you. :D And that is all I have to say. Enjoy: **

The first thing I noticed when I woke up the next morning was the fact that Alice was still sleeping, wrapped in my arms, our legs tangled together.

The second thing I noticed was someone knocking persistently on the door. What was with my room? If it was Jasper outside, or even any one of my friends, actually, I wasn't letting them in. Getting up would wake Alice up, and I was perfectly happy to stay here with her all day, because it was Sunday, and I had nothing better to do with my life.

But apparently whoever it was wasn't giving up, though I still wasn't planning on moving. That was when I heard Eve's faint voice through the door.

"Um, hi, can I help you guys?"

"I'm not sure …" The rest of the words were drowned out by my leaping out of the bed and cursing softly. Because, faint or not, I knew that voice.

My mother.

Alice, alarmed by my sudden movement, gave me a startled look from where she lay, her hair messed up but somehow she still managed to look absolutely stunning.

"What's up?" She asked, her voice huskier (and, consequently, sexier) due to the early hour.

"My mother. Outside," I said, gesturing to the door. "And probably my stepdad."

"I see. Um, I can't really go anywhere, though."

"I know. Crap."

"Does it matter that much? I mean, are you going to tell her? About us?"

"Believe me, if she comes in here and sees us together, she'll know. She may be eccentric, but she's the most intuitive person I know. Especially when it's me."

"I _see_. Well, I could always hang out on the bathroom until they leave. Or escape through Eve's - " But she was cut off when the handle turned. Apparently, I'd left the door unlocked last night, and obviously Eve had decided that I must just be asleep and had decided to let Renee and Phil in, thinking she was doing me a favor.

There wasn't anything either of us could do other than throw the other a helpless glance at the other before the door opened and Eve's head poked through the gap.

"Bella? Sorry, but - " She finally realized that I wasn't alone in my room and stopped, no doubt trying to figure out some way to help me out of this god-awful situation.

"Bella! Would it kill you to pick up the phone and call me? I've hardly had any word from you for the last – Oh. Hi there." Renee swept into the room, past Eve, who mouthed 'sorry' to me before slipping away. It took my mom a while to notice Alice, who hadn't had the chance to move out of my bed, and I could practically see the wheels turning in Renee's head.

"Hi, mom."

"Who's your … friend?" The implication that she spoke the word with wasn't lost on me _or_ Alice, but I tried not to let it show.

"That's Alice."

"Um, hi. It's, uh, nice to meet you." She threw me desperate look, but there really wasn't anything I could do. My mom noticed the exchange, though, and I knew she knew for sure now that there was something going on between the two of us.

"Well, I'll just be, um, leaving now." Alice scrambled off the bed, her eyes landing nervously on the figure standing in the doorway – my stepdad, Phil, who looked very uncomfortable.

He couldn't be in as much discomfort as I was, though. Not really.

Alice grabbed her jeans from were she'd pulled them off last night, and she cast a glance at the shirt she'd been wearing too, before deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble. I couldn't stop my eyes straying over to her as she pulled the jeans on, and I caught a tantalizing glimpse of her very lacy, very sexy red underwear that I hadn't had a chance to truly admire last night, and I hoped my mom didn't notice _that _glance, either.

Because that just wouldn't help anything. At all.

"Well, I'll … see you later, Bella?" Her voice was a little higher than normal, and I wanted nothing more than to reassure her that things weren't all that bad. Not that I could do that, exactly, but still. The urge was there.

And so was the urge to kiss her, and that was one I definitely needed to control. I could see from the longing glance she cast at my lips before she moved past me that she felt the same way, but there wasn't much we could do about it.

I let my eyes follow her as she stepped past Phil and made her way, presumably back to her place to get changed. Renee raised an eyebrow at me as Phil stepped over the threshold and shut the door, apparently deeming it safe enough to come inside now that Alice was gone.

"So, Alice, huh? What happened to Edward?" One of the things about my mom, she's very direct. Sometimes it was a good trait, and other times, like now, for example, it was a pain in the ass. I sat back down in the bed, and the remnants of Alice's perfume, still hanging in the air, helped calm me some.

"We broke up."

"I see. Not that I liked him very much. But Bella … I never knew that … how long have you two been together?"

"Honestly? Not long."

"I _see_."

"But mom … it's not … God, I don't even know what to say. But I like her, a lot. More than I ever liked Edward, even. So don't write this off. I didn't want you to find out like this … I'm sorry."

"Oh, sweetie, don't be sorry! She seems like a lovely girl. And I can see that you like her very much. Just … be careful, honey, alright?"

"You … It doesn't _bother _you?" Whatever I had expected when I told my mom (not that I'd given much thought to that, considering I'd only known myself for a month or so now), it hadn't really gone anything like this. Especially when coupled with the way Alice's parents had reacted. But I supposed that everyone was different, so everyone would react differently.

"No, Bella, of course not. I still love you – nothing could change that, ok? Now, how about you give me and Phil a tour of this place, hmm?"

Which we ended up doing for about two hours before Renee finally tired herself out. We were on our way back to my room when we almost ran into Emmet and Rose.

"Bella, hey! Recovered from yesterday yet? I haven't." I laughed as Emmet pulled me into a hug, and I could see Rose smiling over his shoulder. Neither of them knew my parents – my mom had never visited me in Forks, I had always gone to Jacksonville. She'd met Edward a few times, but never anyone else from back home.

"Just about. This is my mom, Renee, and my stepdad, Phil, by the way." I motioned toward where they stood, behind me. "And this is Emmet, Edward's brother, and his girlfriend, Rose."

Introductions aside, Rose and my mom started bonding over shopping, and Phil and Emmet over baseball, while I just stood in the middle of them all, happy to only half-listen to both conversations, glad to have some time to think.

I was overjoyed that my mom had taken everything so well, especially with the circumstances. But then again, I wouldn't be surprised if, on some level, she had always known and just never thought to enlighten me. Like I said; she's very perceptive.

I heard Jasper laugh from around the corner Rose and Emmet had appeared from, so knew he was coming before I actually saw him. I wasn't, however, expecting to see Alice by his side, a small smile on her face as she finished telling whatever story she was telling him.

She didn't see us straight away, and I was grateful for the opportunity to study her from afar, admiring the way the sunlight brought out lighter streaks in her otherwise dark hair, how her eyes looked brighter and bluer than usual, and the way her smile seemed to light up her whole face with such stunning beauty that I wondered how she could ever see me in the same way.

When she saw me, her smile brightened, and she practically skipped to my side, leaving Jasper a step behind her. She was about to lean up to kiss me when she saw Phil and Renee, and she paused, biting her lip as she cast a nervous glance in my mother's direction.

And Renee, bless her, simply winked at me before turning tactfully away, capturing everyone's attention with some comment that I failed to hear.

"Morning, beautiful," I whispered as I leaned down to finally bring my lips to hers. The kiss was sweet, and wasn't what I truly wanted after the way we'd left things yesterday, but I couldn't really get anything else with my mom standing just a few feet away from us.

"It's a little that for that, isn't it?"

"I didn't get the chance to say it this morning." She laughed as her hands found mine, her fingers twisting with my own as she drew me a step closer to her. The heat from her body made my mind flicker back to the memory of yesterday, and I shivered, just barely, but enough for her to feel it.

I could tell by the look in her eyes when they met mine that she had been thinking along the same lines.

"Well, I could certainly get used to waking up to you every day, though I'm not sure I appreciate being interrupted in such a way."

"Mm, I have to agree with you there." I kissed her again, just because she was so close and her damn addicting scent was all around me. When we broke apart, it was barely, so my lips still brushed against hers when I spoke.

"Are you ok, by the way? I never had the chance to ask before."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think you kept that stupid nightmare away."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to stay with you all the time then, just in case it decides to come back."

"Can't argue with that logic." I fought the urge to sigh in relief – I hadn't known whether I was pushing things too far, and I felt a lot better knowing she seemed to need me as much as I needed her. "Want to come over tonight?"

I felt her heartbeat pick up, and I wondered whether she was as afraid of rejection as I was. And if she was, then we were just being stupid by doubting the others' feelings.

Or, alternatively, her mind might be on the path of something else. Like what might have happened if we hadn't been in such a public place yesterday.

Either way, I wasn't going to complain.

"I'd love to." Apparently, she wasn't as good as controlling herself as I was, because I felt her breath leave her lips in the sigh of relief that I had managed to repress. "What, did you think I wouldn't want to?"

"I didn't want to push anything."

"I don't think that's going to happen with me, Alice. Honestly."

"I might just have to test that theory some day."

"I look forward to it." She pulled back slightly, and when her eyes lifted to mine I saw that vulnerability, back once again. I wanted, with everything I had, to tell her, in that moment, how I felt about her. I was beginning to notice the way she acted around me – pretty much exactly the same way _I_ acted around _her_. And if that were any indication, then she was feeling exactly the same things I was.

Including the terror of scaring me off with the feelings she revealed.

There and then wasn't really the time, though, considering the close proximity of our friends and my family.

"Bella, why don't you invite Alice to dinner with me and Phil? We'll take you out somewhere nice. It'll do you some good to get away from this campus." Renee interrupted our moment.

"Only if she wants to come with us."

"I'd love to." So that was that, and we left the other three and piled into Phil's truck. I was hoping there wouldn't be much embarrassing information shared about me in the car, but with my mom, my wish was unlikely to come true.

And, sure enough the baby stories started as soon as the car doors were shut. I groaned and put my head in my hands so I wouldn't have to listen, but I could hear Alice laughing occasionally, which made it slightly more bearable.

At least one of us was having a good time.

Things continued like that for a while, and I was so, so unbelievably happy that my mom and my girlfriend were getting along so well – while Renee hadn't outwardly showed any hostility towards Edward, it was obvious that she didn't like him.

But with Alice, there was none of that, and it was like they'd known each other for longer than just a few hours. Even Phil was making an effort, something which I didn't expect of him but which I was grateful for all the same.

So things were going pretty well, and by the time we'd eaten and were back on campus, everyone was in high spirits. Alice left us soon after with a farewell to Renee and Phil, and a light kiss on the cheek and a whispered 'meet me at my place later' for me.

Phil made excuses and went back to his truck, to 'get ready for the long journey home', but I knew he was just giving me and my mom some time alone.

"So, what did you think?" I asked as soon as he was out of sight. We were wandering aimlessly around, keeping mostly to the more sparsely populated outskirts of the college.

"What, of the food? It was great." Seeing my unamused look, she smiled. "I think she's lovely, Bella, I really do. And I can see that you both care for each other deeply. I'm not going to warn you, because I think you've thought about that far too much already. I can tell."

"Thanks, mom. That means a lot," I murmured, hugging her. "But … how do you think dad will take it?" It was a question I'd been worrying myself with a lot, because I honestly had no idea how he would react.

"I think, if you break it to him easy, he'll take it just fine, even if it does take him a little while to get used to it. Just don't have a repeat of what happened this morning," she laughed, and I was just glad that I had such an easygoing mother who didn't care if she found her daughter in bed with someone else, innocent as mine and Alice's intentions had been. I knew of few who would have taken it so well.

"You really think so?"

"I do, Bells. He loves you, and he always will. Why don't you take Alice home with you this Christmas? Provided she doesn't have plans already, mind you. It'd probably be easier for you to break to him if she was there, and besides, I have no doubt that'll he'll love her right off. Now stop worrying. Now, tell me – how're your classes going?"

Things continued like that for a little while, both of us just taking about inane things, but eventually, she had to leave. I walked her back to Phil and hugged them both goodbye, and I waited until they'd driven around the corner and I could no longer see them before I turned around and went back to my room to change before heading over to Alice's.

I'd just pulled on a new pair of jeans and a purple tank top when there was a light knock on my door. I pulled it open and slipped outside, not needing to come back anyway. Eve stood there, still looking a little worried, and very apologetic.

"Oh my God, Bella, I am _so _sorry about this morning. I never thought - "

"Eve, it's fine, honestly. My mom was cool with it, she didn't care."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Besides, we hadn't exactly been doing anything that she'd have cause to complain about, so there's no problem. Just don't open my door in future." She managed to laugh, and I hoped she wouldn't feel too bad about it for much longer.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something? Danny bailed on me, cos he forgot to do something for someone … I switched off after a while." I hadn't had the chance to catch up with Eve in a while, and I regretted not being able to do so now, but I wasn't going to cancel my plans with Alice, or not tonight at least.

"Sorry, Eve, but I was actually headed over to Alice's … how about sometime this week? Friday night?"

"Sure. Danny probably wont be too happy, but he'll get over it." I was glad to hear that the two of them were still dating – Danny was one of the few decent guys (other than Emmet, Jasper and Alex, of course) that went here. We chatted for a few more minutes before I excused myself and continued on my way.

I was still thinking about what my mom had said – I would love for Alice to come back home with me at Christmas, and I sincerely doubted that, if she had any family plans, that we would actually want to attend them.

And it would also be a relief to have her close when I told Charlie. I wasn't _too _worried about his reaction, but still … having her there would help, I was sure.

I didn't want to ask her right now, though, because I was still (stupidly), afraid of her rejecting me. I _would _ask her, though. Eventually. I had over a month to muster up the courage, anyway.

She'd told me I didn't need to knock anymore, but I still felt weird just walking in, but I knew she'd just tell me of if I _did _knock, so I shook it off and stepped inside, clicking the lock shut behind me.

I could hear the soft sound of music playing through the house, and I shed my jacket and left it on one of the hooks by the door as I passed, using my hearing to determine where Alice was.

Turned out she was in the living room, dressed in much less clothing than she had been when I'd last seen her. She'd probably had just as much skin exposed last night, but even so, I still had to force my eyes to stop travelling the expanse of her bare legs and to meet her own eyes.

She'd been giving me the same assessment, apparently, and she patted the space next to her once we'd both stopped giving each other the once over. I obliged, and the second I sat down she curled against my side and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close as I could.

"Did you have a nice time today?" I hated to break the silence, but I had to ask – I wanted to know if she had just been faking to make me happy.

"Yeah, I did. Your mom's really nice," she replied, her voice soft in the quiet room. We broke into a peaceful silence after that, content to just sit and listen to each other's soft breathing.

"Bella?" Her voice broke me out of the sleep I'd been about to fall into, and when she twisted out of my embrace and turned to face me, biting her lip, I guessed that things were about to get more serious.

"Yeah?"

"I … there's something I feel like I have to tell you. I feel like we're treading on eggshells around each other, and I hate it. I might regret this later, but we'll see.

"I like you. More than I've ever liked anyone else before – even Victoria. She's got nothing on you." She paused briefly to shoot me that gorgeous smile of hers, and I had a feeling that I knew where this was going.

"In fact, I think I'm falling in love with you. And yeah, I know we haven't been going out long, and that I might be scaring you off right now, and that - " I cut her off by practically leaping across the short distance between us, pulling her mouth to mine to silence the rest of her tirade. When we broke apart, mere seconds later (I didn't want to get distracted, I just needed some form of contact), I spoke the words that were on _my _mind:

"Alice, stop worrying. I feel exactly the same way, and I didn't tell you for the exact same reasons. But I think we should stop worrying about scaring each other off, now. It'd be a little hard to deter me from you now, I assure you."

"Same here."

"Speaking of, there's something I want to ask you that I was going to try putting off for a while, but now … Do you want to come back to Forks with me at Christmas? I'd like it if you were there when I come out to my dad, and I know you probably don't want to spend it with your parents …"

"I would _love _to." She kissed me, then, and we didn't speak much after that. I found it hard to separate myself from her, and without even realizing it I was on my back on the couch and she had one leg on either side of my waist, her lips still connected to mine.

When we broke apart, I could see the desire clouding her eyes, and I knew mine must look the same. My hands, at her waist, traced gently across the bare skin from where her shirt had lifted.

Her eyes closed and her breath hitched as my fingers ran higher, but then her hand caught my wrist and her eyes opened, boring into mine, the only sound our ragged breathing.

"Bella … I can't. Not tonight, I'm sorry."

"Assuming a bit much, aren't we?" I tried to keep my voice light, but I know she heard the catch there because a wry smile came over her face.

"Once you reach a certain point there's no going back. And it's not … I just cant today, ok?"

"_Why_? I thought, after yesterday, that …"

"Fuck, Bella, it's not anything to do with you. Yesterday … God, I wanted you so much that I didn't care where we where, or about _anything _- except you. And I want you right now, you have no idea how much, I just … You're going to make me say it, aren't you? It'll ruin the moment." Her eyes were still raging with lust, but there was a little amusement mixed in there too, at my cluelessness. "It's my, um, time of the month."

"Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, moment ruined." I didn't move though. I didn't want to. I enjoyed feeling her on top of me far too much. "There's … _other _stuff we could do, though."

"No there's not. Like I said, there's a point beyond which you can't stop. And with you … that point is much quicker than it would be with anyone else. Yesterday? If we'd have been alone, then _that _would have been it. You're too unbelievably sexy for your own good."

"Have you _seen _you?"

"Have you seen _you_?"

"Ok, fair point. Well, if you're done with the semi-innocent making out, can we go to bed? I'm so tired." She laughed and hopped off me, pulling me up a second later.

"Sure." I waited for her to change before making my way into her bedroom – there was only so much my hormones could take, and half-naked Alice wasn't going to help anything. She tossed me a spare shirt when I joined her, and as I was in the doorway to her bathroom, where I'd decided to change, the sound of her voice made me pause.

"Oh, and Bella? Don't worry - as soon as I'm done, you can have as much of me as you want."

That girl is definitely going to be the death of me. I can see it now – cause of death:

Spontaneous combustion due to lust.

Sounded about right.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:**

**Hey there! Really, really sorry that this hasn't been up sooner, but not only has this last week been insanely busy, but it's also been well, the worst I've had for a while.**

**But here it is anyway :D**

**Oh, and just 'cause I get bored easily: There's a point in this chapter when four questions are asked. First person to review with the people who said them, in the right order, gets … something. Special mention, perhaps? I'll figure something out. You'll know the bit when you read it. **

**Anywho, enough waffling. M rated … things ahead. **

**;)**

The next week flew by, and, before I knew it, it was Friday night again, and I had no plans save from being with Alice … and there was only really one thing that I wanted to do.

Ever since last week, since we'd both taken the plunge and admitted our feelings, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. And knowing we were both ready to take the next step in our relationship … that taunted me more than anything else ever had.

All week, I found myself thinking of highly inappropriate situations involving the two of us, and several times I was caught daydreaming in my lectures. Even whilst sleeping, I got no reprieve. I'd woken up from several … _interesting _dreams over the last few days, each even racier than the last.

But I was still inexplicably nervous as I made my way over to her place on said Friday night. I'd barely seen her all week, as per usual, and I kept having irrational thoughts that she might have changed her mind.

I found out that this definitely wasn't true, however, when I finally made it there. I couldn't hear her straight away, so I wandered cautiously throughout the house, until I was accosted in the kitchen, and her arms encircled my waist as her lips met mine, and she pushed me back so I was pressed against the nearest counter.

"I see that you missed me," I murmured, breathless, when we broke apart. She smiled against my lips and kissed me again, more chastely, before pulling back.

"You have no idea." Her voice was low, and it did things to me that I didn't think we possible from just hearing someone speaking. But they did, and all thoughts of dinner and a movie that she had probably planned out promptly left my mind.

Instead, I slid my fingers into the belt loops of her jeans, pulling her delightfully closer so that our bodies were pressed flush against each other, with only the thin barrier of our clothes separating us.

"I want you. All of you," were the only words I managed to whisper before her mouth was on mine once again, hot and demanding, the feel of her tongue and teeth against my lips sending sensations throughout my body, but most of all between my legs.

If I didn't get my stupid tight jeans of soon, we were going to have a problem.

Her hands tugged me towards her, and then she turned me away from the counter, presumably leading me in the direction of her bedroom. We got there eventually, managing to not break the kiss the whole way there.

As soon as we were inside, she slammed the door and shoved me against it, not hard enough for it to hurt but enough to set ever nerve in body on fire, needing to have more of her.

I complied, my hands dancing to the hem of her shirt, and our lips separated so I could pull it over her head. She removed my own shirt, and then our lips connected again, but more softly this time, our movements not quite as urgent as before.

At some point, we ended up moving to the bed, and she pushed me onto it, and I dragged her with me so that we were in a similar position as last week – with her straddling me.

She pulled back slightly, one of her hands running gently from my shoulder and down to my hip, and then back up again.

"You're so beautiful, Bella. You don't realize, but you _are_. So, so much …" she trailed off, and I was a little entranced by her own body to bother with words. Tentatively, I moved one of my hands from its fixed position as her waist to hesitantly trace the skin higher and higher.

Her eyes fluttered closed, and when my fingers reached the swell of one of her breasts and the thin material of her bra, a soft moan fell from her lips, the most perfect sound that I had ever heard in my life.

Her own ministrations had stopped, whether she knew it or not, but I didn't care. I brought her lips back to mine as I cupped her breasts in both hands, letting my fingers flick over her nipples gently. She bit down on my bottom lips hard as her hips moved – only slightly, but enough to cause the slow fire that had been spreading towards me to turn into a blaze.

In an move I hadn't anticipated, she grabbed both of my hands and pinned them above my head with one of her own, and then her lips ghosted over my neck, alternating between light kisses and harder ones, where she bit lightly at my skin, but never hard enough to leave a mark.

She continued over my collarbone and down, and I twisted slightly beneath her, desperate to have my hands free, but she tightened her grip, refusing to let me go. It wasn't something that I was used to, but I had to admit, not being able to touch her was as arousing as it was infuriating.

When her lips reached the lace of the black bra I was wearing, she kissed around the edge of it before taking one of my nipples between her lips, teasing it through the soft material. I twisted more violently than before and bit my lips to stop from moaning, but she noticed and bit down slightly before pulling back.

"No-one's going to hear you, Bella. You don't have to be quiet if you don't want to." She never removed her lips from my skin as she spoke, and I shivered at the feeling of her warm breath against my now damp skin.

She moved to my other breast before unclipping my bra, and it was only then that she released my hands, allowing me to remove her own. I surprised her by flipping us over so that I was on top of her, and I let my leg slip between her own, so that my thigh was pressed against her centre. Her hips bucked up slightly and I groaned because her leg was between mine as well, and the feeling of her digging her nails into my back was making me feel things of a depth that I had never felt before.

I let my mouth explore her body as she had mine, pausing at the places that made her hand tighten in my hair, or her hips to push into me, or caused my name or a moan to fall from her lips.

I soon reached the top of her jeans and tugged them down quickly, and removed my own at the same time, before I moved back up her legs to kiss the inside of her thighs. I could see, through the thin material of her red panties, how wet she was already, and the thought that that was all because of me made me realize just how clueless I actually was about all of this.

"Alice … I don't - "

"Stop worrying about it and do whatever you've just been doing, because God, Bella, I find it hard to believe that you've never done this before." Her voice was breathless, her hair messed up beyond its usually messiness, and a light sheen of sweat covered her body.

As hesitant as I had been before, I pulled the last remaining item of clothing that hid her from me from her body and tossed them to the floor. I moved back up to her lips to kiss her once more, leaving one of my hands between her legs, teasing her before I cautiously let one of my fingers run the length of her, and there wasn't even a word to describe how amazing she felt underneath me.

I pushed one of my fingers gently into her, and her hips bucked against my hand as a soft groan escaped her mouth.

"Fuck, Bella. Don't … don't stop. Please." So I didn't, and I quickly found a rhythm that suited both of us, and when I added another finger she whispered my name softly before words seemed to be beyond her.

Maybe I did know what I was doing, after all.

I kept up the same pace as I let my thumb brush lightly over her most sensitive spot, and her nails dug into my back again, causing me to moan into her neck, where I pressed a hard kiss against her skin.

"Let it go, Alice, just let it go …" I let my thumb move over her again, keeping the same rhythm as my fingers, and I felt her start to tighten beneath me, and then my name fell off her lips like a caress as her eyes squeezed shut and her orgasm finally washed over her.

It was only when she stopped moving underneath me that I stopped moving inside her, and I fell to her side, pulling her around to face me. We were both breathing as heavily as each other, and when her eyes opened they were an even deeper blue than ever before, brimming with emotion and desire and something else.

"I love you." She kept eye contact with me as she said it, and when she pressed her lips to mine I responded with equal fervor to the kiss, whispering the same words back to her when we broke apart.

And I meant them, because with every part of my heart, soul and body, I loved her. I would have given anything for her, _done _anything for her, and I couldn't, at that moment, ever imagine myself as being with someone other than her. I could see a similar sentiment behind her eyes, but neither of us uttered the words – there wasn't any need.

"So, did I live up to your expectations?" I asked teasingly while we waited for out heart rates to return to normal.

"That and more. Seriously, are you _sure _you haven't done that before?"

"Nope."

"I don't believe you." She didn't let me respond then, though, because she moved on top of me again, her lips once again moving with mine. The urgency built up gradually as we kissed, but it was still there – I still had my underwear on and doubted I would ever be able to wear them again after tonight, soaked as they were.

She pulled them halfway down my legs while still kissing me, and I managed to push them the rest of the way down myself, and she pressed herself against me, the heat from her body igniting mine, but I didn't ever think she would be close enough.

The feeling of her lips and tongue on my bare chest caused me to cry out much louder than I had before, and I felt her soft smirk against my skin rather than saw it, because my eyes had fallen shut, unbeknownst to me, and my hands were twisted in the bed sheets.

She moved back up to my lips after finishing with my breasts, and I was grateful for the slight break so that I could attempt to get my breathing a little more regular than it currently was.

"Do you trust me?" She asked, her voice much huskier than it had been before.

"Of course I do, silly. Why?" I didn't get an answer though, because she was gone a second later.

"Good." The air behind the word touched me in the least unexpected of places, and it was only then that understanding dawned. My eyes flickered open just as I felt her tongue touch me, flicking idly over my clit while on of her fingers toyed with me.

"Oh God." That was all I could manage before her fingers slid into me as her tongue moved _over _me, and I was completely gone, then, only able to revel in the sensations she was causing me to feel, because I knew that opening my eyes and actually _seeing _her head between my legs would cause me to let go much too quickly.

As it was, I could already feel my orgasm building, my muscles tightening in my stomach, and even though I tried to hold on I couldn't for much longer. When I did eventually give in, I'd never felt such intense pleasure, heightened by the fact that she didn't stop her ministrations, even after I had come, which, after a few more minutes, only caused me to do so again.

She stopped after the second and kissed her way back to my lips, were she paused, waiting for me to finally open my eyes. I did so, and seeing her own smoldering blue eyes gazing into mine pretty much made me ready for another round. She kissed me, then, and I could taste myself on her lips, something that I wouldn't have found nearly as sexy if it was with anyone but her.

I wanted, more than anything, to taste _her_, but doubted that either of us would be able to handle that straight away. So instead, I pulled her closer to me, curling up on my side as she slung her arm over my waist, my chin resting on the top of her head. The feel of her breath, warm against my neck, calmed me down, and in trying to sync my breathing with her own, I started to feel the tug of sleep on the edge of my consciousness, and I fell into it gratefully, feeling more content than I had for a long time.

Waking up with a very naked Alice still wrapped in my arms is probably one of the best experiences of my whole life. With last night included in that list, of course.

She was still sleeping, and I was content to just watch her for a while, having nothing better to do. She was, if it were possible, even more beautiful when she was sleeping, and I could have stayed there all day.

I couldn't go that long without touching her, however, and I twisted away from her slightly, just enough to put a little space between us so I could move one of my arms from being wrapped around her back.

My fingers ran gently over her lower leg and up her thigh, tracing the curve of her hip and then each of her ribs until I skimmed the side of her breast softly. I barely made any contact with her skin, but her eyes cracked open anyway, a soft smile gracing her face when they met mine.

"I think this is the best way to wake up. Ever."

"I have to agree." She rolled so that we were facing each other, both on our sides, and she pressed her lips to mine briefly before pulling back.

"I need a shower. Care to join me?" But she already knew my answer – no _way _could I resist that offer.

It must have been about two hours later when we could finally stop touching each other for long enough to actually leave her house in order to get some food (and coffee). We settled down a little way away from the table where we usually sat, but the guys apparently didn't get the message that we wanted to be alone because the four of them joined us soon after.

I sighed, using their presence as an excuse to tug Alice's chair closer using my foot, under the pretense of creating more space. She shuffled as close to me as she could and leaned back against me.

"You two _so _got laid last night!" Evidently, Emmet couldn't keep his thoughts to himself this early in the morning, and I lifted my eyes to his and gave him my best Rosalie-glare, which only made him grin even more.

"Babe, leave them alone."

"No way! Tell me – I want _all _the details." I rolled my eyes and studiously ignored him (and the slap that Rose issued to the side of his head), but in looking away from him I caught Jasper's eye. He raised an eyebrow at me meaningfully and I nodded as discretely as I could, which made his eyes light up.

"I'm going to get another drink – you want anything, Bella?" Alice's voice spared me from any more awkward questions, if only for a moment. I had several answers that would have been more appropriate were we alone, so I swallowed them all and just shook my head. As soon as she had left the table, four pairs of eyes swiveled to me.

"So? How was it?"

"What happened?"

"Tell me everything!"

"How many times did you do it? Her place or yours?"

I groaned and buried my head in my hands, hoping to evade the questions for a little while, really not wanting to give out any details of my sex life. It wasn't anything I had ever been comfortable with, and I couldn't see that changing anytime soon, even though I knew it would likely upset my friends, Jasper especially.

I was sure they'd get over it eventually, though.

The second Alice was back I stood abruptly, and she gave me a questioning glance, which I was sure mirrored the expressions of the other four.

"I need to go … for a walk." The silent question of her coming with me didn't need to be asked, because she nodded and followed me out. I said nothing to the others, not wanting to be around them and their stupid questions all of a sudden.

"Do you actually want to go for a walk or was that just an excuse?" It had been, but then an idea struck me.

"Well … could we go back to the waterfall?" Her eyes lit up and she took my hand, still nursing her coffee in the other, as she led me through the forest once more. Conversation flowed easily back and forth between us, and I was so, so glad that last night hadn't changed anything.

I had been scared that it would, I admit, but I hadn't been able to think such things last night … occupied as I was. Those thoughts hadn't even crossed my mind this morning, not really. It had only been on the way to the coffee shop that my fears had acknowledged themselves, and it was only for them to be reassured, because the only thing that had changed was that there was less fear between us and more sexual tension than before, which was never going to be a problem.

The waterfall was as beautiful as it had been before, and we curled up next to it, still talking about mundane things that didn't really matter.

"Fancy a swim?" She asked after a few minutes of silence, both of us just staring at each other, no words needed.

"What? I haven't brought anything."

"You don't need it, silly. Come on." She pulled me to my feet and then let go of my hand, walking backwards, nearing the water's edge. As she walked, she stripped off her shirt and then shimmied out of her jeans, leaving her in only the blue lace underwear that I had watched her put on this morning.

Then she turned and dived smoothly into the water, resurfacing a few moments later, in the middle of the plunge pool.

"Come on!" She called, and, after shaking my head, I quickly removed my own clothes and leapt in after her. She was at my side a second later, her hands running over my skin as her lips kissed my neck teasingly.

The water was freezing, but the heat she was currently making me feel cancelled that out, and I focused instead of the feeling of her lips and hands on my skin, content once again.

She pulled back to kiss me, our tongues twining together as I pushed her gently backwards until her back was pressed against one of the rock walls of the pool, where we could both stand up. My hands gripped her hips as hers twisted in my hair, holding me close to her.

Then her hands were moving downwards, bypassing my breasts and tugging my underwear down far enough for her to slip her hand between my legs. After how many times we'd been together this morning, it was hard to believe that we weren't satiated with each other, but we weren't.

I managed to slip her own underwear part way down her legs, and we moved our fingers into each other at the same time, both moaning at the sensation, the sound lost in the cavern of the others' mouth.

We moved in perfect sync, as though we had been together for years rather than weeks, and I could feel myself getting closer to the edge as I felt her walls tighten around my fingers, signifying she was close as well.

I moved my fingers with a greater sense of urgency, and she matched my pace with ease. My other hand grabbed her hip to pull her closer, and I could feel myself growing closer and closer as she worked me with ease, and I finally came hard, with her following mere seconds after.

When we broke apart, our lips separating as I swam backwards a little, we were both breathless, but it was totally worth it.

We stayed in the pool for a while longer, not having anything better to do on a Saturday, though soon we began to tire and climbed out, pulling on our clothes on quickly, attempting to warm up.

I was reluctant to go back, lest I run into my friends once more, but we didn't really have much choice, needing to change our clothes before we caught hypothermia. So, I let her pull me once more through the maze of undergrowth, happy with the knowledge that we didn't have to separate from each other for while yet.

Weekends really were the best thing ever.

Well, on second though, the second best thing – because, of course, Alice Brandon was the best thing ever.

By far.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **

**Hi again! **

**Only two chapters left, after this one! They're both written, and I'm going to try and put the next up in four days, and then the last four days after that. **

**And then that's it! Depressing, right? Because I **_**totally **_**don't have any other ideas planned … and definitely not two. **

**But I'll talk more about them when the last chapter of this is up. **

**Oh, aaaand ILoveUbers, you **_**were **_**the only one got the right order, and because you left an awesome review, if you p.m me, I can send you the first few chapters of nineteen, if you want, before anyone else gets it. :)**

**Review if you want me to stay happy ;)**

"Bella! Hey." Alice came sprinting over to me. How she had seen my amongst so many people was beyond me, because it was the middle of the day and the campus was crawling with students wanting to get some lunch. She leaned up to kiss me, too briefly, before pulling back. "Are you coming to the talent show?"

"Talent show?" I eyed her dubiously, not knowing where this conversation was headed. I'd heard about the annual talent show that Carmel held each year around Christmas time, but I hadn't really expressed any interest in attending.

"Yeah, you must have heard about it. They're flyers everywhere."

"Yeah, but what about it?"

"Are you _going_? Keep up, babe, you're a bit slow today."

"Watch it, or you won't be getting any tonight." She grinned and kissed me again, but a little longer and with a little more tongue than last time.

"You were saying?"

"Oh, shut it. What's so important about this talent show, anyway?"

"Nothing, if you don't go."

"And if I _do _go?"

"It'll be a surprise."

"I _hate _surprises," I groaned, but I was already giving in and she knew it. Her eyes lit up as she threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug.

"Yay! Don't worry, it'll be a nice surprise, I promise!" She was gone then, spinning away and running towards the arts building. I stared after her for a few minutes, shaking my head in disbelief.

It had been three weeks since that fateful first night we'd spent together, and things were going great. Even my friends had noticed the chance in Alice's behavior – she was a lot happier these days, more chipper. Emmet had joked that it was because I was so good in bed, but I doubted that was the reason.

Or the sole one, anyway. I _was _pretty damn good. Not as good as her, of course, but still. Not that I was, you know, bragging or anything.

I had a feeling, one that I was pretty sure was true, that the reason for her perkiness was the fact that she was in love with me. Call me obnoxious, but ever since she'd said those three little words, she'd seemed elated.

And I felt the same way, but I just didn't show it as openly as she did.

I was on my way to my last lecture of the day, but it was two hours long. I sighed as I slid into my seat, wishing that it was Friday already. I had to go to that stupid talent show, sure, but I'd be free, and I was excited to be heading home, to get to see my dad and my other friends from Forks high. Not to mention seeing Jake again.

And, of course, getting to take Alice with me.

That was the main reason for my excitement – two weeks of time spent with her, without stupid distractions like college work. And two (mainly) free weeks of my teasing from my friends.

I say mainly because of course, Emmet lived just on the outskirts of Forks, and Rose was spending the holidays with him. They were both headed to her parents' place for New Year, but the rest of the time they were close to me.

I was glad, in a way, because I would definitely miss those guys over the holidays if I didn't see them. Jasper was even heading down for a few days, staying in the Cullen household.

So all in all, it was shaping up to be a damn good holiday. I wasn't even _that _worried about coming out to my dad. Well, ok, maybe I was a little. But I knew I'd have Alice with me, and I didn't think he'd take the news _too _badly.

I had to tell Jake, too, which I wasn't so hot about. Knew he still had feelings for me, and had no idea how he would react to me having a girlfriend. I knew he'd be overjoyed about me breaking up with Edward, but how he'd react to Alice … I had no idea.

I could push those to the back of mind, though, for now, because I was content to just think of the good things that were going to happen in the holidays, as opposed to the bad.

Before I knew it, Friday rolled around, and suddenly, I didn't have anything to do with my time. The mood of everyone in my last lecture was impatient, and when the hour was finally up, we all sped out of there as fast as we could.

I met up with Alice at her place straight after, not having any work to do straight away. That was my usually routine – get all of my work out of the way on the Friday afternoon so I could spend the whole weekend with her.

I was greeted with a kiss as she opened the door for me, apparently awaiting my arrival, and she pushed my back against the door as soon as I was through it, her hands tugging of my coat and tossing it onto the nearest chair without breaking the kiss.

She tasted like chocolate, and I could smell it, too, suggesting she'd been cooking. When we broke apart for air, I weaseled out of her embrace to make my way to the kitchen. Sure enough, a tub of brownies lay on the counter.

"You made me brownies?" I asked hopefully. Alice was the best cook I had ever met, and her food was practically orgasmic.

Especially the chocolate type.

"No. I made your _father _brownies. I thought it might make him warm up to me a little bit." She shifted a little, obviously uncomfortable thinking about meeting my dad, but then she caught sight of my disappointed expression and laughed. "But if you're good, I might let you have one."

"Oh?" I arched an eyebrow and made my way back over to her, my hands going around her waist and pulling her to me. "And what, exactly, does that entail?"

"Well, mainly you just have to - " I cut her off with a searing kiss, getting lost in her once again, wanting nothing more than to rip all her clothes off and take her against the kitchen counter.

If you can't already tell, it had been a while since we'd had sex.

Five days is a _long _time when Alice Brandon is your girlfriend, let me tell you.

I'd managed to tug her shirt over her head and press her back against said kitchen counter, and I had her jeans undone when we heard a knock on the door. I pulled back, but she shook her head, pulling my shirt of to gain my attention.

"Ignore it," she breathed, her eyes darkening by the second as her hands trailed over my skin, her hands cupping my breasts gently, making my moan softly as she kissed me again. The person knocked again, but I couldn't tear myself away from here for long enough to care.

That was probably why we didn't hear the door opening and the footsteps coming down the hall, either. We did, however, hear the shocked voices that ensued when we were discovered.

"Oh my _God_! Stop. Touching. Each, Other!"

"Dude, that it _hot_."

"You've been here for what, five seconds and you're already half-naked?"

"This is so _not _how I wanted to start the holidays."

I turned to glare at my friends, not caring in the slightest about the fact that I was shirtless, and more about the fact that I was being cockblocked by their crappy timing.

"Do you two not know how to separate for long enough to open a door? We knocked, like, three times."

"Get out while we get dressed." They had the sense not to mess with horny-Bella, who was even more irritable than morning-Bella, and the four of them traipsed into the other room.

As soon as they'd gone, Alice burst into a fit of giggles, and after a second I joined her as I grabbed my shirt from where it had been tossed and pulled it on. After she ran a hand through her hair, trying to make it look as though I hadn't just had my hands running through it, we made our way into the living room, where Rose and Emmet were smirking and Jasper and Alex were looking mortified.

"You'd better have a fucking good reason to be here."

"We came to see if you wanted to catch some food with us before the talent show started." Alice and Jasper exchanged a meaningful look that I didn't understand. They'd been spending a lot of time together recently.

"Yeah, we'll come." I turned to give Alice my best disbelieving look, but she winked and grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

I sighed but couldn't really refuse, not when this would be our last chance to be together as a group, at least not for a few weeks. We took two cars and went to a little-known restaurant just outside the college limits.

Conversation flowed with ease between the six of us, and I couldn't help remarking on how far we'd all come since the start of the year.

Jasper was no longer hung up on the asshole that had broken his heart last year. He was happy with Alex, and I was pretty sure that he had finally lost his virginity, though I'd never asked him outright.

Alex, though I hadn't known him before he'd met Jasper, had also changed for the better. He had come out of his shell a little more, and he was a lot more outgoing than he had been when I'd first met him.

Emmet was much the same, except he and I were much, much closer than we had been at the start of the year. I had always liked him, but now … well, beneath his teasing exterior, I knew he really, truly cared about me, and I knew I could trust him no matter what.

Rosalie was much less of a bitch than she had been at the start of the year. True, I hadn't really known her beforehand, but still, I'd heard things. And I thought the progress she had made with Alice … especially knowing that it was all for me, was pretty dammed amazing.

But out of all of us, it was me and Alice who had changed the most. I thought of how we'd been at the start of the year – I'd been with a complete ass, thinking I was in love with him and having little confidence in myself. And she, well she had been hooking up with a different girl each night, whilst being high and or drunk.

But now? Now we were happy together. I could finally be true to myself, _accept _myself, in a way I doubted I would have been able to with anyone else. And I knew what true love was now I was with her. And she did, too. Not to mention how much she'd opened up to me, how much she'd let go of her past, in every way.

If we'd all changed so much in just four months, I dreaded to think what we'd be like when June rolled around.

We made our way back to the college an hour before the talent show started, and we all went our separate ways to get changed. I tried to persuade Alice that I really only needed five minutes to get changed, and that we could do _far _more productive things in the other fifty minutes, but she shook her head with a mysterious smile and left me.

Sighing, I decided I may as well make an effort for once. I showered and blow dried my hair, curling it after (Jasper had bought me some curlers three days after my first date with Alice). I stood staring into my wardrobe for a while, pondering what to wear. I eventually settled on a black silk dress that wasn't _too _short, and put on one of those rare pairs of heels that I owned. After applying a little make-up, I was ready to go.

Emmet and Rose were already there when I arrived, and Jasper and Alex trolled up a few minutes later.

Alice was nowhere to be seen.

It didn't bother me so much at first – I knew how long she could take deciding hat to wear. But when we had just ten minutes before the show began, I started to worry.

"I'm sure she just got caught up with something. Come on, she can find us inside." Jasper took my arm with a far too innocent smile, and I started to get suspicious. Something was going on here, I just didn't know what.

And apparently, I was the only one not privy to the joke, because the other four didn't seem concerned by my girlfriend's no-show.

The show started, and I got restless. The others tried to include me in conversation, but I wasn't really participating, too agitated to enjoy myself. I was tempted to ring her, but when I got my phone out Jasper caught my wrist.

"Stop worrying, I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason for being late." I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn't react. Damn. Jasper was an awful liar, and was definitely the weakest link.

His own phone went off pretty loudly and he swore, mumbling that he should have put it on silent.

"Excuse me Bella, but I need to pee. Let me out." I did, but not before giving him another one of my suspicious glances. I was about to go after him, sure he didn't _really _need the toilet, or at least so I could call Alice, but as I stood up Alex grabbed the edge of my dress, pulling my back down.

I sighed, accepting that I wasn't going to be able to get out of here easily. As the guy on the stage started to introduce the next person, I debated the ways I could escape.

"And next, ladies and gentlemen, we have Alice Brandon." My head whipped around to face the stage so fast that it was a wonder I didn't get whiplash. But sure enough, she was there, looking very nervous with all the attention she was getting. But the only sing of nervousness that she showed was anxiously smoothing down her light blue dress.

Then the music started playing, and she started singing, and everything just … disappeared. There was nothing but me and her, and the song. I knew it was aimed towards me, because her eyes locked with mine, and the depth of emotion, of _love _shining in them was enough to take my breath away.

_Don't know much about your life_

_Don't know much about your world, but_

_Don't wanna be alone tonight_

_On this planet they call Earth_

_You don't know about my past_

_And I don't have a future figured out_

_And maybe this is going to fast_

_And maybe it's not meant to last_

_But what do you say to taking chances?_

_What do you say to jumping off the edge?_

_Never knowing if there's solid ground below_

_Or hand to hold_

_Or hell to pay_

_What do you say?_

_I just wanna start again_

_Maybe you could show me how to try_

_Maybe you could take me in_

_Somewhere underneath your skin_

_What do you say to taking chances?_

_What do you say to jumping off the edge?_

_Never knowing if there's solid ground below_

_Or hand to hold_

_Or hell to pay_

_What do you say?_

_My heart is beating down_

_But I always come back for more_

_There's nothing like love to pull you up_

_When you're lying down on the floor_

_So talk to me, talk to me_

_Like lovers do_

_Walk with me, walk with me_

_Like lover's do_

_What do you say? _

_What do you say?_

_Don't know much about your life_

_Don't know about your world … _

It summed everything up that had happened between us easily. _Everything. _Her eyes never left mine once, and I just let her voice wash over me. It had been so, so long since I had heard her sing, and she sounded better than ever now.

Maybe it was just because she meant everything she said. I could see the passion radiating off her as she sang, because she believed in the words of the song.

And I could see how.

When she finished, there was a soft smile on her face as she looked at me, and I had to blink away tears because, God, that had been so beautiful.

"That was an early Christmas present for some very special to me who's here tonight. And so is this next song, but there's someone else who's going to help me with it. Jasper?"

I think my jaw just about fell to the floor in astonishment. I couldn't believe that Jasper, of all people, was going to go on _stage _and sing. And apparently, neither could Alex, because when I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, I saw disbelief written all over his face.

But he walked out from the left side of the stage, now dressed in dark pants and a white shirt. He ran a hand through his hair before seating himself in front of the piano that was on stage. The next second, Alice had her guitar in her hands.

He and Alice exchanged a quick glance, and he started playing. She joined him after a few seconds, and she started singing once more:

_Shadows fill an empty heart,_

_As love is fading_

_From all the things that we are, _

_Are not saying_

_Can we see beyond the scars, _

_And make it to the dawn?_

_Change the colors of the sky_

_And open up to_

_The ways you make me feel alive_

_The ways I love you_

_Through all the things that never died_

_To make it through the night_

_Love will find you_

_What about now?_

_What about today?_

_What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be_

_What if our love, never went away?_

_What if it's lost behind, words we could never find_

_Baby, before it's too late_

_What about now?_

_The sun is breaking in your eyes_

_To start a new day_

_This broken heart can still survive_

_With a touch of your grace_

_Shadows fade into the light_

_And I am by your side where love will find you_

_What about now?_

_What about today?_

_What if you're making me, all that I was meant to be_

_What if our love, never went away?_

_What if it's lost behind, words we could never find_

_Baby, before it's too late_

_What about now?_

_Now that we're here_

_Now that we've come this far_

_Just hold on_

_There is nothing to fear_

_For am I right beside you_

_For all my life _

_I am yours_

_Baby before it's too late_

_What about now?_

Once again, she sang directly to me, and the world melted away. I was distantly aware of Jasper joining in her singing for the chorus, and that he was looking at Alex, but everything else just … ceased to exist. There was only me and her.

I couldn't stop a few tears escaping this time, because it was even more perfect than the first song, and when they'd stopped playing, I wasn't the only one applauding them, but I was definitely the loudest.

I gave some excuse to the others about where I was going, but I didn't think it was needed. Alex followed me, and as soon as we were outside the main theatre Alice threw herself into my arms.

"Did you like it?" Her voice held uncontained glee as she pulled away from embrace enough to meet my eyes. Hers were bright, and her whole face just seemed to … glow. She always looked beautiful to me, but this, this was something different. She looked even more so tonight, after being on stage, after singing in front of so many people. She looked invigorated, and yet the only thing she cared about was what _I _thought.

"I loved it. And I love _you_." I kissed her softly, sweetly, and when I pulled away she look, if it were even possible, even more overjoyed than before.

"Come on. I have another early present in mind." The look in her eyes told me very clearly what it would involve, and suddenly we couldn't be at her place fast enough. Jasper and Alex didn't notice us leaving, as wrapped up in each other as they were, so we slipped away without incident.

The walk seemed to be miles long, all of a sudden, so halfway there I pulled her close to me and kissed her again, but with more heat, more passion, than before, knowing we didn't have audience.

We reacted in kind, and in a very short space of time we were both breathing heavily and wanting more of the other. It was near run to get to our destination after that, and much laughing ensued as we kept stumbling in the near-darkness.

We were still laughing when we made it in sight of Alice's door, but there was already someone there, waiting on the steps. As soon as I'd seen the person, Alice froze, the laughter dying from her lips as she stopped walking, pulling me to a halt at the same time.

The figure stood up and came a few steps closer to us, and the light illuminated features that looked astoundingly similar to those of the girls' who had such a tight hold on my hand.

"Alice. Hey. It's been a while." She didn't sound particularly comfortable, and she ran a hand through her hair nervously, much like Jasper had before.

"What do you want, Cynthia?" Alice's voice was composed, but her hand shook in mine and when I glanced at her I saw a cold, stony expression on her face, reminiscent of the Alice she had been before we'd gotten to know each other.

"Um, Alice, maybe I should go. I can come back lat - "

"No! No, don't go. Please." She turned to me with a desperate look, pleading in her eyes, and really, there was no way I could resist that.

"Alright," I sighed, not really wanting to be stuck in the middle of a Brandon-family confrontation. Alice hadn't really ever mentioned much about her sister. She looked to be a year or so younger than she was, so she had to be around my age.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"No. You wouldn't just drop by for no reason. What do you want?"

"Mom and dad aren't very happy you aren't coming home for Christmas." Oh, shit. That was my fault. But Alice emitted a slightly hysterical laugh, and I knew she would much rather be with me than her family.

"_What_? Since when did they give a fuck?"

"Since now. Things are different, you know. You should come home and see." There was an earnest expression on Cynthia's face, and I wondered if she as telling the truth of if she was just blissfully naïve.

"No, they're not. They heard that I was going to stay with my _girl_friend, didn't they? They wouldn't give a fuck if I was staying with a guy."

"They would."

"Don't kid yourself, Cynth. Look, tell them you begged and cried, whatever. I'm not going. I'd rather spend the holidays with some who _actually _cares about me, loves me for who I am. Not people who hate me for being myself."

"Alice I …" She trailed off, and for a moment, just a moment, I thought she was going to show some compassion for what her sister had been through.

"What?" Alice's voice was still hard, but I heard a slight wavering in there, as if she hoped her sister would come around, too. I was screaming in my head for Cynthia to say _anything _useful.

"Never mind. They said if you don't want to come back then you may as well never come back, except to get your stuff." I felt Alice recoil beside me, and I knew that whatever walls she put around her family life, she still loved them and yearned for their acceptance. I worried, for a brief second, if her resolve would shatter and she would go home. I knew that that would probably be the end for us, if she wanted to make things work with her family, and I _knew _she did, whatever she said. I felt my heart constrict painfully at the thought of losing her, and my hand tightened around hers, as though hoping to force her to stay with me.

"Fine. I'll be by soon."

"But your college application's been paid, so you can wait out your course, if you want. Just don't come back."

"Fine. You can go now." If I had thought her voice was cold before, it was nothing compared to how it was now. I saw Cynthia throw one last glance at Alice before she turned and left.

Just like that. No goodbyes.

I pulled Alice with me into the house, locking the door behind us. She didn't seem to be able to function on her own yet, so I led her to the couch and sat her down, throwing myself next to her.

And just like that, the floodgates opened and she was crying on my shoulder once again. I just held her, letting her pour out her pain and her sorrow, not knowing what else to do. I don't know how long we stayed like that for, but it seemed like hours to me.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled when she pulled back.

"For what? Don't be sorry. If anything, _I'm _sorry."

"What? Don't be sorry for me just because I have a shitty family. Well, used to." She sighed, and I knew that it would be a while before she got over this. "I always knew that they didn't accept me, but I never thought …"

"I know, sweetie. They shouldn't have said that. But you can live with me when we get out of this place. Promise." She smiled then, and I placed a chaste kiss to her lips. "Now come on, we've got a big day tomorrow."

And we did. We were driving back down to Forks, to face part of _my _family, not to mention my best friend. But, we'd have each other, and really, that was the only thing that nattered to me lately.


	19. Chapter 19

The alarm woke the two of us up pretty early the next morning, and I groaned as the blaring sound jarred me into consciousness. Alice shut it off, but not before we were both wide awake.

"I'm going for a shower," she mumbled, hand searching for the light switch by the bed. "Care to join me?" I did, but I knew for a fact that if I did we'd be in there for much, much longer than we should. The only reason we were even up this early was avoid various rush hours on the long journey to Forks.

"I would, but …"

"Yeah, yeah, time and all that jazz. Ok. Want me to meet you at your room when I've packed?"

"M'kay. See you in a few." I managed to get dressed without putting anything on backwards, which was an achievement for me at this time in the morning. The weak sunlight that filtered through the clouds hurt my eyes a little when I stepped outside, but I soon got used to it.

I opened the door to my room quietly, not wanting to wake Eve up if she was still around. A few people had gone home last night, and I couldn't remember whether or not she had been one of them.

I had most of my stuff together, but there were a few things that I hadn't packed yet. I was showered and ready to go in record time, back in my usual attire of jeans and a t-shirt.

When Alice arrived I was only half ready, so she perched on the edge of my couch and watched me, apparently finding that the most interesting thing to do. A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door.

"It's open!" I called, too engrossed in deciding what clothes to take with me to be bothered opening the door.

"Hey, Bella. Alice." It was Emmet, and Rosalie was at his side. I had known they were leaving at a similar time to us, but I'd said my goodbyes to them last night because I hadn't counted on seeing them this morning. He looked _very _uncomfortable. Stopping what I was doing I went and leaned against the couch next to Alice.

"What's up?"

"Well …" He sighed before he carried on. "My parents, they're having a get together on Boxing Day. You're dad's invited, but he hasn't accepted 'cause he wasn't sure what you two wanted to do."

"Of course we'll be there."

"But, um … well, Edward's going to be there." There was silence in the room, and Alice's head whipped around to face me. She could tell by the fact that Emmet had even brought him up that I hadn't mentioned the encounter the three of us had had. Or what had nearly happened. Her next words confirmed as much.

"You haven't told them?" She hissed, her voice low, but I saw both Emmet and Rose notice something was up. I shook my head, and she managed to look furious and disbelieving at the same time.

"I, um, I'll think about it. But we'll probably still be there." Again, I saw her throw me a look, but I pointedly ignored her. "Thanks for the warning."

"No problem. I just thought you should know. Oh, and that, er thing you asked me to take care of?" His eyes widened slightly as he looked at me, and I suppressed a grin.

"Yeah?"

"It's done."

"Cool." The two of them left after that, with the promise they would see us soon. I sighed and went back to my packing.

"I can't believe you didn't tell them."

"What was I supposed to do? He's Emmet's brother. I don't want to come between them. What he did was awful, yeah, but it didn't happen. You saved me. And … well, I guess I'm over it by now. I'll never forget, but … I don't know. I just … I just couldn't do that to them."

"Ok. I don't _like _it, or the fact that we're going to be in the same town as him. And we'll have to see him at that party, because I _know _you're going to go. You'll have to keep me from kicking the shit out of him, though."

"I will. I'll keep hold of you all night if that's what it takes." A brief smile flashed across her face, but it was lost to a frown a second later.

"He won't be happy about you taking your new girlfriend to his get together."

"It's not _his _get together. It's Carlisle's and Esme's. And they love me, they won't mind."

"Even though you dumped their son?"

"Yeah. I mean, come on, what's not to like?" I'd finished packing by now and stood in front of her.

"That's true. There isn't one unlikable quality about you," she murmured as she stood to kiss me softly, sweetly. "But he's not going to take it so well."

"You just had to ruin the mood, didn't you?"

"Someone had to. I know that look, and you're the one who wants to get going so fast. But keep looking at me like that, and, well … you won't be going _anywhere_. Except for that bed right there." She lowered her voice as she spoke and my hands tightened on her waist as my mind flew to highly inappropriate places. I knew our time together would be limited in the next few weeks.

"And now who's got her mind in the gutter?"

"Me? Oh, come on. I'm totally innocent here."

"Liar. You were never innocent."

"Well, that's true." We kissed again, and this was more heated, an echo of the desire we felt for each other. I pulled back just before I got to the point where I knew I'd want to start ripping her clothes off and stepped back.

"To get back to what started all of this: no, he won't take it well, but that's not my problem. Except Charlie will have to know beforehand."

"You wanna tell him straight away?" She wrapped her arms around me I let my head rest on her shoulder, that damn perfume she always wore infecting my senses and making me feel a little lightheaded. I didn't move away, though.

"I don't know. I think that'll probably be best, but if he doesn't take it so well …"

"I'm sure he will." She kissed the top of my head and we stayed like that for a little while, before time caught up with us again.

"Well, I guess we'd better go."

"Yup. Oh, and what's the 'thing' Emmet was on about?" I grinned as I picked up my suitcase and made my way out of the door.

"Wow, you don't miss a trick, do you? And it was nothing."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Don't you trust me?"

"With my life, but I think you're covering something up here."

"Me?"

"Yep." I laughed as we reached my car. We hauled our bags into the trunk before sliding into the seats.

"Look, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." I turned to face her, giving her a look I knew she couldn't refuse. Sure enough, she sighed and pouted before letting it go. We moved onto a different topic of conversation.

In reality, I'd asked Emmet to take one of Alice's Christmas presents home with him, because it was pretty big and she'd know what it was straight away when we saw it. So, I planned to head over to Emmet's place on Christmas Eve without her noticing. I could only hope that she'd like it as much as I had liked her early present to me. They were, after all, kind of related.

It took us four hours to get to Forks, though it seemed like we'd only been on the road for a few minutes when the welcome sign loomed in front of us. I didn't know whether my dad would be working or not, but when I pulled up at the side of the house, his police cruiser was there, and the man himself appeared after a few moments, a huge grin on his face as he opened my car door for me. As soon as I was out he hugged me, a gesture I was surprised at – he was worse than me when it came to expressing emotion.

"Hey Bells! God, it's been quiet around here without you. And this must be your friend. Alice, right?" Alice came to stand next to us, looking more uncomfortable than I had ever seen her.

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you Mr. Swan."

"Please, call me Charlie." He looked like he considered pulling her into a hug, too, but decided against it, shaking her hand instead. He helped us carry our stuff inside and then headed off to work with the promise he'd be back in time for dinner. And Alice definitely won him over with the brownies.

"So," I said, when he'd gone, "what do you wanna do for the next few hours?" I already knew what _I_ wanted to do, and from the smirk that crossed her face a second later, I knew she was thinking the same thing.

So we christened the bedroom.

And the couch.

And the kitchen counter.

Oh, and the shower.

It _had_ been a while.

A knock at the door drew us out of the sleepy state that all that nakedness had put us into, and it was with reluctance that I drew away from her and pulled the first clothes I found on and made my way to the persistent knocker. Hauling the door open, I was met with the smiling face of Jacob, and his dad was alongside him.

"Hey, Bella, we heard you were back today. There's a game on, so we decided to come over and celebrate you being back for the holidays," Billy explained after Jake had released me from his crushing hug.

"Oh, cool. I don't know when my dad will be back, but I don't think he'll be long." I ran a hand through my hair, conscious of how messed up it was.

"Who's that?"

"That's, um, my friend, Alice." She had appeared at the bottom of the stairs, wearing what she had been before, her hair even messier than normal. I hoped Jake didn't notice.

"Nice to meet you." Jake stuck his hand out, and she took it reluctantly, and I saw her eyes flicker to the arm that Jake had wrapped around my waist.

"Same here. I've heard _so _much about you." I waved Jake and Billy into the living room, telling them to find whatever channel the game was on and promising to start dinner.

"You're awfully cute when you're jealous," I murmured into Alice's ear when we were alone.

"Why would I be jealous of _him_?"

"You tell me."

"He just needs to learn to keep his hands to himself if he wants to keep them attached to his body, that's all." I laughed and kissed her neck softly.

"Somehow, I don't think you need to worry about him. He's not the one who I was just fucking on that counter right there." I flicked my tongue over the shell of her ear and she shivered, turning around to face me, and the look on her face made fire shoot through my veins.

"No, that's true. And, unless you want a repeat performance of that, except it being _you _up there, I suggest _you _keep your hands to yourself and let me cook something." I grinned and kissed her lips softly before stepping back.

"Cook away." I ended up helping, and together we made a pretty good team. By the time Charlie came home, an hour later, we were pretty much done, and the five of us settled down in front of the tv. Well, the three guys did. Me and Alice curled up on the floor because there was only one seat left, and it was, surprise surprise, next to Jake. Alice looked smug when I chose to sit with her instead of him.

"So, Bella, how are you liking college?" Billy's voice snapped me out of the Alice-induced trance I'd been sitting in, and I hoped none of the others had noticed the way we were looking at each other.

"Oh, I love it. It's a lot better than I expected it to be. And I've met some really great people."

"What about you, Alice? What are you majoring in?" And so the interrogation began. I expected them to stop when the game resumed (it was half-time when they started the questioning), but they didn't.

They stopped eventually, though, and at some point in the night Alice ended up falling asleep on my shoulder, one of her hands intertwined with mine. I saw Jake shooting us furtive glances every few seconds, but I pretended not to notice.

When it was time for him and Billy to go, I expected him to question me about it, but he didn't. Instead, all I got was an invite.

"We're having a bonfire tomorrow. You wanna come? It'll be like old times. Alice can come, too." He added her almost as an afterthought, and I answered quickly before she said something stupid.

"Alright, we'll be there." We said our goodbyes and they went back to the Reservation, leaving me, Alice and my dad.

"He likes you far too much." She hissed, as soon as he had gone. I rolled my eyes, having heard this argument enough times from Edward. Difference was, I actually _cared _now.

"You think I don't know that? I told him I'm not interested, that I never will be, but he won't back off. He might when I tell him, but I don't know. He's very …"

"Annoying? Overbearing? Irritating? Aggravating? I could go on."

"Actually, I was going to go with persistent."

"Bet he wouldn't be persistent if he didn't have all his limbs."

"Alice! Stop it. He's my friend. I'll tell him to back off, ok? Now let. It. Go. I'm in love with you, not him." She looked like she was going to kiss me, then, but my dad walked in, and I was all too aware of our positions in relation to each other – we'd been leaning close together, and there was barely any space between us. Not to mention my hands on her waist. We sprang apart when he came through the door, but it wasn't fast enough.

Well, no time like the present.

"Um, dad, there's … there's something I kind of need to talk to you about." Alice shot me a look, but I didn't look at her. I had the courage now; there was no telling when I'd have it again if I let this opportunity slide.

"You two are dating. I know." I could only stand and gape at him for a while, completely astounded. My mom, yeah, she was good at reading people. But my _dad_? No fucking way.

"What? How … how did you …" Yeah, I was beyond words by now. Way, way beyond words. Luckily, he didn't seem as uncomfortable _or _as bothered as I would have thought he would be.

"Your mom rang me a few weeks ago, said that you had some pretty big news and that I should prepare myself for it and not overreact. When you said you were bringing someone how with you, I thought it'd be a new boyfriend, and that would be it.

"But then you mentioned it was a girl. So I didn't know what to think. But when you got here … the way you react to each other, it's … I don't know. But it's obvious you care about each other, and, well, that's all I want for you, Bells." I nearly started crying. Right then and there. And I hadn't even said anything apart from mumbled half-questions.

So I decided that no words would be better, and I threw myself at my dad and hugged him. "Thank you," I whispered, and his hands grasped me tighter for a second before he let me go.

"There's nothing to thank me for, Bells. Honestly. And welcome to the family, Alice." She smiled softly at him and then that was that. He went to bed, after warning that he'd better find us in separate rooms in the morning.

We stayed up for a little longer, talking about anything and everything, and then I set up a bed for her on the couch after she refused my offer of letting her take my bedroom. And after kissing her gently goodnight, I made my way back to room, hoping I could sleep well considering I hadn't had an Alice-free night in a while.

The next day passed pretty quickly, and before I even knew it, it was time for me to head over to the reservation, with Alice in tow. She and my dad had been getting on amazingly well – so well that I could hardly believe it – and it was with reluctance that I announced that we had to leave.

Even though it had been a while since I'd been around to Jake's, I still remembered the way easily – it hadn't been _that _long, after all. It just felt like it, after everything that had happened since I'd last visited.

We drove in relative silence, and the few glances I threw Alice's way revealed her to be looking out the window thoughtfully, seemingly absorbing the scenery. After a short time, we reached Jake's little red house, and he bounded outside to meet us, apparently waiting for us to arrive.

Or maybe just waiting for _me _to arrive, because as soon as I was out of the car he yanked me into a hug and didn't release me for what felt like hours. When he eventually pulled back, I saw Alice's lips drawn together tightly, and she looked ready to pounce on Jake, who was oblivious to her death-stare.

"Where are the others?" I asked to break the tension, my hand meeting Alice's and squeezing gently.

"Already on the cliff," Jake replied, his eyes staring at mine and Alice's clasped hands, an odd expression on his face. He shook his head before raising his dark eyes to meet mine once more. "Shall we?" He asked, motioning that we should get back into my truck for another short drive – I could have gotten to the cliff myself, but I was always at risk of getting lost. It had happened before.

So we piled back inside (Jake, after seeing Alice's disbelieving look when he tried to hop into the front seat, retired to the back with a scowl), and I tried to keep conversation flowing between us, which wasn't easy, let me tell you.

It seemed to take hours to reach the others, and I climbed out to greet them with a grateful sigh. After introductions were made (mainly between Alice and everyone else), we all gathered around the huge fire that was blazing in the centre of a pile of logs that were acting as benches.

I pulled Alice beside me on the smallest log, but Jake still managed to sit in front of us, his back leaning against my leg. I heard Alice make a sound that could only be described as a growl (and not the good kind, either), and I shot her a warning glance.

"But he's being an idiot!" She hissed, leaning close to my ear. I rolled my eyes, even though I agreed with her. But Jake had always been an ass when it came to me, and after a while I had gotten used to it. After all, he wasn't really causing much harm to anyone but himself.

"Yeah, but you're acting like a jealous crazy person. Which, may I remind you, is not the girl I fell in love with. So let me deal with him, please." I muttered back, and though she shot a venomous glare at the back of Jake's head, she was quiet after that.

Although she did curl into my side in a not-just-friends kind of way, but I didn't really mind, and as Jake's dad started to speak, I relaxed into her embrace. I'd heard all the stories (or legends, as the Quileutes liked to refer to them as) before, and I wanted to see Alice's reaction more than anything else.

So instead of truly listening to Billy's voice, I watched her face carefully instead. I was every expression flicker across her so, so beautiful features, from rapt attention, to disbelief, to amazement, and a whole range of others.

I don't even think she noticed me watching her, she was so absorbed.

When Billy was done talking, I tore myself away from her face unwillingly, but I saw my good friend Emily watching me curiously, and I knew that she had seen the way I was looking at Alice. And I didn't care – but neither did she, apparently, because she winked once and smiled softly before pointedly turning her gaze away.

"That was so cool," Alice murmured after a few more seconds, and I smiled softly at her, wanting desperately to kiss her and just never stop, but no matter how much I wanted to, and how much Jake pissed me off sometimes, I knew that it wasn't right for him to find out that way.

Before I had the chance to answer her, Jake had bounced to his feet and was looking at me in a confused way. He bit his lip, his eyebrows pulling down into a frown, as he stared from me to Alice, taking in the way we were leaning intimately into each other.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," I sighed, pulling myself away from my girlfriend with deep-rooted reluctance. Emily was there a second later, and I threw her a grateful smile as she engaged Alice in conversation. I followed Jake as he walked a few meters away from the fire, and then a little way into the woods nearby.

"You're … you're _with _her, aren't you? Like … like you were with Edward." He was eyeing me in a way that I didn't like – as though he barely believed what he was saying. I drew myself up to my full height and crossed me arms across my chest.

"Yeah, I am. Is there a problem with that?"

"Yes, there's a problem with that! You aren't supposed to be with her! You're supposed to be with _me_!" He shouted, taking a few steps forward until he was too close to me. I took several hurried steps backward, not liking the similarities between this night and the one where Edward had attacked me. I had a terrible moment where my mind flashed back to that night, where memories overcame me, and it took all I had in me not to scream.

"You … You're supposed to be with me, Bella. I love you … I thought, after Edward, that you'd _see _that you're a little bit in love with me, too." I think he noticed that he upset me – his voice lowered, but I still didn't want to be there.

"No, Jake. I don't love you. Not like that, and I never will. I'm gay, ok? I like _girls_. And, last time I checked, you weren't a girl. And I love _her _not you. You get that? So leave me the fuck alone and stop deluding yourself that I love you back. Because I don't, Jake, and I never will." I took a step back and a deep breath, knowing that my next words would hurt him but at the same time knew they would be necessary for him to ever give up on me. "Let me go, Jake. Just let me go …" I turned to make my way back then, ignoring the look of pain that crossed his face.

I was almost out of the trees when I felt him grip my wrist and spin me around, and then his lips were pressed against mine, unyielding and demanding. I nearly screamed, but reminded myself that that would just give him to opportunity to shove his tongue down my throat and clenched my jaw shut, hard.

Instead, I drew my knee up just enough to slam it in between his legs, and he let me go with a cry, his mouth leaving mine at last. For good measure, I socked him as hard as I could in the face, feeling satisfaction as cartilage crunched under my fist. Then I turned and ran the rest of the way, not realizing that tears were pouring down my face until Quil caught my arm as I reached the others once more.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked his voice low and soft, but I couldn't speak with the amount of crying I was doing. Alice was at my side not a second later, the gentle brush of her hand across the small of my back the only signal that she was there, but I _knew _it. Every cell in my body knew she was close, and I turned around and into her arms as soon as Quil released the gentle hold he'd had on my arms.

"Ssshhh, it's ok. It'll be ok," she whispered softly, her hand moving softly across my back, calming me but nowhere near as much as her presence alone did. I stopped crying after a little while, and when I lifted my head from her neck I saw the furious look she was giving someone over my shoulder and didn't have to look to know that it was Jake. She was shaking under me, and I could feel that her hands were bunched into fists, but I didn't want to cause anymore trouble tonight. My bed was suddenly looking _very _inviting.

"Alice," I whispered, my voice stronger than I would have expected. Her gaze turned to my face, her expression softening. "I just want to go home. Please?"

She sighed but she nodded, and she took my hand (though not the one I'd punched Jake with – that one was starting to swell, although it didn't hurt enough for me to think it was broken) and led me back to my truck. I heard someone step behind us and Alice whirled around, fire in her eyes.

"Stay away from her," she hissed, her voice low and dangerous. I chanced a look back to see Jake standing a few feet away. I took satisfaction in seeing that his nose was bleeding profusely.

"I … I'm sorry. I didn't - "

"Leave it. And leave her _alone_. If I see you near her again, I swear to God, I'll make sure that you break more than just your nose." She gently pulled me back towards the truck and helped me into the passenger seat before going around to the driver's side.

I handed the keys to her and we drove back to Forks in silence. I saw her throwing concerned glances my way every few seconds, but there wasn't much I could do to reassure her.

When she pulled up in front of my house she switched the engine off and turned to face me.

"Want me to go back over there tomorrow and beat the crap out of him?"

"No," I tried to smile and found that it wasn't as difficult as I would have thought. "I freaked out. He only kissed me and I … it just brought things back." Understanding flashed across her face, and then she pulled me into a hug. I relaxed into her easily, and when she leaned back again I wasn't sure what expression was on my face, but it made her laugh.

"Come on, you. Let's get you inside. And someone needs to take a look at your hand." She opened the door for me and took my hand, leading me back inside. Charlie was perched in his usual chair, watching a game. He took one look at Alice's and then my face and hit mute on the control.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice concerned for the first time in a while.

"Bella punched Jake. In the face." When my dad merely looked amazed, she elaborated. "He kissed her." Understanding dawned on his face and he ambled over to me and looked at my hand. He went to the kitchen and dragged Alice with him. When they returned, he had ice wrapped in a plastic bag in one hand, and she was trying hard not to smile.

"Come on," Alice said, her voice bright, and she turned to go up the stairs, the ice now in her hand. She only stopped when she was perched on my bed. She pulled me next to her lay back, her eyes running over my face anxiously as she handed me the ice to put on my hand.

"Why do you look so happy?"

"Because, beautiful, your dad just told me to stay up here with you tonight, to make sure you were alright." She grinned, her eyes bright. "And, he's going out, not coming back until morning." Sure enough, I heard the door shut loudly and then his car start.

"So we have the house to ourselves? All night?"

"Sounds about right," she replied, and I leaned over to silence her with my lips before she said anything else.

**A/N: Hey there! **

**Only one left now! That's … exciting and a little sad. **

**Anywho, I decided to have a tiny bit of the book in this one. And I really wanted to have the line 'In the face' in one of my stories. It's an on-going joke. Plus, I thought the legends were kinda cool. Yes, yes I am a bit of a geek. :D**

**Final chapter will be up … soon. If I'm still around after I get my results back from those exams I did in June on Thursday. **

**Let me know what you thought, you awesome and lovely people. :D**


	20. Chapter 20

"Don't you think," Alice whispered, her voice breathless, "that we should wait until your hand's stopped swelling before we carry on?"

"What?" I asked, my hands already playing with the hem of her shirt. "This hand?" I held it in front of her face – it was already feeling much better. "This hand is just fine, thank you very much. So, less talking, more kissing."

That plan seemed fine by her, so I straddled her hips and pushed her back so she was lying on the bed after pulling her shirt over her head. My lips moved hungrily over hers, all memories of the rest of the evening overwhelmed by the feeling of her underneath me.

She flipped me onto my back with ease, and when I tried to protest she only kissed me even harder, rendering me speechless. Her hands tugged impatiently at the bottom of my shirt, and we broke apart only to get the material over my head before our lips were sealed once more.

I had the button of her jeans undone a little while later, and soon enough we were both down to our underwear, our breathing loud and ragged as we fought to get our breath back. I saw Alice's eyes wander hungrily over my body but then they landed on something else and lit up.

"Wanna try something new?" She asked, her eyes glittering mischievously. I propped myself up on my elbows, eyeing her warily.

"What?" She didn't answer me, only leaned to the side and then start kissing me again. Confused, I tried to pull back but then I felt something cold trickle down my neck and I gasped at the sudden change in temperature.

Then Alice's mouth left mine and her tongue followed the cold trail, and my gasp turned into a moan as my fingers ran through her hair.

"That," she breathed against my skin.

"Fuck yes," I said, dragging her lips back to mine. I shouldn't have been surprised when I felt another ice cube, this time going underneath my bra and through the valley between my breasts, but I was. Not that I could concentrate on that a second later, when Alice's mouth was on me once more.

My bra was off a second later, and then her lips were on my chest, her teeth pulling gently at each of my nipples, the contrast between the temperature of my heated skin and her cold mouth making me moan and arch into her as much as I were able.

She put another trail of cold water down my abdomen, stopping at the line of my panties, but after she'd followed that one and was about to take them off, I flipped us back over to our original positions, wanting to try this out for myself.

I took her bra off first, before running the ice over pretty much every inch of her skin, enjoying the way her skin rippled at the sudden cold, the way she was biting down on her bottom lip, the way her nails were digging into the skin of my hips.

I let my tongue follow the patterns I'd made, kissing and licking as much of her skin as possible, until she was writhing underneath me and her cries of pleasure were barely coherent. Then I pulled back and slipped another, smaller ice cube into my mouth while I pulled down her underwear torturously slowly.

I kissed my way back up her legs, along the inside of her thighs, until I was surrounded by the distinct smell of _her_. I risked a glance back up at her to see her hands twisted into the bedsheets on either side of her, her eyes scrunched closed and her teeth still ensnaring her lip.

I pulled one of her legs over my shoulder and then let my tongue flick out over her clit without any warning.

"Oh, _fuck_, Bella," she whimpered, and her hips bucked as I felt the heel of her foot press sharply into the small of my back. I thrust two fingers into quickly, before returning my tongue to her clit, matching the pace of my fingers.

She was soaked already, so I knew it wouldn't take long for her to reach the edge, and I wasn't going to prolong this any longer than necessary, so I increased my pace until I felt her muscles start to contract around my fingers, and then my name fell off her lips. I didn't stop moving with her until she had, and then I pulled back, waiting until her breathing had slowed until I kissed her.

She pushed me back straight away, and then she was moving down my body easily, her tongue snaking out occasionally to taste my skin, and she dragged my panties down with her teeth before her mouth was on me.

I bit down on my own lip, conscious that we had neighbors and not wanting them to report my nightly activities to Charlie, but it wasn't easy to keep quiet when my girlfriend had such skilled hands and tongue.

Resultantly, it never took me long to come, and sure enough, today was no exception. I kissed her lazily afterwards, perfectly content to fall asleep with her in my arms once more when her voice stirred me awake.

"Babe, don't you think we should put at least _some _clothes on?"

"Why?" I asked sleepily, groaning when she slipped out of my arms.

"Because," she replied, grinning at me when I cracked my eyes open. She was rooting around in the bag I'd brought back with me, and she tossed one of the shirts I wore to bed at me. It was one of Emmet's old football shirts, and it was _huge _on me, so perfect for me to spend the night in. He'd given to me after I'd complained that I never had anything comfy enough to sleep in, and that I preferred sleeping in guy's shirts. "I don't think your dad will want to be reminded of what we were doing tonight by being confronted with the two of us naked and in each others arms."

I sighed and sat up far enough to tug the shirt over my head, sighing again when Alice's perfect body was hidden from me once more when she pulled another oversized shirt on.

But then she climbed back into the bed next to me, her arms wrapping around my waist as I let her scent overwhelm me … so I couldn't really complain with the way tonight had happened – and I couldn't help but be just a _little _bit grateful that I had had to punch Jake. After all, without that, Alice would have definitely not been able to sleep up here with me, and we would have never have discovered the many different uses that a bag of ice cubes could have.

The next few days passed peacefully, with little incident. My dad let Alice sleep upstairs with me from then on – but only after we three had had an extremely embarrassing conversation, and been warned that if he heard _anything _from us that she'd be back downstairs.

Over the last few nights, we had become masters of being silent. I had sustained a bite to the shoulder that had muffled Alice's scream the other night, and I myself had had to bite a few pillows to stop myself from making any noise, but all in all, Charlie didn't suspect a thing.

And then, before I knew it, Christmas Eve rolled around. I knew that, at some point in the evening, I was going to have to escape for a little while to go and collect the present that Emmet had (or at least I _hope _he still had it. If he didn't, I was going to kill him), but I had no idea how I was going to do so without making my intentions blaring obvious to my girlfriend.

So instead, I ambushed my dad in the kitchen and told him to keep her amused for an hour or so. He gave me the a look that clearly said I would have to explain, so I sighed and told him in a hushed voice what my plan was, all the time casting nervous glances at the doorway, afraid that Alice would be standing there.

But she wasn't, and a few minutes later, I was peeling out of my driveway (well, as much as I could in my _ancient _truck), and on my way over to the Cullen's house. When I got there, I rang Emmet to tell him to come meet me outside – there was no way I was going in there alone, not with Edward in the vicinity.

"Hey Bells. He's not here, you're ok," he said as soon as he answered, and but I still ran as quickly as I could over to the door, afraid (irrationally), that he would be watching me from the woods that shrouded the Cullen household.

"Hey," I said as the door was flung open and Emmet stood grinning in the hallway, Rosalie a few steps behind. I couldn't stay for long, but I enjoyed their company for a little while, and I was glad to know that I would be seeing them again in two days.

I tried not to think about the fact that Edward would be there, too.

My only issue in getting home was attempting to sneak in Alice's present without her noticing. Which, may I add, was not an easy task, considering it was half my size. Luckily, though, my dad distracted her and I managed to slip upstairs and shove it into my closet before she appeared at my shoulder.

"What are you _doing_?" She asked, frowning. She looked confused, and as a result adorable.

"Nooooooothing."

"I don't believe you."

"Tough," I grinned, slipping past her and back downstairs, knowing that she wouldn't look in my stuff, because she wasn't that type of person. And sure enough, a moment later she was beside me once more, a suspicious look on her face.

"Let it go, babe. Please?" I asked, and I knew I could get her to shut up if I kissed her, but my dad was sitting _right there _and even though he was fine with our relationship, I didn't want to push anything.

"Fine," she huffed, and as she walked past me to sit on the couch, she leaned up to my ear and breathed "But you'll have to make it up to me later." I shivered, and I was sincerely glad that Charlie was too absorbed in the game to notice.

The rest of the evening passed quietly, and we went to bed a little while after my dad, when I'd shoved his present under the tree the three of us had bought the a couple of days ago. Then we curled up in my bed together, and fell into an exhausted sleep pretty quickly – after all, we'd been staying up late recently, and it took its toll after so long.

So we woke up well rested the next morning, and I bounded over to my closet as soon as we were both coherent. She watched me curiously, and I told her to close her eyes before retuning to the bed.

"If you don't like it, then tell me," I murmured nervously before telling her to open her eyes. I saw them light up, though, and I doubted I could go wrong from there. It was pretty damn obvious what was inside the case as soon as you saw it.

"Bella … you didn't have to get me anything like this, you know." She whispered, her hands unzipping the black case and pulling the guitar from it's midst.

"Yeah I did. I had to get you something perfect – because you are." It didn't bother me to admit how much I loved her anymore, knowing that she felt exactly the same.

"Ok then. Same rule applies here." She leaned back to reach under the bed (giving me the perfect view of her ass, which was really a present in itself, let me tell you), and then she handed me a tiny jewelry case, wrapped in black paper. I unwrapped it hesitantly, carefully, and then opened the lid even more slowly.

"I remember you telling me that you liked rings, but didn't have any to wear, so I thought, since you told me you loved Buffy, that you'd you know, like one of - " I cut her off with a kiss, effectively cutting of her rambling and letting her know how much I appreciated the gift in the same move.

"I love it. I always wanted one," I whispered when we broke apart. I slipped the ring – it was a Claddagh ring, you know, the ones with the crown, the hands and the heart? – onto my left ring finger, with the heart facing towards me, just like I was supposed to. The ring was platinum, and a gorgeous blue stone shone in the centre of the heart – the exact same color of Alice's eyes.

"I'm glad you like it," she replied, and she kissed me chastely before pulling back and climbing out of the bed to change into her clothes for the day. I watched her appreciatively for a few moments before sighing and doing the same.

Charlie loved his present (a new fishing rod – I'd known he needed a new one for quite some time, and it was in a sale), and he got me a new iPod, which Alice promised to update with what she deemed as 'decent' songs as soon as she had the chance.

I had already decided to give the rest of my gifts out the next day, seeing as I was going to see all of my friends then. Apart from Eve, but I had given her hers the day before we left. She'd bought me a jacket, not unlike one of her own I'd been admiring a few weeks back.

So it had been a pretty good day. That was until I heard the sound of a car outside, and when I glanced out the window I saw Jake's car idling on the curb, him and his dad sat inside. I stiffened, as did Alice, and my dad threw us both apologetic looks as the pair were getting out of the car.

"I'm sorry, but he rang last night and he … he sounded real sorry, Bella. Besides, we always spend part of Christmas Day with them, remember?"

I did remember, but I still sat in stony silence as he sighed and went to open the door, greeting the twosome heartily. Alice's lips were drawn into a hard line, and she looked about ready to explode.

"Give me the word, and I'll re-break his nose for you."

"Ah, you're such a romantic."

"Well, I do try." I saw a faint smile tug at her lips as we were talking, so I leaned ever closer to her before kissing her softly. She had other ideas, though, because her fingers threaded through my hair to hold me there for a few more seconds, and I was so lost in our kiss that I completely forget that we weren't as alone as I would have liked.

This fact was pointed out to me when we broke apart and Jake was stood in the doorway.

I didn't acknowledge him, though – instead, I turned around so that my back was to him and I was facing Alice fully on the couch. She grinned and looked like she would have kissed me once more if my dad and Billy hadn't traipsed into the room in the next moment.

Charlie suggested that Jake could sit on the couch next to me, and I was in the middle of a smart remark suggesting something _else _Jacob could do instead, when he cut me off with a glare.

So, acting my age (yeah, right), I got up and stalked out of the room.

"Bella, wait. Look, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't - "

"Get the _hell _off her!" I hadn't even noticed Jake's grip on my wrist, but it was the first thing Alice saw when she charged into the kitchen after the two of us.

"I will when she hears me out!" He shouted back, and then he turned his gaze back to me, his dark eyes brimming with emotion. "I didn't mean to upset you, Bella. That was the last thing I wanted, but … I was an idiot. I'm sorry. I wont … I wont ever do anything like that again."

"Yeah, you'd better not if you don't want to be castrated," muttered Alice from somewhere behind me, and Jake cut her a look, only for her to smile sweetly back at him.

"I … I can accept your apology if you stop being an ass, alright? I'm not in love with you, Jake, and I never will be. Get it through your damn thick skull."

And after that, things were ok. Alice and Jake were never going to be best buddies, but their banter was hilarious, and it amused both mine and Jake's dad and me to no end. They even turned the game on mute at one point. Though I _was _glad that they didn't hear one conversation in particular.

"Your hairs kinda short. Actually, so are you. What are you, a dwarf? Didn't know you swung that way, Bells."

"Oh, Bella swings a _lot _of ways, Jacob. Believe me. And your hairs a little long, don't you think? For a guy? You use a lot of product in that?"

"No more than you do."

"Oh, this is my natural look."

"What makes you think that isn't mine?"

"Please. You keep smoothing it down, making sure it stays in exactly the same place. Who are you trying to impress? And stop flexing your muscles under your shirt. I can see that, and it's making me feel a little ill."

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you don't. Look, see, you did it again."

"You did, Jake, I saw." I couldn't help joining in – this was far too fun.

"I did _not_! Bella, why side with her? You've known me ever since we were kids!"

"Because I have, uh, _skills_, that you'll never learn, Jacob. Trust me." She wiggled her eyebrows as I shoved her.

"Alice!"

"What? Babe, you know it's true." Just as I was about to reply, Billy and Charlie came back in, and the three of us fell silent. A little while later, I heard Alice's quiet voice in my ear.

"You weren't actually offended, were you? I'm sorry, if you were."

"No, I wasn't." I smiled back, before I turned slightly so I could whisper into her ear, keeping my voice low. "Besides, it's true. You're very … _skillful_." And then I stood up, leaving her sitting there, looking more shocked than she had in a while.

The rest of the night passed pretty uneventfully, with Jake and Billy heading home at around ten. I went to bed filled with apprehension about what would happen tomorrow, but each time, I reminded myself that I would be surrounded by my friends, and my amazing girlfriend, the whole time, and I started to feel a little better.

"Bella! Charlie! We're so glad you could make it!" Were the first words I heard as I stepped nervously inside the door of the Cullen household. Esme swept me into a hug a second later, the motherly air that surrounded her soothing my nerves a little. "And you must be Alice! Oh, we've heard so much about you." Alice looked a little taken aback as Esme hugged her, too, and then she ushered us inside.

"It's so nice to see you again," came Carlisle's soothing voice, and I smiled up at the tall doctor, regretting that I hadn't seen him or his wife in so long. They really had become like a second family to me, no matter how much of an ass their son was.

Then I was pulled (along with Alice), into a massive bear hug as Emmet ran to us, and then it was Rosalie's turn.

Then Jasper turned up, Alex in tow, and it took him a while to calm down from seeing us all again, bless him.

The parents retired into a different room to the rest of us, and it was then that presents were passed around. I thought Jasper was going to pass out from excitement, and the rest of us were amused by his behavior.

We caught up for a little while then, and it was an hour later when the front door opened and slammed shut. Emmet's fervent glance at the door didn't go unnoticed by me, and I tensed automatically, knowing who it must be. Alice's hand squeezed mine comfortingly, but it didn't stop my heart rate climbing to unnatural levels.

I heard the parents greet him, and then I held my breath as his steps approached the doorway, as if I could prolong the inevitable. I wished he would keep on walking, but I knew he must know I was going to be here, and he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to see me again, no matter the circumstances.

"Hey guys," he called, leaning casually against the doorframe, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He looked much the same as always – pale, his bronze hair messed into its usual style, wearing the flashy clothes he preferred. But there were little differences – things I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't spent so much time around him previously. There were bags under his eyes, which were bloodshot, and there was barely any color in his cheeks. I heard Alice's intake of breath from beside me, and didn't even have to turn to ask the question.

"He's on drugs," she whispered, leaning close so that the others wouldn't overhear. All the changes made sense, then, and I wondered why Edward, Mr. Perfect, would do such a thing. His eyes caught mine, and I couldn't look away. I was caught in those piercing green eyes, memories once again washing over me from the last time I had seen him, and my hand gripped Alice's so hard that it was a wonder she didn't cry out in pain.

When he released my gaze, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, and my eyes promptly lowered to the floor. I noticed Rosalie's and Jasper's curious, concerned glances, but Emmet was glaring at his brother, and when he took two steps into the room, he shook his head furiously.

I glanced up to see Edward slouch back out of the room.

"He's been a real douche lately. I dunno why." Emmet said into the ensuing silence, and I glanced up to attempt to smile at Alice, trying to reassure her, but she still looked just as worried.

"Maybe he's just having a tough time at college," Jasper suggested, tactfully steering the conversation onto a safer topic, and I threw in a relieved glance when he looked my way.

I didn't see Edward again until a few hours later, when Esme got around to serving us food. He looked a little baffled by Alice's glare when she entered the kitchen, but then a flash of recognition crossed his face before his features darkened. I gulped and stepped closer to her, and she wrapped her arm around my waist.

Edward's eyes followed the movement, and he tried a few times over the next few minutes to get my attention to ask me to talk to him outside. I pointedly ignored him, but instead of giving up like a clever person would do, he proceeded to talk to me, loudly, over everyone else in the room.

"How have you been, Bella?" He asked, his eyes trying to catch mine again, but I looked away, becoming very interested in the amount of tiles there was on each wall of the Cullen's kitchen.

"Fine," I answered curtly, after I decided he was going to make a scene regardless. I might as well play along a little, to try and make it as painless as possible.

"That's good. So, Alice is your friend?"

"I'm her girlfriend, actually," she said, stepping in front of me slightly, and the phrase 'if looks could kill' was definitely at the front of my mind. I had never seen someone look at another person with such disgust etched onto their face, but she made it possible. And, she still looked undeniably beautiful to me.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well, you'd better believe it. And I think you'd better stay away from Bella. Your memory might have faded a little, but mine hasn't. I remember. Stay. Away. You hear me?"

I had to look up at that, then, because I wanted to see the look on his face. Sure enough, fury was written across his features, his hands curled into fists, and he took a menacing step towards Alice, who also stepped forward, determination her only apparent emotion.

"Guys, guys, break it up. Hey!" Emmet stepped in between them, one hand on Edward's chest, the other extended towards Alice. "What the hell is going on?"

"Why don't you tell them what you did, Edward?"

"I didn't mean to!" He screamed, rage coloring his voice and in his eyes as he turned his desperate gaze on me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't … I shouldn't have tried to do what I did. I'm sorry. I loved you – I _love _you – and I …"

"I don't want to hear from you ever again. Leave me alone. And you don't love me; if you did, you would have never done what you did. Stay away from me, and Alice as well. I'm happy now – happier than I ever was when I was with you." My voice was cold, emotionless, and I felt a sick tinge of pleasure when I saw anguish in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Save it." I turned, then, and walked away. I heard Charlie's and Jasper's worried voices calling after me, but I ignored them and kept walking. I didn't stop until I was outside and heading for the woods, when I heard the sound of running footsteps behind me.

I didn't stop – she'd catch up soon enough.

She fell into step beside me as I cleared the first of the trees, following the thin trail that I had found when exploring one day, neither of us saying a word.

"Did you tell them?" I asked eventually, as I turned to face her, leaning against the trunk of the nearest tree.

"He did. I'm sorry."

"No, they should know."

"And he agreed to stay away from you. He wont bother you again Bella, I can promise you that much. Well, I can promise that if he ever _does _come near you, he'll have to deal with me, your dad, Emmet, Rose, Jasper and Alex. We're all here for you, Bella. We all love you. And we're not going to let him you again."

"I know. I was thinking, a few days ago … about how much we've all changed this year. If anyone had ever said to me in September, that I would have five awesome best friends, would have realized I was gay and be dating _you_, of all people, I would have laughed in their face and told them to stop being so ridiculous." She smiled and bit her lip, and I waited for whatever she was going to say next.

"And if anyone had told me in September that I would kick my habitats and be in a stable relationship, be in _love_, I would have … I don't know, actually. Probably have sent them to the nearest asylum." We both laughed then, caught up in the differences we'd brought out in each other, and our lips met softly a second later, my arms drawing her closer.

"You've changed me, Isabelle Swan. And I'm eternally grateful. I hope you don't mind me sticking around for that long."

"Mmm, eternity? Sounds perfect to me, beautiful. So long as you're with me."

**A/N: Yes, yes, I **_**know **_**it's a cheesy ending. But I couldn't think of anything else to put. Call me cliché all you like. **

**So, this is it! Thank you to every person who's reviewed, favourited, and alerted this story. You are all awesome, and so is everyone who's been with me from the start. Love you guys! **

**Um, what else … **

**Oh yeah. Anyone interested in any other stories (AxB, of course) from me, I have plans to do two. One will be pretty short (five to ten chapters), and the other will hopefully be a lot longer, and that'll be my first with Alice as a vampire. I'm not sure when I'll have the chance to start on those, but hopefully it'll be soon. **

**And, just for the boring stuff that I always forget, I don't own Twilight or any of the songs used in this fic. If I did, I'd be filthy rich and living in a mansion … somewhere, without worrying about college. **

**Ahem. **

**So, to sum up, thank you all for reading this, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it! 3 **


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